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    #1

    please, any advice, help or insight

    I have not been on in a long, long time and I was doing well. I have not stopped completely, but did cut back ALOT....with the help of a wonderful man I met...he does not drink.

    I relapsed a week ago and have been on a downward spiral. I can't seem to get myself back up.....I want so desperately to go back to those days I was excited about not drinking, although, I did not enjoy the mild withdrawals, but I ended up with the flu at the same time so it was a little easier to explain to him why I was feeling so horrible. This time, I feel lost, sad, unhopeful, just blah.

    I have not worked this program and really need so guidance. Where do I start? What supplements are going to help me and keep me strong?

    I just feel so alone in this. My anxiety is terrible after I drink and I take the prescription I have to help control it, but then I drink again later on in the day and it starts all over again.

    Please, any words of wisdom?

    Thanks,

    Tam
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    #2
    please, any advice, help or insight

    Struggles,

    First of all - welcome back! Good for you in making the decision to come back here. From personal experience, I can tell you that this will be my second serious attempt at going AF. Went 4 months last year and lapsed back to my old habits. While it's not easy coming back here and admitting that you have slipped, I think you know that everyone here is only going to give you encouragement and support. Wish I could tell you more on supplements and such - took L-glutamine last time but not sure I noticed a huge difference. My best piece of advice would be to get rid of all the alcohol in your house - too much temptation. Can you tell your man what you are going through? Maybe he doesn't know how much you are struggling and would be more than willing to do whatever he can to help.

    Sending you a big :l I know others here can tell you more about meds and supplements.

    Wishing you peace and strength!
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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      #3
      please, any advice, help or insight

      Thanks, Jolie. I just want to go back to those AF days...yes, some were hard, but damn it, I always saw the light at the end of the tunnel and I held on...this time seems so much harder. I wake up hung over and think, another drink will make me feel better...and it does, but until the next day and it starts again.

      I honestly almost made it 45 days, slipped once, caught myself before too much damage and this last time, I can't seem to grab onto the rope...it keeps slipping from my reach and i just drink again.

      I know I have a problem, I know I will not be able to drink again....by brain knows it...well all of my brain but one stupid part and somehow, that part can win.

      I have the cd's, the book and have taken the l glut also, and went to AA for a while.

      This is a daily struggle for me, I'm 43, and was never a big drinker until I met my now ex..but that's a whole other story. For the first time I feel happy and yet it's not enough???? How F#### can I be? :upset:

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        #4
        please, any advice, help or insight

        Hey Struggles

        It's damn hard isn't it? I had a bit over 3 months and had a slip. It was a big learning experience and has made me see what I want from a sober life.
        I think we believe that simply not drinking is all we need, but it's not. I don't want to get into the theory of the "pink cloud" but recent studies do show some interesting things.
        Recovery from addiction has many facets, of course not using/drinking is one but there's alos the quality of life at that point.
        I was doing healthy stuff while not drinking but it wasn't enough. So maybe we both just need to figure out where our passions lie and go for those things wholeheartedly.

        Frankly I feel like I don't have a leg to stand on, since I did slip last week. I was on a roll and then got slammed, so what do I know?

        Hang in there. Stay strong.

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          #5
          please, any advice, help or insight

          I gotta be honest, I truly believe slipping is just a part of the process. I sure didnt stop for any length of time the first 5 gagillion times I tried.

          I "thought" I had the motivation to stop, I really did. But it wasnt until what I call my rock bottom. I have NEVER experienced fear at that level ever. Waking up in an ICU with no idea how you got there will do that.

          Crazy as it sounds, I am forever grateful for that event. To this day I can relive that moment in time, and it really helps me remember why I had to quit.

          When you are truly ready, it will happen, I know you wanted to stop, much like we all did..but there just seems to be that little "missing piece" or little amount of strength you need.

          Im no stronger willed than anyone else on here with, or without AF days behind them. Im just frankly scared to death of what AL does to me, and what might happen next time.


          You strung together a nice amount of time, its like ridding a bike, the second time will be easier...just do WHATEVER it takes to surf that urge....be it 5 minutes, 5 hours, or 5 days,
          you CAN do this, we all can!

          Wishing you all the knowledge, support, and strength needed to obtain your goals
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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            #6
            please, any advice, help or insight

            Struggles, you can do it, and this is the time. You know hitting bottom is not always the time to quit. I can remember moving from one rental to another rental...all packed up, me drunk and passed out on the front step, kids trying to get me up and into the car, boyfriend also drunk, somehow we all got over to the new place - this was one of the 'bottom' times...but I didn't quit. But this time, I was moderating quite well actually. But I just had enough..

            this is my QUIT. I'm on day 22 and this is THE QUIT :H It's my time. And even tho I have had a few cravings I'm not going to start back on day one again.

            My tool box is all set: it contains Topamax, GABA, 5HTP, multi vitamins, a low-carb diet so I don't start craving sugar, family and friends to support me.

            You are having a hard time but please just gather yourself up, take some deep breaths and start. One day at a time. Please post here as often as you can and read all our posts. We will do all we can to be here for you. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Sending you some good thoughts. :h:h
            Ask yourselves, would you rather be a non drinker with an occasional desire to drink or a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it?
            (quote from Bean )

            Goal: Survival

            Comment

              #7
              please, any advice, help or insight

              You can do this! I didn't want to face rock bottom, so I quit while I was ahead. It took a while to get it but now I do and I am loving life. I am 8 months af and I don't live between parties and hangovers anymore.
              I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

              Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

              Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

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