Suggestion for Future Slips

[Breez]

Hi All:

A couple posts had me thinking today & I thought I would pass this onto some of you who still may be struggling internally. This suggestion was given to me long ago but it wasn't until my last big slip did I do it.

The next day after my last horrible slip I wrote myself a letter. In it I included how crappy I felt in detail, all the horrible things I said & did (of course I was scolded the next day b/c I couldn't remember), why it wasn't worth it, what I really wanted out of my life.....basically everything that was in that moment. I did this b/c I knew that after a week I'd be feeling better & that day would be just a faded memory.

Now I had a piece of paper that I take out when I crave or feel justified to have a drink that reminds me exactly how bad of an alcoholic I can become, how I don't fulfill my motherly duties being drunk, not being a good wife & friend, how sick I become that I can not even function as a human being as I am chained to the couch unable to move. How my life is passing without living in the moment-I miss days & weeks unable to remember things. How everyone is disappointed in me but not as much as I am in myself.

I think you get the picture.

Having writen the letter in the moment allows me to relive that moment....and I don't ever want to be there again.

:wings:

[betty boop]

Suggestion for Future Slips

SeaBreez,

Yes I did that to, and Yes it really works, I even got my daughter and husband to add their words to it as well. Sometimes I read it anyway, even if i'm not slipping, to remind myself how bad I felt ........ just in case.

Thanks for sharing it

Paula xx :h :l :h

[lushy]

Suggestion for Future Slips

Great idea. Hopefully I will not be in that bad of a place to neccesitate me writing a letter but if I am I will definitely do that. Sad and scary how quickly we forget how awful those morning afters can be.

[daisy]

Suggestion for Future Slips

I love that idea .
I hope I wont have to do it. But maybe I will write one when Im not hunover . To remind myself how I good I feel sober.

[Rags]

Suggestion for Future Slips

Dear Sea Breeze,
I'm with Daisy. I don't want constant reinforcement on how crappy I feel when I drink ..the guilt, hangovers, remorse etc etc . I want to have constant reminders how wonderful it is not to be drinking. I think we need to concentrate and focus on the great things that happen when we are sober rather than spending the same amount of time and energy and lowering our self esteem by reading and writing about what we are endeavouring to get away from. I'm trying to put positive spins on the way I talk to myself, the way I regard myself. I've hated myself and had low self esteem for years. I think it's time to introduce mysel to the other me, and start to like myself, be kind to myself and give myself compliments now and then. And mean it.

[Breez]

Suggestion for Future Slips

Rag-

I did not say to read it everyday. I only take it out if there is an overwhelming feeling of wanting to drink that is hard to control. I could be in the happiest of moods with everything positive going on in my life. But when I take that letter out I can see that my next drink will bring me back to square one. Basically a reality check on what my next drink will do.

[Beaches]

Suggestion for Future Slips

SeaBreez,
First of all I love your name and avatar. Whenever I get really stressed I picture the caribbean and beach and hear the water rolling onto the shores.
I may take up your idea. I have good days and not so good days. I am a mother of three young ones and need to get it together. Don't get me wrong I am so much better than I was before but I do have a ways to go and maybe the letter will be capper. When I am sober my husband actually tells me to have a nightcap because when I'm drinking I'm distant and leave him alone so he can veg and watch TV. When I'm sober I engage him and ask that he partake in the day to day activities. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Thanks again for the idea.

[Breez]

Suggestion for Future Slips

oh...and this was a suggestion. What works for one person doesn't always work for another. Everyone's struggle and situation is different. This worked for me & I thought I'd pass it on. It was suggested to me by a person who had 12 yrs sobriety.

[Breez]

Suggestion for Future Slips

NP~
Thanx.

I know what you mean. My daughter is at that age where she knew something was wrong (she's 8). Mom getting sick, not being able to drive her to things, forgetting things etc. My son is still too young. Ugh-don't want to go there again. The kids deserve a sober mom & I have to keep reminding myself that.

[Olly]

Suggestion for Future Slips

Hey Seabreeze, NP, Ragnhall and everyone,

I think the letter idea is a good one. I too try to get through my cravings buy focusing on how awful, horrible and pathetic I am guaranteed to feel in the morning... and then.... how good!! I will feel waking up to another AF day.

Seabreeze, my daughter is 9 and even the worst hangover of all times is nothing compared to the hurt look in my child's eye when she'd say "Mom, you look different. What's wrong with you??" "Did you take medicine?" Yikes. Although still painful, reminding myself of how much my drinking has and will hurt such a young sweet spirit is enough to make me have to catch my breath.

take care, Olly

[wwbarb]

Suggestion for Future Slips

Another good idea is to write a letter that talks about how good you feel when you wake up one morning after you have chosen to say "no" to alcohol the evening before. I tend to move more towards the positive than to move away from the negative. That way, before you take even drink number one, you pick up the letter and remind yourself of the beauty of the morning if you decide to pass.

This is very powerful, either way you decide to write the letter. When you are "in the moment" you are not going to be strong, so have something to remind yourself from another moment when you are clear about what it is you want.

Don't give up what you really want for what you want in the moment.

[YoungAtHeart]

Suggestion for Future Slips

I'm with you SeaBreez--the letter isn't for those moments when you're feeling great and terrific being sober--it's for when that little voice is whispering that "one won't hurt" or "hey, I'm bored" or "I deserve it." It's good to remember how you really feel after a drinking blowout.

Barb's idea is great too.