February Free

[mylife]

February Free

PS Ginger - so glad to hear you're having success with the antabuse - even if you're feeling bitchy at home!! :l

And my husband does want me to quit drinking - he just doesn't understand addiction at all. I was the same way years ago...(sigh). I wish I still was so blissfully unaware!

[scottish lass]

February Free

Another bitch signing in - i do have the time of the month excuse, and it is witching hour and I want a drink - so a double bitch tonight - but thats ok as it is me, myself and I at home - girls come tomorrow for my week, and the three day weekend - YAHOO!
ML - so sorry. that is a bitch (). I plucked up courage to go to my Dr about 10 yrs ago and she told me that no way did I have a problem, of course I hung on to that for 8 years. I went to another one a couple years ago, who said ok, we will check your liver numbers sometime - gave no help, but wrote alcoholic dependancy on my chart that is there for everyone to see (electronic charting) and since then everything I ask about winds it way to the AL, and not an ounce of assistance. So longwinded way to say I agree with you ML, and hopefully he will work thru it - maybe he just needs some time...

[NoraC]

February Free

Scottish Lass - I have it in my chart too. I went to the Dr a month or so ago for a back ache. When I got home & looked at my visit summary, there it was.......alcoholism (episodic). I was there for my back! Why in the world did this print out on my summary?

[GingerDust]

February Free

Nora, that is strange that it would print in your summary. That would disturb me too.

If it's not already, it will probably be on my record too. My gut issues have graduated to abdominal pain, so I will tell them about the antabuse if I go in. I don't think it's antabuse that is causing it, BTW. It's been something I've been dealing with for a couple months. And the annual sinus battle too. Yes, I bitchy and whiny.

I didn't get anything done that I wanted to do yesterday. Energy is just not coming my way at the moment. I have a lot of things to choose from, even fun things I could be doing (shopping), but I just don't feel like it. The blahs have me.

But as of today, I am one week AF. I would not trade the ouchies of today for the sobriety I've had so far. I wouldn't even trade my other AF times for it!

[Unwasted]

February Free

OK, soapbox time. How crazy is it that our health care system is such that we're afraid to use it! Sad, really. We can't get help because we know if we ask for it it goes in our records permanently. What a crock of shit....ok I feel better now.

I was less of a bitch last night, so that's a good thing.... I would still rather have bad sober days and deal with them than be in the quagmire of drinking that inevetibly must be dealt with.......

Ginger, good going on the week. Let us know what the stomach stuff turns out to be. Hopefully that's what's sapping your energy.

ML, it seems you could explain to your husband about this "getting things on our medical records that won't go away and affects everything down the line" phenomenon and the fact that many here have safely ordered from River Pharmacy so he could understand. I mean, if you're comfortable going to a doctor, then that's great. But if you're not going to go because of the record issue and you're not going to take the Antabuse, then you're kinda stuck.......Let us know how you remedy the situation. You've been trying a very long time to get sober and I know you want it, so it's a shame that you're not going to be able to get it because of your husband's inability to understand the big picture......that sort of throws you to the wind, doesn't it? I mean his insecurity about the meds shouldn't pre-empt your getting help, should it? I would just make sure he understands the dilemma. Sorry, don't mean to preach, just sayin......

SL, so how's it going? Have you racked up any AF days? Hope you can finish out February and be a Febber!

Ginger, Nora, K9 hope you guys are doing well too.

:lilheart:

[sunshinedaisies]

February Free

'Morning! Just popping in to say hi to all - ML - I am SO sorry about your Antabuse - you were SO looking forward to having it arrive and then you had hubs intercept it - I am so so sorry! Have you tried talking to him since? I agree with all the others - I think it is really bad that we are afraid of having this on our medical records - after all, if we are trying to better ourselves and get the monster off of our backs, why should we be penalized for it? It is so wrong!!

Anyway- no more time - I am early shift today and was late shift last night - doing a "Clopen" - which translated means little sleep! Have a wonderful day everyone,

Hugs, Sun XX

[Unwasted]

February Free

OK, Friday Fun Time

[K9Lover]

February Free

Hi Fab Febbers,

I hope everyone is doing well and a little less bitchy today...although if you're still bitchy, then let it out! I haven't had much to bitch about lately, but I'm sure something will come up soon. LOL They're doing fire alarm testing at work right now, so I was kind of bitching about that a minute ago. It scared the jeebers out of me and with the lights flashing and alarms blaring I felt like I was in a phsycho ward where the inmates had escaped. LOL

About the whole medical/healthcare system, yes, it is sad that we have to be afraid to be honest even with our doctors. When I first met my new, current doctor, she came into the room with her little note pad, and at the top she had written "alcoholic". At first I was a little taken aback, but then I thought "Well, I am an alcoholic". Being labeled an alcoholic has such a stigma attached to it. Appparently it's better to be a drinker in our society (?)

Every time I think that it may be okay to go back to drinking, or that I'm not THAT old yet, I'd still have time to quit later, or whatever other BS my alcoholic mind tells me, I remember this: 2 years ago a co-worker of mine died of acute liver failure. She was 37. I'd rather have the word "alcoholic" written on my medical records than on my death certificate.

Wow, okay that got morbid. Sorry about that! I hope everyone has a great Friday and a wonderful sober weekend.

Love to all!
K9

[Unwasted]

February Free

K9, I don't think it's the labeling so much as the way it increases your cost of insurance should you switch carriers....you know, they think they might have to pay for rehab and jack up your premium.

[mylife]

February Free

Hello All.

Well, I got my hubby to grudgingly hand over the antabuse. So I'm on my way!! I'm so excited - really I feel like I've been given an insurance policy or something. Yay!

I agree this medical system SUCKS! They make a big deal about privacy but really it's all out there for anyone to see. And alcoholism - just the word itself sounds so negative!! It does carry such a stigma - I really think that will change eventually as more people come forward but for now it's just not a good thing to be associated with.

Anyway, I happily popped my pill this morning and I'm zooming in on day 3 and Friday knowing that I will not drink today!

Have a great day all!

[Unwasted]

February Free

ML, I'm thrilled for you. I read so many positive posts about the Antabuse here. People like Greg, Ginger, etc. who have really turned a corner with it. Greg's posts are really detailed and talk about how he struggled for a super long time but then made it work with the AB.....you know, it just takes the mental argument out of it. Please keep us posted. So happy that your husband came around.

[NoraC]

February Free

ML - So happy for you! I hope that this is really the tool that you need to help you on this journey. :goodjob:

[Unwasted]

February Free

Nora, I can't remember exactly. Could you remind us of your Antabuse experience?

[NoraC]

February Free

UW - I had been trying many things. Tried L-Glut, Kudzo, etc. I tried Topamax. I would have some periods of AF but not long periods.
Finally - a year or more later, I was at the Doctor with my husband (we have the same Dr) and after she got done with him, I just started talking to her about Antabuse. We talked for a while and then she said that she would give me a prescription. I was nervous about it but never had any side effects at all.
For me, it just took the mind games away. The whole tortuous experience of I want a drink....I am going to drink....No, I'm not going to drink....Yes, I am going to drink...I'm going to tell hubby I'm going to drink....we're going to fight....no, I'm not going to drink........
And on & on. I did really well on it for about 3 months. Then, I guess I just wanted to drink. Because I stopped taking it. I would take it for awhile after that but I just wasn't being faithful with it. Then a few months ago, I was going to get on it again and I got hit by a deep depression. (Possible side effect and I don't know if it was from the antabuse or just life or what but I stopped taking it)
If you stick with it, it is a great tool. I was just taking half a pill every other day and it made it too easy to 'forget' to take it. Now, I am filling up my pill box with it every week so it is just routine in the morning with my other pills. I have been doing great with it this time and I just need to stick with it. I have been having a little thought in the back of my brain that hubby is going to be out of town at the end of this month and........
But, I've just got to keep taking the pill so drinking is not an option.
Anyway, that's my story. If you have any questions, let me know. Happy to help!!

[mama bear]

February Free

ok peeps...I drank last night...not alot, but I drank. I know its because I have four days off.
It's bullshit, but it's the truth
not beating myself ujo, but being honest
I swear I make it 30 days,,,,,grrrrrrr
don't be mad at me Sunni