TICKING clock.. i am a human...duhhh

[ute]

thank you for providing your eyes and heart ...more so your soul to help support me as i have no one else that would see beyond my DAILY lie and struggle. i am FINALLY ready to quit as i have gone to the bottom of the CASK (?)!
i am drinking in the morning.
i am more motivated and ready than ever before (forget Before...just EVER). i am motivated and want sobriety so badly i can taste it.
yet i am affraid of what beholds me tomorrow when i don't drink. how far have i driven myself into this hole that was once my respit? i have BEEN a high functioning professional and now the wind just seems to be out of my sails. i can barely think or get out of my robe in the morning and watch the clock for an acceptable time to drink! would have never thought myself capable of this behaviour. soon i justified that " i can quit anytime" and that is not the truth my friends.
what is the best advice you have to offer me on the road that lays before me? has anyone tried the Top? or other meds to help. i know i have a serious problem and seriously no longer want to ever toy with drinking again. i have realized my mortality and that alcohol does not enhance my longevity much less the value of a single day.

i REALLY want help and every input.
PLEASE HELP with your own experience and advice.

[KatBlois]

TICKING clock.. i am a human...duhhh

Hi

You will find alot of support and advice here, I'm not in a good way myself right now, or I'd be trying to be much more supportive, and uplifting, but it hurts me when I dont get a response, and if you are here you are already hurting. You need to know you are in the right place, there's many good people in here, and they all understand where you are, how your feeling, and you are not alone. Nor will anyone in here (from anything I've seen) make any judgements on you. I guess be paitent, and try to follow the program, it's a pretty awesome one, if you stick with it.... I'm bad at that, and thats probly why I'm presently not in a good way right now. ( frown) guess it's time for me to give meself a good quick kick in the butt and start the program again.

[Breez]

TICKING clock.. i am a human...duhhh

soon i justified that " i can quit anytime" and that is not the truth my friends.



You can quit anytime.....but the truth is that you also have to WANT to.

I basically made the decision to no longer kill myself, no more self medicating, no more hiding behind the bottle. No more excuses.

I can't tell you how many times "I tried to quit". I've tried everything from anti-depressants to Campral, outpatient to AA. But I still drank.

It's not until I finally had enough (being so sick from binge drinking that I'd be sick for 2 days from withdrawal symptoms and then having my drinking hugely impact my family). It was the decision to either drink myself to death & lose everything or quit drinking & have everything to live for.

Yeah it was scary thinking " how can I never drink again" or "how can I function as a human being without a buzz". But then I looked at it as "there are people out there who choose not to drink & don't have a problem with alcohol & they are happy"~ so why can't I?

There is no "set rules" when it comes to quiting alcohol. Everyone is different with different circumstances. My only advise is try everything and anything...there's nothing to lose.

:wings:

[ute]

TICKING clock.. i am a human...duhhh

thank you - i am very isolated now (self imposed b/c of shame of smelling like booze) which i hope to go to the grocery store tomorrow with the pride of clean breath!!
my jaw is tight and i feel tension from having cut down my intake already. thank you both for being here.

i will be checking in often.

with a kind and thankful heart, ute

[Popeye]

TICKING clock.. i am a human...duhhh

Hi KatBlois. It's good to here from you again. You sound a bit down. Ihope you can get the strength to get back on the program again.
SeaBreez. It's good to hear from you too. how are you getting on. It sounds like you're doing OK.
Ute, once again, welcome!!!

[Determinator]

TICKING clock.. i am a human...duhhh

ute, if you haven't quit in a long time you must prepare for the possibility of widrawal problems...not a scare but a precaution. all the very best and I look forward to many great posts from your new you.
take care