Bad sad news

[Struggles 106]

I had a slip. I don't want to go into detail,and as you can imagine I am very bummed out about it. It has taken me two days to recover and I feel terrible.

I can clearly see though,exactly how this thing played out in my mind, how the thoughts started in the morning and continued to pop up throughout the day. I missed 2 days of work and have been in the house since Wed night. Exactly as it used to be.

Maybe it sounds really stupid to repeat this but I am not going to live this way. I'm trying to regard this as a lesson and plod on. Things were going so well in so many ways. As they say
get back on the horse-that's what I'm doing but my heart is heavy with disappointment.

Thanks for listening

[broken halo]

Bad sad news

It doesn't sound stupid at all ann, it sounds like a really good idea to me. Learn from it and recommit to what you have been doing so successfully. Good for you! Missing work isn't good, but it's done and there's nothing you can do about it, so don't beat yourself up. Just be determined that it won't happen again.

Onwards and upwards ann, don't be too hard on yourself with that disappointment. :l

[MWOLady]

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Yes, Ann, honey we've all been there so it sure doesn't sound stupid to us :h:h so cheer up and repeat to yourself: this is a lesson, and I'm going to learn from it. You recognized all the danger signs - now put your emergency plan back in place.

You have many AF days to your credit and they are recent. So remember how good it felt and get back to that!! My heart goes out to you. I'm so newly sober (day 20) that danger for me lurks behind every tree!! So away you go forward to success :h:h

[Nelz]

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You've said it all Ann.....now get back up on the horse.


/Cups hands together to give Ann a boost back up :thumbs:

[jessie]

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According to statistics very few alkies manage to quit once for all. Most have lapses on the way. Don't be discouraged and use the feeling of disappointment as a damper when the cravings come again.
You will have victory if you're serious about beating this beast.:l

[Steady Hands]

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Hi Ann

You were one of the first people who welcomed me on my first post.
You sounded very strong and you felt very good being AF which means that you really want it!
Please don't be so hard on yourself! There was a post a while ago that said that most people cave around 3/4 months, because they then experience a mild form of depression.
And just look at your signature! You were 3 monthsAF!!!
The same person that you are feeling bad about now had the strenght and courage to do that!

Figure out what went wrong. What was the trigger, and just continue...:h

[sunshine_gg]

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What everyone else said Ann. Back up and at 'em, girl! :l

[Today]

Bad sad news

Ann, a friend of mine in Overeaters anonymous told me after I lapsed once something that stuck with me. You were doing research. And the data is telling you that you don't want to live that way, and AL does not work for you. So whatever has happened is now done and you've learned a lot about yourself! Things will feel better when you get back to work and realize other people called in sick too cause a wicked cold is going around... or whatever.

Keep going!

[Struggles 106]

Bad sad news

Thank you all. I SO enjoyed NOT being the company drunk. My slip was Wed night, and the night before there was big big corporate thing I refused to go to. Apparently lots of people got drunk and were driven home by my boss. But this is viewed as somehow f***ing amusing, rather than the
crap it really is.
I was with a small group so I'm not sure how widespread the word may be but you guys are right. What's done is done and I am going on with my life. It's a learning process. Figuring out how to live sober and engage with people is a struggle. I have a fabulous job but I rather wish there was not so much wining and dining, though YES I know it's my choice of what to do with that situation.
I don't have anyone right now to talk this out with so I'm trying to process what happened and
develop ways to avoid it in the future.
How about staying away from bars??? Duh

[Starfish1]

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Hi Ann. I new at posting but have been reading a lot of posts on mwo since last November. You are a great and strong lady and I have gotten a lot of strength from reading your posts. I am on day two. But like a lot of others, I have had many slips over the past 20 years and know how bad and sad it makes you feel. Now you can start over and keep me company! Willow 1 is also a newbie. We three will stick tight and cheer each other on. How bout that?

Love
Star

[Struggles 106]

Bad sad news

Sure Star

Thank you so much. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much.
And it is true that I can see exactly how the thoughts started early in the day, and the several points where I could/should have turned it around.
So that's a good thing-one more thing to know to fight this!
Yeah then Star-off we go together.
I hope noone minds but I intend it check in here every day. It really helps me stay accountable. I enjoy it as well and like to hear what's happening with everyone.
WE are SO in this damn boat together.
I can hardly bear the thought of facing people at the office Monday, but that's a lot of the problem-caring about what people think instead of focusing on taking care of myself.

[IAD]

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[I] Ann....everybody makes mistakes ! That's why they put erasers on pencils.....Ha! Pick yourself up again........as many times as you need too ! Quitting to do so is when you fail ! /I]

[DriftyAlison0]

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broken halo;1248747 wrote: It doesn't sound stupid at all ann, it sounds like a really good idea to me. Learn from it and recommit to what you have been doing so successfully. Good for you! Missing work isn't good, but it's done and there's nothing you can do about it, so don't beat yourself up. Just be determined that it won't happen again.

Onwards and upwards ann, don't be too hard on yourself with that disappointment. :l

Exactly what I would say. Just learn from your mistakes and move on. Coming back on day 1 sucks, but this time don't repeat the same mistake. Instead of picking up the drink, go here instead. You can do this!

[DriftyAlison0]

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Ann 221;1248818 wrote: Thank you so much. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much.
And it is true that I can see exactly how the thoughts started early in the day, and the several points where I could/should have turned it around.
So that's a good thing-one more thing to know to fight this!
Yeah then Star-off we go together.
I hope noone minds but I intend it check in here every day. It really helps me stay accountable. I enjoy it as well and like to hear what's happening with everyone.
WE are SO in this damn boat together.
I can hardly bear the thought of facing people at the office Monday, but that's a lot of the problem-caring about what people think instead of focusing on taking care of myself.

I check in everyday myself. I don't always post, but I at least will read posts.

[Starfish1]

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Hey Ann. I understand about not wanting to face people at the office. Been there myself. But I would bet they won't even give it all a second thought. Really. You know they were prolly drinking too and maybe they did a few things they aren't that proud of either. Just try to think how you would treat your co worker of the "shoe" were on the other foot. And remember we All have to accept the things we can't change . You are doing great Ann for not letting this one little slip be am excuse for falling back down that rabbit hole!