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[Supercrew]

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Hi Ann,

It's good to beat yourself up a little, but once you realize the mistake, remember how you felt earlier, (terrible), and buck up and move on!

I slipped 100's of times over the years, then 1 big time after I made a true commitment to sobriety. They were all part of my journey that made me realize that I choose to be sober from now on.

Hopefully nobody was hurt, and no relationships were ruined, and no laws were broken. If you can say yes to all 3 consider yourself fortunate, and start realizing why you like to be sober. You have a great head on your shoulders, so use it and take the daily action necessary to ensure your focus daily is sobriety!!

[ThreeDogNight]

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Hi, Ann.

Am getting ready to go out, but will write more later. And could chat with you after 9:00 if you'd like. I have loved all of your posts, and you have motivated me so much. So as everyone else has said, it's over now and you just need to get back AF and move ahead!

Stay strong!

TDN

[Unwasted]

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Ann, I just posted to you in the Nest and then saw this. Just sending you big hugs and support. You're so strong, I know you're going to get this down.......I hope you'll keep reading and posting -- you're a great source of strength to us! :lilheart:

[Struggles 106]

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Thanks to everyone

I wanted to add something- it did not occur to me to NOT post about this dopey slip here. You guys are a lifeline to me and I was hoping there would be support and of course there is.
Several objectives now-figure out how to live, and live fully sober. Also realize I am not perfect, and I am not a terrible person.

Clearly also y body cannot handle alcohol at all. The one episode resulted in 2 full days of recovery. Two wasted days! What a ridiculous trade-off!

Thanks again. I can only be honest here.

[Unwasted]

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Ann, I think the thing that is the most troubling is the way we can feel so certain that we want to be AF and then turn around and feel like we can't give up drinking. I'm telling myself that it's going to take a year to make the true mental shift. After reading posts by a lot of people over the last year, it seems like many have faltered around 3-4 months thinking they wanted to drink again. Well, why do we want to drink after 3-4 months? What exactly happens to make us willing to take that risk again? I want to figure that out so I know how to not do it! I think it's more than complacency. I think alcohol creates a deep hole that is hard to fill after decades........I really want to figure out how to fill the void - not by going out and being busy, busy, busy and just distracting myself. I want to learn how to feel whole without having to "create" things to take my mind off drinking. You know, a fundamental peace and contententment such that I'm not yearning........

Rambling...........hope this makes sense.

[Struggles 106]

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Makes perfect sense

I agree 100% Unwasted!
That is exactly what I've been thinking about. A real peace and calm and not just abject
busy-ness to distract from drinking.
My music group had a jam last night. I have not been to the last three. I am very self-conscious though I am a fair musician and singer. Noone expects perfection and everyone in the group brings something different to the table.
I sensed one day in a meditative state exactly the "hole" that you are talking about. It was very interesting. I think it's possible to become centered and whole without alcohol.
Conversely, it's certainly not possible WITH alcohol-that is definite.
Looking back does no good at all, but I really think that if the beer hadn't been put in front of me I would not have ordered it. I was feeling very happy and in control and getting ready to order water. Coulda, shoulda , woulda, whatever.
Back on track now. I hope my boss ( whi knows my whole story) doesn't ask me a lot of questions Monday. I was tentatively scheduled to go do some work in Cheyenne WY next week. I'd rather not but I'll go if I have to and I'll stay sober doing it.

[FreeFly]

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Unwasted;1248881 wrote: Ann, I think the thing that is the most troubling is the way we can feel so certain that we want to be AF and then turn around and feel like we can't give up drinking. I'm telling myself that it's going to take a year to make the true mental shift. After reading posts by a lot of people over the last year, it seems like many have faltered around 3-4 months thinking they wanted to drink again. Well, why do we want to drink after 3-4 months? What exactly happens to make us willing to take that risk again? I want to figure that out so I know how to not do it! I think it's more than complacency. I think alcohol creates a deep hole that is hard to fill after decades........I really want to figure out how to fill the void - not by going out and being busy, busy, busy and just distracting myself. I want to learn how to feel whole without having to "create" things to take my mind off drinking. You know, a fundamental peace and contententment such that I'm not yearning........

Rambling...........hope this makes sense.

UW - Makes perfect sense to me. It's what I want. In fact I know it's the only way - AL created the void. There's nothing to "fill" - real life just sitting there waiting. Habit and self sabbotaging behaviour - I just need to let go of that.

Ann - I hope you don't beat yourself up. It's just a blip. I've read many, many of your posts and they've help me on my way. You're strong and you know what to do. No doubt that you will :l

[Unwasted]

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I think it's possible to become centered and whole without alcohol.
Conversely, it's certainly not possible WITH alcohol-that is definite.

Ann, I totally agree. Alcohol makes us into something we're not. It's only sober that we can become centered. Meditation has helped me more than any other single thing that I've tried........I don't always do it, though.......but even the small amount I've done has helped me tap into that inner part of me that the Buddhists call "no self" ....I think it's that part of you that is not your thoughts......you know, that moment you have a sense of yourself when you have just a quick, sudden, short moment of no thoughts in your head. It's hard to explain, but it's very powerful if you study/tap into it.

Free Fly, glad to see you here. Are you back on track for trying AF again? Hope all is well.

[clare]

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Ann I dont post that much but am a constant lurker and read all the posts here quite frequently.
Take this as a lesson well learnt and carry on with your fight,By reading your posts i know you are a strong person,As you have said you sliped of the horse but jump back on and keep galloping as this horse can be tamed :goodjob: wishing you the best clare

[cellist_by_night]

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Hi Ann

Sorry to hear about your slip, but as so many people on this thread have been saying, you are a strong person and you won't let this get to you. Just jump straight back into it with your head held high. You are clearly really good at this as you managed a big chunk of time AF, and once you get more and more AF days behind you, the negative aspects (e.g. pain, sadness etc) associated with the slip will fade away and will instead become in your mind a positive learning experience. All learning is good learning and all knowledge is good knowledge!

With you all the way

Cellist x

[ThreeDogNight]

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Good morning, Ann.
It has to be encouraging to see all the support you have here. You've supported all of us, and it is now our turn to do the same for you. :l
I understand how you dread going back and facing the people at work tomorrow, but you'll do it. It sounds like many of them had a drunken night on Tuesday, and are probably not thinking about you. Just keep all the sober time you've built up in mind, and forgt the slip.
I'm here for you!

TDN

[FreeFly]

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Unwasted;1248940 wrote: Free Fly, glad to see you here. Are you back on track for trying AF again? Hope all is well.

Thank you Unwasted, I am. I've had enough, I've so had enough. :upset: Coming back to the fold!

[looking for peace]

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Ann, I would reiterate everything said in the previous replies. I also agree with unwasted, how to be at peace without having to find busy work. Meditation helps. Just know Ann, that you have been a great inspiration and help to others here. Thanks, LFP

[littlepinkcat]

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Anne, i know this sounds weired but i'm kind of glad u posted about ur slip and the consequences, because i am a binge drinker like u , we have spoken before and exchanged story's and i have been thinking recently, if i drink it won't be lke last time.... i hardly see my friends as they all drink regularly and its hard to be around them, so i was thinking i will be alright to drink and that i could control it, but ur post made me see i win't nd i will be on a big binge again, and my girlfriend would go mad, so cheers for the post

[K9Lover]

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Ann-
As you can see, you are definitely not alone in this. I am the Queen of Slips. Somehow I manage to get months under my belt, then I let the demon back in. At least you bounced back quickly, and didn't let it turn into a week, a month, etc. My last drinking experience didn't result in anything "bad", it just didn't do anything for me. So whatever romantacized feelings I had for alcohol, I know now they are gone. It brings me no pleasure anymore. You mentioned that you had to recover for 2 days...I can relate to that too. What a waste. We know how good we feel when we don't drink. Anyway, sorry you had a blip, but you're back now. Keep posting and let the past go.
K9