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WASTING MY LIFE!!

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    #61
    WASTING MY LIFE!!

    Almost slipped up when serving dinner. My mind plays cruel tricks on me. I could have been convinced in a heartbeat to have a glass of wine with dinner. Hubby didn't suggest it for my sake I am sure and I never mentioned it. It passed and I am glad. Sure shoots my confidence in the foot.

    Sober Friday by the skin of my teeth but the worst is over. Bringing lemon water to a friend's tonight if we can get out of the laneway. Hubby promised we won't stay late.
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu

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      #62
      WASTING MY LIFE!!

      Think of how good it will feel to wake up tomorrow morning and remember that you drank only lemon water.

      It's your first weekend AF. Hang in there!
      Ginger



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        #63
        WASTING MY LIFE!!

        yes...Tipp.....hang in there babe!!
        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
        Live in the Solution....not the problem

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          #64
          WASTING MY LIFE!!

          This morning is Day 5 and no temptation whatsoever. I had one night when I thought about it but besides that, can only think of the positives of abstaining. It was fun last night with the baby over. She didn't go to bed until 10:00 pm and for most of the evening she sat quietly on my lap playing on the laptop or patty-cake or babbling away. And Granny was dead sober and totally present. Kitchen cleaned, coffee prepared before going to bed.

          Not wasting my life anymore, am I?
          Tipplerette

          I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
          ? Lao-Tzu

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            #65
            WASTING MY LIFE!!

            You sure aren't!

            I don't usually post here, Tip, but I'm following you, and wishing you the best.:l
            "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

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              #66
              WASTING MY LIFE!!

              Tipplerette;1252946 wrote:
              Not wasting my life anymore, am I?
              It's a wonderful transformation to watch! You are rockin', Tip.

              :l
              Ginger



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                #67
                WASTING MY LIFE!!

                Tipps, really pulling for you! I've watched you battle this for a long time. Really hoping this is your time! We are here for you..........life is so much better..........just keep going and eventually you won't want to go back!

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                  #68
                  WASTING MY LIFE!!

                  Thanks everyone. I feel da love !!

                  I think I am going to get off this computer and sink my teeth into something. I may pound on the keyboard and pretend I can play, set up the karaeoke machine and sing my heart out, bounce around like an idiot on the rebounder or get dragged out on the trails by hubby and his Quad. Whatever I'm doing I am not sitting on this fat arse anymore. Will check in tonight.
                  Tipplerette

                  I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                  "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                  ? Lao-Tzu

                  Comment

                    #69
                    WASTING MY LIFE!!

                    Just happened upon your posts this evening and am so very happy I did....I feel like it could have been writing your first post. On Friday, I had a huge but private melt down.... I was so fed up with obsessing about my daily and heavy drinking .... the constant nagging thoughts about quitting and the hours spent researching and making plans to quit. Of course, the nagging and obsessing always quit or at least was muffled when I sat home every night drinking my bottle or more of wine. So on Friday, I said fine.... you want to drown yourself inside a bottle, so be it...accept you are a drunk, and be a drunk!! Funny thing.... I have not had a drink since then. Am I still obsessing...yes....but reading through all of these posts have been invaluable.... and so, being in a learning mode right now....I think I need to get off the computer for a while and go clean my kitchen.... thanks to all of you!!
                    :heartsnflowers:

                    Goal 1: 7 days AF Done!
                    Goal 2: 14 days AF Done!
                    Goal 3: 21 days AF
                    Goal 4: 28 days AF

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                      #70
                      WASTING MY LIFE!!

                      Hi Tipps! Glad to hear you are doing well x

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                        #71
                        WASTING MY LIFE!!

                        Go Tipps!!!!
                        I refuse to be labelled or ashamed. Through my struggles I am achieving self awareness and clarity.

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                          #72
                          WASTING MY LIFE!!

                          K9Lover;1251132 wrote: I agree with MWOLady...do NOT leave the boards (please!)! Look at what you started here...so many of us can identify with your words! We are all in this together. I too want to stop the obsessive "thinking" about damn alcohol. Why did I let the bastard take over so much of my life? And why when I quit do I still give it so much of my time? That's what I am trying to figure out. HOW to let it go. I don't want to think about it or research it or obsess about it anymore. I have found that Antabuse has taken 90% of this obsession away. I take my pill in the morning and I KNOW I can't drink. But I still find myself thinking about it a lot, and not in a yearning, craving kind of way. It's just like a nagging itch that I can't ever seem to scratch. Maybe I just need to learn to live with it? I'm hoping in time it will stop itching as much. Keep fighting the good fight Tips, and I will to...lets do it together!
                          :h
                          K9
                          A nagging itch we can't ever seem to scratch. Does this itch ever go away? I think my goal is not to be A/F but to be A/F and A/T/F (alcohol thought free)... we can actually learn to live consciously, be a watcher of our own thoughts, thus nullifying them... or so says Eckharte Tolle (Power of Now)... reading him again sober. Enlightening to say the least.
                          Tipplerette

                          I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                          ? Lao-Tzu

                          Comment

                            #73
                            WASTING MY LIFE!!

                            betterlife;1253150 wrote: Just happened upon your posts this evening and am so very happy I did....I feel like it could have been writing your first post. On Friday, I had a huge but private melt down.... I was so fed up with obsessing about my daily and heavy drinking .... the constant nagging thoughts about quitting and the hours spent researching and making plans to quit. Of course, the nagging and obsessing always quit or at least was muffled when I sat home every night drinking my bottle or more of wine. So on Friday, I said fine.... you want to drown yourself inside a bottle, so be it...accept you are a drunk, and be a drunk!! Funny thing.... I have not had a drink since then. Am I still obsessing...yes....but reading through all of these posts have been invaluable.... and so, being in a learning mode right now....I think I need to get off the computer for a while and go clean my kitchen.... thanks to all of you!!
                            Hey Better Life, you may have just experienced your final quit. That private meltdown is exactly what I was referring to on the rebounder. As I was jumping and going over my alcohol situation I just lost it and really gave myself a talking to. Like you I said "Either shit or get off the pot." Enough of this shoulda woulda coulda B.S.

                            Better Life, I think we're on to something... Let's do this people.:l:l:l
                            "
                            Tipplerette

                            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                            ? Lao-Tzu

                            Comment

                              #74
                              WASTING MY LIFE!!

                              GingerDust;1251798 wrote: Think of how good it will feel to wake up tomorrow morning and remember that you drank only lemon water.

                              It's your first weekend AF. Hang in there!
                              Thanks Ginger Dust, Got through it no problemo. I feel GREAT!! Snow shoed today in hip deep snow. Hows that for feeling fit as a fiddle. We can rock this thing.
                              Tipplerette

                              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                              ? Lao-Tzu

                              Comment

                                #75
                                WASTING MY LIFE!!

                                Hi board,

                                I also have been struggling for the past 21 years with AL at a rate of 3/4 drinks per night, 5 nights per week, with about one binge night per week. I finally managed to get off it for the first time in my life recently (46 days AF today) and there is one amazing thing happening: the thoughts about AL diminish over time to a point where I don't even think about it for day's in a row. Keep that in mind, it does get lots easier through time.

                                Hope that helps, kind regards and warm wishes to all, Patrick.

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