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    #181
    February Free

    Hello Guys,

    I just wanted to check in and say I've still been struggling. Made it through last week AF and then blew it on the weekend. I'm still waiting on the antabuse. Anyway, I'm feeling quiet and so I'm not posting for awhile, but I'm reading and hopefully will be back in the saddle soon. :l

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      #182
      February Free

      Hey Fennel, welcome!

      ML, I've been wondering about you and figured you had decided to drink until you got the Antabuse. Are you still planning on taking it? :lilheart:

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        #183
        February Free

        ML - When do you expect the Antabuse to arrive? Be sure to give yourself at least 12 hours between your last drink and your first pill.

        I could not figure out why everyone is wearing red today...I was like "Jeez, was there a red memo that went out?"....um...I just realized it's Valentine's Day...and here's the really funny part...I wore red too without even realizing it. LOL :nutso:
        :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

        Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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          #184
          February Free

          K9, that's funny. I guess I'm getting old and crotchety because I just look at it as another big retail day like xmas! I'm not one for forced celebrations just because someone decided on the day if you know what I mean......

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            #185
            February Free

            Welcome Fennel and Pizzaman. WB, mylife. I hope your shipment gets in soon.

            You are not the only crochety one, UW. We ignore Valentines and most holidays. I don't miss them one bit.

            Laaaazy here again today. If I just start moving, I feel so much better! But getting my butt out of the chair is challenge sometimes. I do not think I realized how much I relied on caffeine. :wahh: I had a glass of tea earlier today because my head was pounding, but that's all the go-juice I've had for two days. :upset:

            I'm also in a state of semi-dread about another project. The project will be cool at the end, but my house is going to be chaos in the meantime. I hate chaos! Once I tear into this, there's no turning back, so I'm suffering in a state of anxious procrastination.

            OK, enough whining and anticipating unpleasant things. I'm still sober and really doing just fine. My husband has not brought anymore alcohol into the house and he finished the last of the beer last night. He said he's going AF with me. I have hunch he'll steal away after work to have a couple beers with the boys, and that's OK with me.

            I hope everyone is having a decent day. Hang in there, everyone.
            Ginger



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              #186
              February Free

              UW - I agree! I don't celebrate ANY holidays for religious reasons...which is why it's so funny that I wore red today (I never wear red). LOL Not only that but I'm going around like a dumb ass asking "Why is everyone wearing red today?"
              :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

              Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                #187
                February Free

                K9 and Ginger, not only do I not miss the phony forced days, I feel enormous relief in not having to jump through those hoops when I don't really believe in them.....that's one of the nice things about getting older, you just don't give a shit LOL. I love being alone, peaceful, lazy, not having to do anything that I don't choose to do (which includes all religious holiday celebrations for me too K9.......I don't put up a tree or anything). I used to feel funny about it but now I don't. There's great freedom in being able to finally not be shamed into doing those things just because everyone else does them!

                Ginger, I think it's fantastic that your husband is not bringing al in the house and is going to cut back or even go af. It's very helpful, I can assure you. Even if he drinks a little, it's so much better than if he were slamming back huge amounts while at home with you all the time. If you didn't want to drink, you'd at least resent him on some level for being so willing to wave it in your face all the time.

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                  #188
                  February Free

                  Hi all.
                  I am still Febbing too!! Do think about drinking lots but am on antabuse. Do think well if I dont take it I can drink in blah blah # of days. I only think that way in the evenings so I make sure to take it in the mornings. Seems odd when I write about it though. Sort of like I eat eggs in the morning but never at night. Or the sun is out in day and the moon at night. Its really 2 very different ways of thinking.

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                    #189
                    February Free

                    Bird, I always had resolve in the mornings - guess it was that strong association with evenings because that's when I drank (for decades). Glad it's going well for you. Keep us posted.

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                      #190
                      February Free

                      Bird - that's the way it is with me too. Exactly!!!!!!
                      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                      ..........
                      AF - 7-27-15

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                        #191
                        February Free

                        Mylife - Please keep hanging in there. Post when you can. It's not easy and I've had so many start overs. We all understand here. :l
                        "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                        ..........
                        AF - 7-27-15

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                          #192
                          February Free

                          Quick hello - think I have worked out why I messed up this weekend - I know why I did the first day (that broke my long streak - that was the bad news day), but I got back on track and couldn't work out why I drank again after 6 days - but think i have worked it out, I think it is all hormones! DANG IT! I had plans for all eventualities, but this wasn't supposed to happen and I did not realise what was happening - TMI I know, but I am relieved that I am not just nuts - I needed to know why!
                          So since after Thanksgiving - 67 days, then 1 day drinking, then 6 days and 3 drinking - now 3 AF and hopefully can keep going....have to change that pattern - the drinking days are creeping up and the AF ones going down!!
                          ML - hang in, please! I so understand struggling right now - each day is painful, just like it was back at the beginning - not happy when I slip, but lets not give up, I really believe one day it will click.....
                          “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                            #193
                            February Free

                            Hey Scottish Lass - I am now in menopause but those monthly hormone were DEFINITE triggers for me. Good that you noticed so you can try to combat it. I don't have any great advice but since you know this, you will be able to watch for it. :h
                            "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                            ..........
                            AF - 7-27-15

                            Comment

                              #194
                              February Free

                              I had a hard time during menopause too. I would get so irritable and drink so I wouldnt lose my cool. The drinking always made my hot flashes worse. I've read that some women dont develop a drinking problem until menopause....hang in there..

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                                #195
                                February Free

                                Hi everyone - not much time, getting ready for work - mylife - no worries on slipping - come back anyway - you need the support and the encouragement! We are here to help and support - it is hard - and we have all been where you are. Hugs to you :l

                                Have a wonderful day everyone, sun X
                                How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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