The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

[rubywillow]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

I'm going to order Boris Karloff's 'Thriiler'. I could NOT sleep after watching those shows (circa 1962) and remember many of the moments from them. It was finally released on DVD in 2010, and Stephen King is said to be one of it's biggest fans. That's when horror was not slash and gore, but thoughtful, scary as hell, well acted programs.

[IAD]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Signs you'd like to see in a waiting room where someone is acting like a ass !! Ha! In sign language to boot ! No mistaking in what I want ! ha! Keep jamin' man ! ha!

[NoraC]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Love that sign Tony! Wish I could post it by my desk. :H:H

[tlrgs]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

hey there folks .. great day and just a lazy but shit needs to happen as i say ... so i dont slow down as the wheel turning and keeps moving... im just surviving .. and ruby you know me better then that .. sometimes it feels better to talk to ladies .. so been there and done that ... lol so continuel ... love and big hugs sweeties

[tlrgs]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

IAD;1264258 wrote: Signs you'd like to see in a waiting room where someone is acting like a ass !! Ha! In sign language to boot ! No mistaking in what I want ! ha! Keep jamin' man ! ha!

paste and copy that and send it to my email BUDDY

[NoraC]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Good to see you Rog.

Ruby - thanks for the update on Kelly & Vicki. I miss them!!!

Also, has anyone talked to Swannie???

[NoraC]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Ok - Hubby has informed me that our 6 month old Chihuahua has developed a barking problem! She just keeps barking incessantly. HELP! Any ideas to train her? She's going to drive me nuts when I get home.

[tlrgs]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY

DEFINITELY URBAN LEGENDS ....LOLOLOL xx





Don?t know if these are true...but sometimes you can?t make this stuff up!!



Think you are having a bad day?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. But keep reading....



Still think you're having a bad day ?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.



Still having a bad day?

Just remember, it could be worse. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.



Still think you are having a bad day ?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.



STILL think you're having a bad day ?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.



What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.



There now, feeling better?

[ATLThrash]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Hey ya'll-- cannot sleep-- AGAIN-- this blasted head coming back to haunt me (though in the scheme of things I have had it is not so bad I guess)-- I am so sick of not sleeping! It seems I cannot read one more book so here I am. Luke woke us last night ( I say Us but Mark rolled over and went back to sleep after telling Luke he had just had a bad dream-- which lead me to chew him out when I got back into the bed!) at 5 with an ear ache-- so today we went to the ENT instead of to Alabama which i can't say I mind but it does stick that he was ill though he seems so much better-- the rebound on these kids is incredible. Tomorrow night we are going on a date for a change-- hope I am not a total crab due to the lack of sleep. Probably should take this time to do projects I have not done but am not too motivated-- maybe next week! Hope everyone is well-- seems like folks are keeping busy.

[sunshinedaisies]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Good Morning everyone - Rog - laughed so much at the urban legends! And Oh My Goshed through them!! Just hope they ARE only urban legends!!

ATL - so sorry about your not sleeping - I feel for you so much - can only imagine what it is like as I know what I am like when I do a clopen - and that is only one night, so it must be dreadful for it to be an ongoing thing. Have you ever thought about doing one of those sleep study things? Glad Luke is better after your trip to the ENT! Are you going anywhere fun on your date?

Nora - I hate when dogs develop a barking problem - I really don't have much advice for you though - maybe someone else can come up with something? How are you feeling? Hope your back and ears are feeling better....... Yes, I used to love the Twilight zone, in fact I have the series on DVD and I agree with Jan - they used to freak me out when I was a LOT younger but they are - well, I am not going to say cheesey now - but I enjoy watching them. They don't have all the special effects of things now, but that is why I can't watch the things today - too many special effects and just too scary for me. the older ones were more suspenseful rather than frightening. I don't do scary. (yeh, I am a wimp).

Ruby - all the comments about having long hair and you aren't 18 and Jan saying it ages us when you get older - well, I still have long hair - and have no plans for getting it cut - so jan - are you saying that my face is droopy? Even when I was little I remember saying that i was going to be a little old lady with a bun!! I think these days one can have long hair even when you are older. It is just that you can't wear it the way you did when you were 18! (loose and flowing!!). Well, I can't anyway!! And rubes - I think your hair suits you, plus for me, having had no hair at all, then growing it out, unless it is a buzz cut, I found it is cooler in the summer scraped off ones neck, so in my opinion it is better to keep it long. :H

Have Fun at the cabin fen! And I will say what the others said - No Rock Climbing !!

Hi Bird - not sure if you will be here this morning bright and early - probably not unless the children have something going on. Hope that you have a wonderful day today.....

Hi to everyone else - Grateful - I will be thinking of you today and sending you prayers and strength. :l:h

No, I haven't heard from Swannie in a long time - I hope she pops in - I sometimes have a feeling that she is lurking though......

off to get ready for work.

hugs to all, love, Sun XX

[mama bear]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

hello precious family...heading to grocery store

[ATLThrash]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Sun-- I had the sleep study -- I just don't sleep much-- since I don't have apnea unless I take meds which I can't over the long term there is not much I can do. I suffer from a strange condition called sleep paralysis from time to time which I found out from the study. This is where the body registers as sleeping ( though not REM slee) but the person is aware of everything around them. You actually feel as if you don't sleep though the body is in somewhat of a sleep state. I can tell you-- psychologically it really stinks-- you really feel that you have been up for forever. In my case lately I have just been awake all the way. Oh well-- at least it is not a reoccurrence of any cancers-- they run on my dads side big time. My dad himself has had 2 tyPes and has survived though all his subs died from it-- but unlike him they all worked in steel mills and coal mines and coke processing plants.

Not sure where we will go out. There is one place in the suburbs Mark wants to go to -- but I am too much of a city gal to want to do that. I don't have an alternative so I bet that is what we do.

Time to drag myself to the playroom and see what havoc has been created!

[rubywillow]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

ATL, I've had 2 sleep studies done, and that sleep paralysis sounds an awful lot like me. Insomnia is so bad for your overall health, too. I go from no sleep to wanting to sleep all the time. Hope you have a fun date. Since Hubs hasn't been off in weeks, didn't get in till about 11:30 last night, he is scheduling everyone a day off tomorrow and has promised we're just going out and do fun things all day. Like the book store. :H
Don't know what to expect from the weather tonight. I love spring but HATE the tornado weather. Son and his family are all terried of them, end up over here. Kind of hard to cram 3 families into my understair closet.! I think son's phobia came from the time he was on a school bus and saw a tornado touch down behind them. Yeah, that'd do it!
Sun, Jan, thanks for your hair input. Can't make up my mind, but I DO know I've got to have at least a trim and get my color done. I spent last night going through boxes of photos, sorting out ones to pass on to my kids, and in all the ones where I was more blonde it seems I looked so much better. Plus, as has been pointed out to me many times, trying to look great and hot is not one of my priorities. Earth Mother here!
T, I've read all those before, but I still laugh outloud at them. Glad you're sounding positive while you keep busy. Hey, and e-mail some pics of that fan we talked about. It's something I know Hubs would love to get.
Nora, hope you're feeling better today. But I know if you're like me you've been dreading going back to the grind. Get really pro-active about finding a job up there. I used to beg Hubs to try and transfer to the plants in the mountain area, but they are few and far between, and, as I've said, he doesn't love the place as much as I do. We're also held back by his parents, our properties, etc.etc.etc. Now it looks like another 4 years and 10 months for him. But I'm really working (i.e. nagging!) about selling properties, downsizing, and living where I want for a change. I bet you would be some much less stressed there, even with a new job and move. And, does your FIL live near you? That's another big plus for a move!!
Tony, I used to have a cartoon of Sylvester the cat pointing away from himself that read 'Would you mind very much taking your silly-ass problem ANYWHERE else!'
Fen, hope you're having fun and no injuries. I won't mention the 'aging' equation!! :H I'm askeered to!
Coco, where are you babe? Now that you've sworn off fish we don't know what to fix for you.
Mishy, hope all is still well. If your daughter needs to work out her frustrations in a non-shopping way, give her a trowel and send her to the garden!
Kell, you're in my thoughts today, as are the others involved. Such a loving thing for you to do, taking care of the children. :hug: to you love.
Onward and upward, all. Sorry for names I missed, still love you all. Biz, Swan, we'd like to hear updates from you beautiful people.

[rubywillow]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Oh, and T, here are a couple more.......

The Bricklayer
Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."


"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."

"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

Gerbil Rocket
(1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

Bad Day at the Office
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So here's what we do to keep warm: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, doesn't it? I've used it several times with no complaints.

When I get to the bottom and start working, what I do is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck and flood my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my itchy ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened. The hot-water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is even worse than poison ivy under a cast. I had put that hose down my back, but I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communications system. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and 5 other divers were laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 hellish in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface for my chamber dry decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board, the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to coat my ass when I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut.

We've since modified the equipment to filter out most sea creatures.

Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to squash a jellyfish on your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope this will make it more tolerable.

(1996) Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake, 24, and his friend, Ormond D. Young, 27, at a Friday night Metallica concert.

Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20-ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground, adding to the mystery of the heretofore unexplained scene.

According to Commissioner-In-Charge Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the parking lot and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had consumed 18 beers between the them, they hit upon the idea of scaling the 7-foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and sneak in.

They apparently moved the truck up to the edge of the fence and decided that Young would go over first and assist Uhlenake. They did not count on the fact that, while it was a 7-foot fence on the parking lot side, there was a 23-foot drop on the other side.

Young, who weighed 255 lbs. and was quite inebriated, jumped up and over the fence and promptly fell about half the distance before a large tree branch broke his fall and his left forearm. He also managed to get his shorts caught on the branch. Since he was now in great pain and had no way to extricate himself and his shorts from the tree, he decided to cut his shorts off and fall to the bushes below.

As soon as he cut the last bit of fabric holding him on the branch, he suddenly plummeted the rest of the way down, losing his grip on the knife. The bushes he had depended on to break his fall were actually holly bushes, and landing in them caused a massive number of cuts. He also had the misfortune of landing squarely on a holly bush branch, effectively impaling himself. The knife, which he had accidentally released 15 feet up, now landed and stabbed him in his left thigh. He was in tremendous pain.
Enter his friend Robert Uhlenake.

Uhlenake had observed the series of tumbles and realized that Young was in trouble. He hit upon the idea of lowering a rope to his friend and pulling him up and over the fence. This was complicated by the fact that Uhlenake was outweighed by his friend by a good 100 lbs. Happily, despite his drunken state, he realized he could use their truck to pull Young out. Unfortunately, because of his drunken state, Uhlenake put the truck in reverse rather than into drive. He broke through the fence and landed on Young, killing him. Uhlenake was thrown from the truck and subsequently died of internal injuries.

"So that's how a dead 255 lb. man with no pants on, with a truck on top of him and a stick up his ass, came to be" said Commissioner Appleton.

[NoraC]

The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! FEBRUARY

Morning Funnies.......

Just wanted to check in and say hello. This must be Oregon - we had sun then rain now sun. :H Sure is beautiful here.

Have a wonderful day everyone. :h