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    What's on the other side?

    Tomorrow I have to give up alcohol or my health will fail...

    ...I've been warned and have taken it all in...

    ...problem is my life up to this point has know nothing else than an altered state...

    tomorrow I face a scary place... a life without the cushioning of alcohol.

    Please... can those that have made it through it all, give me some comforting words about the new life that I am about to encounter.

    I am scared... and need some reassurance so that it will all be OK?

    I've been a functional alcohol since a drinking since the age of 13 (I know my designation and I'm now 49) lucky to still be alive... God knows how?

    Scared witless of the cold reality of life... scared of the separation from my comforter... scared to face tomorrow.

    Please tell me that its going to be OK?

    So sick of being tired, so tired of being sick... is the other side a nice place to be?

    Please tell me your story... I need something to cling onto...

    #2
    What's on the other side?

    D1,:welcome:

    All our stories are different with a kernel of similarity. For me, alcohol was wrecking my sleep so I would wake up hungover and tired ever day even when I didn't drink a lot. I have a decade more of drinking than you do. I wasn't a super heavy drinker, though, especially up until the last few years. But, I was a daily drinker and thought nothing of it until it started being a problem.

    It was a huge struggle for me to stop. I tried earnestly three times, and the third one is working I believe - day 76 AF. I stopped for 30 days once and 45 another, but couldn't break the mental grip alcohol had on me. But, I kept plugging away and finally just forced myself to stick with it by reading and posting here a lot. I also read voraciously about addiction. Jason Vale's Kick the Drink was very helpful for me.

    Now, to answer your question, this isn't easy but it gets better and better. I'm actually getting used to being a non-drinker. I feel like I'm missing out sometimes, but I know the feeling is fleeting so I hang on and sure enough, the feeling passes. Overall I am happier and I feel much healthier. My sleep has done a 180 turn, and I wake up rested virtually every day. That, in turn, makes my day 1000 fold better than it was when I was drinking.

    Hopefully some people who have been sober longer than I will stop by. Many are doing wonderfully and can't say enough good things about their new life. I'm getting there to be sure!

    Sending you peace and strength.

    Comment


      #3
      What's on the other side?

      In a nutshell, I can with some certainty, tell you, if YOU want it bad enough, it will be ok.

      I didnt have as long of a track record as you did, but it was fairly lengthy. I had tried to stop over and over and over....yada yada yada. Always with good intentions, and it would work for a little while..and then BAM, back to drinking. Ridding the vicious cycle through its peaks and valleys.

      I had my "rock bottom moment" (waking up in ICU no real clue what happened) with hospital substance abuse therapists, telling me, it might be time to quit. I had known for years this path was going nowhere good, and I was just starting to drink as soon as everyone was out of the house in the am.

      Ive used that moment to help "surf the urge", which is what I think you will benefit from. When the desire to drink hits....try anything you can to redirect your brain. You will need to retrain it, to realize, you can live without AL.

      It will surely be a fight, but it can be overcome, as evidenced by the people on the board who have some AF days behind them. It will be WELL worth it, once you get AL out of your life. Many positive changes will occur, and in very short order.

      Try and stay pretty hydrated......loves me some flavored seltzer water, and I dont get a hangover, or do something stupid, I wont remember.

      Set a few goals that can be reached quickly...1 day 7 days 30 days(they add up fast)

      Dont want to overwhelm you from the get go...so Ill stop here. Should be much good info to come, and many supportive/non judgemental people to offer help.


      Wishing you strength, knowledge and support needed to reach your goals.
      Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




      DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

      Comment


        #4
        What's on the other side?

        Hey there

        I would guess that you will be doing some sort of supervised detox? I was also a drunk for longer than you too and I know where you're coming from.

        It will be a big adjustment for you for sure. I think that physically you would feel much better relatively quickly. As the toxins leave your body you will get better.

        Please keep coming here for support, and let us know what's up. You can do it!

        Comment


          #5
          What's on the other side?

          WELCOME!!!

          So much advice and wisdom here already BUT.....

          It won't be easy to start with. This is a life changing journey BUT it WILL be SO worth it! I was totally sober for 6 years and had a slip. Now back on the wagon, have been for a fair while, and LOVING how I am now I'm AF again. Just adding that little bit of info so you know I'm talking from experience.

          Once you get past feeling scared I hope you embrace the feeling of excitement that this new path will take you. Your life will be different in the best possible way. Nelz is a GOD here and there are so many other wise, loving and caring people who will support you - no matter what.

          Get a plan in place. Be organised because this beast is tricky and tenacious and you need to be well prepared. Read, read and read through the threads here. This site changed my life in 2004, and it will change your life too - you just have to work it.

          I wish I could say that it's a walk in the park but it won't be - not to start with. Just start though, and reach out whenever you need to. One day, one step at a time..... The more time you get AF the better you will feel, and there will be so much more you will want to do and be!

          This place has fabulous support and advice but perhaps you need to have sound medical assistance from your GP to make sure you do this right, considering the length of time your drinking life has been. None of us are 'experts' but we have good stories!!

          I wish you all the strength, courage and power to do this. You'll be sooooo glad you did!!!

          Hugs and stuff, Amanda.
          It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
          Mother Theresa

          Comment


            #6
            What's on the other side?

            Hi - i am also 49 and determined to really start life at 50! I have missed so much of life due to drinking - I was brought up around alcohol and was drinking with family as an early teen too.
            I have been AF just over 60 days and never felt better - oh, no hiding, it has not been easy and I have no doubt that it will never be really easy, but my worse days not drinking are NOWHERE near as bad as my worst days drinking - thats for sure.
            MWO is one of the best things that have happened to me recently. I have made very half hearted efforts to stop drinking, but never really tired if I am honest. I started here in Feb and tried a few times until something clicked and made it thru Thanksgiving, Christmas and NY, and some major personal situations.
            All I can offer is to do it, I cannot see how anyone could really regret feeling that way I do just now on a Sunday afternoon!
            Good luck!
            “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

            Comment


              #7
              What's on the other side?

              Many thanks for your support and kind words!

              Apologies for the "poor me" content of my first post - just had to get it out of my system.

              So... here I am about to face the first day (kinda curious where it will take me?). Have cleared all the booze from the house and have got a shed load of bottled water to keep me hydrated.

              Will of course keep you updated (just gotta get through the first few days alone).

              Again many thanks...

              Comment


                #8
                What's on the other side?

                Hello D1, just wanted to welcome you onboard. This is an amazing place that gives us the tools, advice and support to change our lives. It is hard work but so worth it and it does get easier with time. To asked what's on the other side? Life in all it's beauty, don't waste another minute it's never too late to be the person you can be. Don't be afraid to post and ask for anything, there is always someone here 24/7 willing to hold out a hand to others.
                Keep safe
                KTAB
                Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

                Comment


                  #9
                  What's on the other side?

                  Hi D1 welcome to MWO, This is a great place with lots of great advice and support from people who have and are being there.Post here as much as you can and read as many threads posts as possible,The tool box in the monthly abstinence thread is great help so check it out,Give yourself time to get use to your new life as you will go through tremendous changes some of which will be very hard.Good luck and don't quit quitting.


                  :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                  Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                  I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                  This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    What's on the other side?

                    Hi D1

                    I echo what everyone has just said. I downloaded the book and took the supplements when I started. Second time around I used the supplements recommended by Dr. Patrick Holford in his book, how to quit and not feel like ****. Much the same as MWO but easier to get in the local health shops. It defnitely helped with the cravings.

                    Good luck

                    Rustop

                    Comment


                      #11
                      What's on the other side?

                      Hiya D1, and welcome.

                      Here is our Toolbox thread. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                      Give it a good long read. It will help you through your first days, and early sobriety.

                      You are making a good decision here. Go for it.

                      Best wishes, G-bloke.

                      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                      Comment


                        #12
                        What's on the other side?

                        HI D1,
                        I am on my 3rd go at this and my best advice to get started is take it 1 hour, 1 day at a time literally.. just try to get through a craving, then come out the other side and acknowledge it and be happy you did it, You will see the craving swill get further and further apart. Stay AWAY from any and all places that sell Alcohol for at least a week. avoid the temptation.. I would even stay away from walmart becasuse its in the same plaza as the liquor store.. LOL..

                        you CAN do this
                        Know it
                        beleve it
                        Live it
                        have it
                        caper
                        AF since Sept 2013...
                        :alf:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          What's on the other side?

                          Hello D1,

                          I joined MWO in the summer of 2006. I finally become alcohol free on April 8, 2008, nearly 4 years ago. I too, drank too much for most of my adult life. We think that alcohol is our comfort, but really it isn't. We have problems & pain, financial, professional, physical, emotional and psychological. We think that alcohol provides us with a way of dealing with the problelms. When, reality is, we are just post-poning dealing with the problems. We escape into alcohol temporarily and when we re-emerge, the problems are still there and have usually been amplified and made worse by the things we have said and done, while drinking.

                          After the initial feelings of discomfort, every day becomes better and better. It is amazing to feel well again. Over time, mental clarity and brain chemistry begins to level out and return to more normal status and feelings of well-being come back.

                          After 4 years of sobriety I can now recognize things in my life that bring on feelings of discomfort that might have caused me to crave alcohol in order to escape from those feelings. I recognize them as that and then deal with them appropriatelly. The non-alcohol soaked brain reasons in a different way. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to react with clarity and not feel the urge to run and hide.

                          Add that to good sleep, improved relationships, more effecient and productive work, and just feeling good. It is an amazing way to live!

                          Good Luck! With your sobriety and your health situation.

                          Kind regards, Best
                          "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

                          Comment


                            #14
                            What's on the other side?

                            Hi D1, just like I did , you have found a great place for help. Go to the newbie thread, lots of help there.

                            Today is day 105 AF for me and it's been a long time since I have had that many days in row and still feel as good as I do right now.

                            I now feel positive, confident and normal and I owe most of it to MWO. This feeling started on about day five when my last hangover finally exited my body, i wanted to keep this feeling going so I stuck around.

                            How I am doing it:

                            1. I went to my doctor and had him prescribe some extra help...I was desperate and had to do something different because trying to stop for an extended period of time on my own wasn't working...he prescribed campral and it worked very well for me. After I picked up the prescription I decided to research campral and that's when I came upon MWO....this was the start of my new life. There are many supplements suggested here that might help you.
                            2. I have been to this site for a couple weeks now due to being over whelmed at work but for the first 75 days the first thing I would in the morning was get on here and read...it is a good feeling reading other post and relating to most of them and knowing others are going thru the same problem.
                            3. I read the tool box numerous over and over, I then used some of those ideas and built my own tool box to work from...this is a huge help.
                            4. I came up with a plan that I am using every day...very important to stick with the plan. I had plan before but seemed to always get lazy and the next I know I am back to drinking.
                            5. My family is very involved. I did my drinking by myself by hiding it around the house most of the time, so I don't have a need to go to bars or the buddies house any more.
                            6, I am staying busy. Besides being engaged in the day to day family activities I also am back into my hobbies. If you are like me, when you sober up you will have a lot of energy to put to good use.


                            The craving's have gone away, I think about my drinking now and then but I don't feel the urge to go back there. Every time I complete something at work or at home I think about how if I were still drinking this wouldn't be happening...things are getting done and i am feeling good doing it.

                            I am 51 now and feel like I have finally gotten over the hump far enough that I am too happy to go back. I am so grateful to wake up every morning without looking in the mirror at the red eye's and tiredness I use to feel every day....I bet I called myself an idiot a thousand times.

                            Good luck, I hope you feel they way I do soon...follow the advice on MWO and you will have a fighting chance.

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