Just annoyed

[Lotus]

Hi ya peeps

I'm am really in a weird mood today. On one hand I am really happy I am on my 8 day AF, but on the other I am wound up because none of my family has congratulated/cheered me on/supported me through those 8 days. Although I haven't had any cravings as such (Allen Carr's brainwashing seems to have worked), but I have been in a foul mood....bored, not being able to sleep, and awful skin.

I feel so upset that the the 2 people who I live with, and were affected by my drinking have not said even one single word of encouragement. I feel as if my mother-in-law is waiting for me to fail and my husband doesn't give a damn. He's continuing to drink as if it was going out of fashion. His excuse "I've had a s**t day". Now why doesn't my mother-in-law tell him to control his drinking!!! The only encouragement I've got is on this forum and some close friends of mine. But they don't live with me. They've know I have issue's with alcohol, but have never seen me to the point of drunkeness. But I can bet you if I go home and have a drink tonight both hubby and mother-in-law will have plenty to say.

I know I won't drink, but am I wrong to feel that I should be praised? Is it too much to ask?

[Pebbles]

Just annoyed

Mandy,
I sympathise - I'm doing really well myself too, but nobody knows except people here now, because nobody knows how bad it had got before and I'm not tellling!

I know I should be feeling pleased, but I feel nothing yet, except, like you boredom. I'm walking from one room to the next, logging on, logging off... can't go out, can't stay in!

My partner doesn't drink at all really, so I don't have that to contend with like you do. But I do have friends who like a nice bottle or three with a meal.

You are doing brilliantly, stick with it, you'll be sooo proud.
pebbles

[Mackeral]

Just annoyed

I dont think either of you are giving yourselves enough credit...The first week or two is the hardest...You get through that and you've 90% cracked it.
Sometimes friends and family dont know what to say...but they DO notice what your doing. My own parents very rarely ask about my problem...They prefer to ask my wife for fear of causing embarresment for me..Also Mandy sometimes silence is bliss...Dont give them any excuse to have plenty to say...Actions speak louder than words...And you can have that content feeling that nobody has anything on you...

[YoungAtHeart]

Just annoyed

I sympathize with your plight, Mandy, and I'm sorry that you're not getting the support you need at home. Unfortunately, by stopping drinking, you have also upset the family dynamics, where "Mandy is the problem". Now they really don't know what to do! There is always a period of discomfort and unease during this time. I hope you can hang in there and get support here and from your friends and know that you are doing something terrific for yourself.

It isn't wrong to wish for praise and support, but it sounds like you might not get it from them at this point in time. They may not have it to give. It sounds like a difficult situation, but you have us.

Keep up the good work!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[ButEmilyLovedHim]

Just annoyed

Mandy, you are doing a sterling job sugarplum.

And yes , we do want praise. I started out here after nigh on a month AF, yet I didn't want people to know because it was too good to be true. And I have drunk last night, and the night before ( three tom cats came knocking at my door, I opened the door to let them in, and they hit me on the head with a rolling pin ) ! ?

That is an old rhyme from my school days, but it is very apt, because I feel that I have been blugeoned with a great heavy object. I start a new job on monday, and I need to get back to where I was 3 days ago.

Keep your pecker up Mandy, just reading everyones posts helps SO MUCH.

I didn't post anything for months and months, now I can't stop. I hope this is my new addiction.

My mum lit a candle for me today at Liverpool Cathedral ( how sad is that? That I actually tell my mum EVERYTHING ! Phew !!" )

Love to you, Em X

[ButEmilyLovedHim]

Just annoyed

Mandy, you are doing a sterling job sugarplum.

And yes , we do want praise. I started out here after nigh on a month AF, yet I didn't want people to know because it was too good to be true. And I have drunk last night, and the night before ( three tom cats came knocking at my door, I opened the door to let them in, and they hit me on the head with a rolling pin ) ! ?

That is an old rhyme from my school days, but it is very apt, because I feel that I have been blugeoned with a great heavy object. I start a new job on monday, and I need to get back to where I was 3 days ago.

Keep your pecker up Mandy, just reading everyones posts helps SO MUCH.

I didn't post anything for months and months, now I can't stop. I hope this is my new addiction.

My mum lit a candle for me today at Liverpool Cathedral ( how sad is that? That I actually tell my mum EVERYTHING ! Phew !! )

Love to you, Em X

[Accountable for Me]

Just annoyed

Mandy, hang in there sweetie! I know how you feel. I am on day 12 and my family probably thinks I am sitting here drinking in the closet! It will take time for them to get use to the idea. I don't have a lot of support either except from my husband, and this website. I have made a mockery of myself for about 6 years pretty much, so they are use to the 'old' me and not the 'new' me.

Keep posting and reading. It has been a life saver for me. All the best and keep up the good work!

[Java]

Just annoyed

You are wonder ful!!! Congrats. I understand your pain, my bf knows i think i drink too much but he doesn't see it as a problem and he will bring over beer and want to go out and order alcohol, he can drink like a regualr person, but when I am trying to quit and he keeps drinking it is making me resent him for sort of throwwing it in my face, I told him I was quitting but I bed he thinks it is just for weight loss or something, it is killing me. errrr....Stick with it, I am rooting for you and MWO can be you personal cheerleader, I am very impressed that you have made it through a week, I haven't even made it through a day yet!!! You are my inspiration, thanks.

[Lotus]

Just annoyed

Thank you.

Maybe I'm just being childish, expecting gold stars or merits.

I have a love-hate relationship with my mother-in-law. She's heard it all before when I tried to give up but gave in after a few hours! But I expect more support from my husband. He doesn't think "he" has a problem. (And I haven't told him about this website). When we we're both drinking we we're more or less on the same level. But now he's the one drinking and I really can't put up with his beer breath.

I'm glad I can rely on you all here on this forum. I do feel better that I have got it off my chest...( no, not my bra!!!lol) but how I feel and it's made me realise that I am doing this for myself, not to prove a point to anyone else.

Mandy x

[Java]

Just annoyed

Good for you, i am hoping to move toward that perspective as well, thanks. (it is always nice to vent)

[Breez]

Just annoyed

Hi Mandy~

You know, when I first made a real attempt @ quiting I didn't expect praise. But out of the blue my mother mentioned how nice things were. My family life was better.

Then, of course, I fell off the wagon & again & again. So I learned that I have put my family & parents thru hell by doing so. So why wouldn't they think that I will do it again. Only I know that I WILL do it this time.

So instead of the "I'm so proud of you" & "you're doing great" I just look for small things. My daughter is hugging & loving me more instead of saying "I hate when mommy gets sick". Or I catch hubby smiling @ me (but I do get that occassional "LOOK" from him indicating that he suspects that I might be drinking even tho I'm not). Annoying.

I can't blame them. But I know that in time they will notice & will be proud and actually have faith that this time is for good.

So in the meantime I do little things for myself that make me smile. Because only I know how much effort I am making to make my family whole again.

So here is my internet hug to you...MANDY YOU"RE DOING A GREAT JOB:l

[betty boop]

Just annoyed

Mandy , Well done Love, but what you should really proud of is that you are doing it for you, not them!!!!

Keep it Up and well done :goodjob:

Seebreez, I too know all about those 'looks' that hubby gives, god I could kill him sometimes ..............

Lots of love & hugs to you all, Paula :h :l :h

[Changeling]

Just annoyed

It's for you

Hi Mandy
Congrats on getting through the first week.
You are doing really well and should be so proud of yourself.

I am on day 14 - and my husband has continued to drink almost every day.
It is really hard when it is so in your face like that.
My man has mixed feelings about my not drinking, on the one hand he is pleased because I am feeling so much better, sleeping better, happier.
On the other he is worried about loosing his drinking buddy.
Maybe thats whats wrong with your man - if you have always been drinking together, you changing will upset that even if he carries on the same.

Anyway well done - carry on and do it for YOU.
Everyone that loves you will be happy for you in the long run.
Best wishes
Changeling

[Lotus]

Just annoyed

:thanks:

I really am over-whelmed with all your comments.

(I ended up snapping at my husband last night as he was drinking again. I had to back off eventually as I realised there is no reasoning with a drunkard.)

I really appreciate all the support I am getting here. You guys are GR8.

Group hug.......:l

Love Mandy x