February Free

[mama bear]

February Free

Giner...feeling a bit cranky myself, love
Unwasted... YOU ROCK AND ARE INSPIRING OTHER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
and Ginger you are right.......busy is good

[Unwasted]

February Free

Mama Bear, thanks. You know, it's interesting, because most of us think we would rather moderate.....but now that I have perspective of having done one of everything.....drank a little, drank a lot, drank moderately.......drinking nothing........I actually CHOOSE not drinking regardless of being able to drink on any level. That's a powerful thing because once alcohol loses its allure, we can be free of the mental struggle. And, if we can get enough sober time, I think we can hold onto that feeling. That's what I'm hoping, anyway! It's certainly gotten progressively better, so I don't know why that can't continue!

[mama bear]

February Free

love it, love it, love it

[K9Lover]

February Free

Morning Fab Febbers!

Not much to report here...another sober weekend, on day 49. UW, congratulations on day 90, that is HUGE! I think I'm finally at a point where drinking doesn't even sound good to me either. I don't want to lose control and do things I regret, or wake up embarrassed the next day, or hide from people because of my actions. I am happy to say that I didn't even think of AL this weekend. It's funny how eventually it does become less of an obsession. I do have the occasional stupid thought like "If I stop Antabuse today I can drink next Saturday"...but then the realities of drinking sink in. I was actually a little upset over some drinking memories that came flooding back to me the other day, but I listened to my Anxiety Relief CD and I realized that that is not ME anymore, and I can't change the past. Anyway, onward and upward!

Hope everyone is well and staying strong.

xoxo
K9

[mama bear]

February Free

ROCK ON K9!!

[Unwasted]

February Free

What Mama said!

[GingerDust]

February Free

K9, it's tough to get through some of those regrets, and I cringe at the thought of running into some people. I like what you think to yourself. "That was then, this is now. The person who did that wasn't really me, but a chemically-altered human mess. The mess was never the real me." The real me is one who so deeply regrets that stuff, not the poor, drunk schmuck who actually did that stuff. It's good to keep that in mind.

Another sober day. I was lazy yesterday and am determined to MOVE today. It feels so much better to be productive, but it's hard to begin some days. It would be great if there was some kind of "jump-start" for people (something besides caffeine).

Hope everyone has a good day.

[Unwasted]

February Free

Good Morning Febbers,

Just checking in to report my over-the-top wonderful night's sleep. I walked for an hour yesterday which must have made for the extra special zzzs.

K9 and Ginger - your comments about being ourselves sober reminds me of the Jason Vale book. He contends that not being our real selves is the single biggest negative about alcohol. I like the feeling now that everything I do is the real me, not the drunk me, or the painfully hungover me. It's a strange relief .........like I can face anything. When we first stop drinking all we can think about is......I miss my numbing buzz.........but then as time passes more profound things start to happen. It's slow going, but the missing alcohol starts to be replaced. It doesn't make life perfect, but for me at least, it's light years better. K9, if you don't mind my asking........what is the longest period AF for you? I see people's posts who have caved after years. Can you talk about why you drank again after long periods of time? I would like to understand the kind of situation or thinking that made you go back.

Mama Bear, Bird, Nora, WW, Sun, RC - not sure if you're still Febbing, and anyone else who stops by.............have a super AF day! :lilheart:

[sunshinedaisies]

February Free

Hi there UW - OF COURSE I am still Febbing !!! I work odd shifts and sometimes don't have the time to come and post - shame on me !! I am feeling really good too - you asked K9 what was her longest period of being sober and what made her drink again - if you don't mind I would like to tell you what made me drink again after 8 months of AF. I broke my foot, and was at home bored. Only at home for a week as they put me off the schedule at work when I told them I had broken my foot. I was bored and thought about AL and decided that i could mod. After all, I had 8 months under my belt and could handle it now. Just thought I would get a four pack - Guinness only comes in fours - that first day just had 1. Lovely. The next day had the next 3. BIG mistake. That isn't modding. Instead of stopping there and not buying more, I was already hooked again. That was 1 1/2 years ago. Nearly 2 years ago actually. Anyway it has taken me that long to finally get to the quit point again where I KNEW I could do it and stay done this time. Which is why I KNOW I can never have another drink again. No matter how long I have under my belt. I stopped this time the 4th jan and this will be it for me. Never again. It takes way too long to get back to where I am now - for me anyway. Maybe this will stop someone else from starting again - thinking they CAN have JUST THAT ONE!! Just responded to another post about why we drink and decided to add this to mine - I was also quite depressed when i quit drinking - and couldn't get rid of the vague unsettled feeling - when I had that first drink, it went away!!!! I felt quite normal again, for the first time since I had quit. I hadn't had a plan of any sort that first time, so quitting AL left quite a void in my life - this time round I had already planned on how to fill it and what to do, and this time has been SO different. No sleepless nights, no depression, none of the stuff I had last time. Looking back, it is all quite interesting....

Jan - I know you are still doing well - go you ! SO proud of you!! Nora - you too! Ginger - well done on an AF day yesterday - Bird - you too, are doing well!!

K9 - I so agree - the past is gone - you can't change it so why worry about it - onwards and make a new life AF !! I haven't the stuff that you have had, in my past, so don't have the same worries - I feel for you, but know that as you said, you are NOT that same person any more. You are a new you, and an awesome one at that for overcoming all that you have. I am in awe that you have managed to overcome it all - well done :l

On to my day - I am off today and have my usual list of things to do - I LOVE lists! LOL

Back later, Hugs, Sun X

[pizzaman1960]

February Free

hi

Im in i had four days AF last week then binged all weekend and lost a day at work yesterday,im sick of the shit that goes with drinking cant handle the dreadful hangovers,feeling sick, lack of sleep,yes lets kick alcohol into touch.good luck to all. Joe

[mama bear]

February Free

Come on Joe.....let's do it again....I cannot TELL you how many day ones I have had...
Yes I am still in for February

[K9Lover]

February Free

Hi UW (and all you other wonderful Febbers!) -
You asked about the longest sober time I had, and of course I DON'T mind you asking...you guys can ask me anything, I'm pretty much an open book! LOL So to answer your question, it was last year, I was sober through May, June, July and part of August...well over 100+ days. I WISH I knew what snapped. Here is the really confusing part: I was at a 3 day religious convention, feeling really good, surrounded by family...and as the program wrapped up on Sunday afternoon I had this overwhelming desire to "treat" myself to a few beers that night. I was off work the next day, I was dropping my daughter off at her dads that night, it was the perfect scenario! I had stopped taking Antabuse 2 weeks before because I was doing SO well, and was cured (NOT). Anyway I was so excited to execute this plan of having a relaxing night of drinking, alone, and nobody would know! Well I carried out my plan, and nothing "bad" happened, other than the self-loathing and regret, and the major hangover the next day. I was SO disappointed in myself. Thinking back I don't even remember the drinking episode in itself, I just remember the horrible way I felt in it's wake. It was SOOOO not worth it. I would have to look back at my calendar to know if I got back on the wagon right away, or if I continued drinking for a few more days (this is probably what happened, I'll tell you when I look). I know I didn't answer your question as to WHY I drank...I honestly don't know the answer to that, and I wish I did! All I know is that it's never worth it. The good, happy feeling of being sober is so much better than giving back in to the beast!! I think back then I still had the "romanticized" version of drinking in my head, you know the one, sitting by the fire, drink in hand, happy, buzzed, relaxed....and now I see the "reality" version...pounding beer, getting emotional and losing control, turning into a monster, blacking out, possibly driving drunk, passing out, waking up at 3am with shame, regret, embarrassment, anxiety, and feeling like shit! That's the truth of drinking for me...I see it now.

[NoraC]

February Free

Morning Febbers!!!

Joe - glad that you joined us. We CAN do this!!!!

Love reading these posts! Really, really helpful. I'm already playing a game in my head. My hubby is going up to his Dad's in early March. If I stop the antabuse, I can have a week of drinking and then get back on it before he comes home. Now - I KNOW in my mind that I don't want to do that. But, in the very back of my mind is this little bad thought that is trying to take control. So, I will be leaning on you all quite a bit in a couple of weeks. :h

Well - I'm still up here with my parents in Oregon. I love being with them. No thoughts of drinking here.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I planned my trip without looking at my calendar so I had to wish Hubby a long distance Valentine. :H

[Unwasted]

February Free

Great posts K9 and Sun, thank you! I think the relapses really help cement in our brains that we CANNOT drink, and that our "eurphoric recall" is exactly that.......some misperception of what alcohol really did for us. So appreciate these posts.........they will help me and others avoid relapsing, I feel sure! I never cease to be amazed at how it sneaks up on people. We get complacent and have a false sense of how bad it really was. Again, super posts. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Pizzaman, we have all been where you're at........and we all promise the same exact thing. Being sober is dramatically better than drinking. It takes time, but eventually you'll be extremely greatful that you quit. Be sure to visit the Newbie's Nest in addition to this thread......lots of great advice there. And, here is a link to the Toolbox which is loaded with helpful plans to stay sober. Be sure to scroll through because things get buried. And, tell us more about you........Read and post A LOT! Let us know how we can help.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Hey Mama Bear.......

Nora - x post........good that you're thinking ahead to when hubs will be gone. Maybe you can just live with the parents LOL

[fennel]

February Free

Happy Valentine's day, Febbers! :h

Nora, I know you've said before that you don't feel like drinking when you're with your folks...why is that? Maybe you should just stay there!