ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

[Struggles 106]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Hey Unwasted and Juja

JUJA-I used to actually drink with the clear intention of doing do in order to say what I wanted to say to my husband. It never "worked" ; he was emotionally detached anyway and that wasn't going to change.

UNWASTED- Yes I have a bf-don't know what else to call him but after age 20 or so boyfriend seems silly. We are very different in that he is a country blue collar guy but he is the good kind. Not redneck, not any of the negative stereotypes. He is a very kind and good person. I don't care that he never had sushi until he met me, or calamari, or wasabi.
He doesn't have to be worldly; he would never intentionally hurt anyone. Unlike me not a bit of a smart ass.

Also there's a new book QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I plan to chack it out this weekend.

I got email this morning from people in the group last night where I left almost as soon as I got there, wondering if I'm "OK"--Takes a while for people to see that I'm a whole different person. She said they missed my company but it would have been loud-mouthed stupid shit so I don't miss it.

Y'all have a great Friday

[Unwasted]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Juja, my relationship has changed with my husband since I stopped drinking. It can be very strange......not sure exactly how to explain it. But, overall, everything is still ok. I can see how the dynamics in relationships change, though. If we were younger, I could see us not making it. We're older and wiser, so we get through a lot of the hard, petty stuff.

Ann, I think your BF (we could also call him your SO - significant other)....sounds wonderful. I'm with you, if he's a good person, who cares if he's worldly. A lot of the worldly stuff is overrated and ego-driven.

I've heard of the book you mentioned. As Juja says, if you listen to the "world" "they" say we must have social interaction to fare well. I think that's a gross oversimplication of how human beings "work." We're so complex, you can't just generalize like that. I'm not religious, but what was it that Jesus said......the meek shall inherit the earth. Eckhart Tolle talks about that saying.........and the concept is in Buddhist teachings too....."meek" people know how to go inward and find peace within themselves??? Just my take.

Juja, sorry you're having to start over on Day 1......and sorry your hubs leaves evil potato chips on the table.

Have a good day everyone............Ginger, Mr. G........

[MWOLady]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Interesting topic Ann. I too struggle to be myself in my own home. I find it hard sometimes to do what I want to do - which sometimes is NOTHING. I like to think. And that can be difficult with the two of us home 24/7. Beware of retirement :H

DH drinks, and I don't and yes that has changed me as a person. I don't have that horrible stress/monkey on my back that took all my energy and thought. So I'm freed up to think about life, and other important things. Scary....

Our social season won't really start up again until spring and that will be different because I really won't want to hang out with the same group - they all drink like fish - and frankly they are not that amusing or interesting when I am sober!!!!

Heading into Super Bowl Sunday....big deal...to me it means chicken wings!!! Yippee! Have a great weekend everyone. And let's eat up a storm, and drink some lovely, non-alcoholic stuff that we just love.

[Juja]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Dear Ann> Thanks for the tip on the book. I think I'll order it today. Perhaps I will be affirmed, as opposed to being viewed as odd. Also, I've known many decent country folk, and believe me, I'll take those over cosmopolitan metrosexuals anyday! Sushi-smushi! Who cares?:H

Dear UN> I'm leaning toward learning about Buddhism. For some reason, it seems like the way to go for me at this point.

Dear MWOlady> My marriage has changed since I retired. I would like to find a part-time job so I don't have time obssess over what I think my DH should be doing or not doing (my problem). I am dreading his retirement, I truly am, as I love, love, love my time alone.

I like this thread. Very thoughtful people here.

Superbowl? What's that? I detest football.:H

[Struggles 106]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

I'm going to get the book on my Kindle tonight. Introversion means less talking, more listening, and probably more learning. I hate to admit it but I find people generally disappointing. I'm sure I'm viewed as odd too, but we shouldn't care.

Chatting with 2 people today and was asked why I quit drinking-was it in the context of quitting smoking? I said yeah but I made a joke which really isn't a joke by saying I gave up
smoking crack too, all the bad stuff. Much laughter but little do they know that was true in 2010. At any rate I like being responsible,finally.

My remaining issue is 20 lbs to lose. Though I don't seem to be really big to anyone else I can tell and it bothers me. BUT I'm not going to be obsessive about it. Everything will shake out as it's supposed to. The bf fixed me breakfast this morning as he does when he's around. He cooks and cleans up and waits on me hand and foot. I must say though that I am very nice and considerate to him as well. It occurred to me that if I had treated my husband the way I treat him I wouldn't be divorced. But that would have been impossible, since he was a bit of a jackass.

Peace to all this nice Friday evening!

[GingerDust]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Ann 221;1255445 wrote: I'm going to get the book on my Kindle tonight. Introversion means less talking, more listening, and probably more learning.

I think it also means more thinking in general, I think , as opposed to reacting to whatever the stimulus is. It seems to me that introverts seem to be more introspective, and also try to figure out other people, and also try to figure everything out. That kind of brain work takes quiet time.

[Juja]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

GingerDust;1255450 wrote: It seems to me that introverts seem to be more introspective, and also try to figure out other people, and also try to figure everything out.

Which can also get us into trouble....

[Unwasted]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Ann, please let us know what you think of the book. I'm getting close to needing my next one (just finishing The Interventionist), and might get the one you mentioned - QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain It sounds interesting and right up my alley. I once read that most people mistake the term introvert as being synonymous with shyness which is incorrect. It's more the inward, contemplative nature that describes us, being content to do things alone, etc.

Juja, Buddhism has really been helpful for me in my quest to stop drinking. It helped me relax. At first I meditated daily.........bought the meditation cushion, statue of a Buddha, and some books. I have strayed from the daily sitting meditation but have been really good at the "mindfulness" aspect of it. The other extremely helpful thing I got from Buddhism is to accept that suffering is the basic nature of life. Once I did that, my perspective totally changed and my outlook on life is much better. I know that sounds counterintuitive........kind of hard to explain but it worked for me!

Oh, Ann, I get you about how you might have made it in your first marriage had you treated the ex like you now treat the SO.........I can really relate! Oh well, seems like we have to learn on one to be better to the next........ugh.........the human condition!

Ginger, I love your kitty. :lilheart:

Have a wonderful AF day everyone..........

[Guitarista]

ONE DAMN DAY AT A TIME

Hi everyone.

Never forget. We are good people. And EXTRA special when we give away the sauce. :h