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    #16
    blown it

    Its so difficult...

    kitkatsue wrote: Maxine,

    Don't feel bad I messed up last night to I had about a bottle and a half, and I went 14 days AF I was so depressed this morning and mad at myself, you see when I drink I have a tendency to call all of my friends and family and tell them how much I love them and miss them and they probably think I am off my gourd but they are always nice to me. Oh well !!!!!!!!

    You know what I am going to look at the positive, I not drinking today so I'm not on a typical bender, and I will feel good tomorrow for work and that is important. And I'm going to drink lots of water and tea.

    I guess my telling you all of that is so you maybe can feel like we can get through today together

    Feel better and take care of you!!!!

    Kitkat
    hi kitkat.Thankyou so much.Its so hard is'nt it. Tonight I bought 4 small250ml bottles of wine.2 for tonight 2 for tomorrow(tomorrow is my birthday) i am on the 3rd already.only equivelent of a big bottle i know,but still more than i intended to have. I was doin so well-6 days. now its as tho i never did it. I so want to be sober as from my birthday. I av started kudso in addition to L-Glutamine and a seretonin type supp. MWO book also on order. My God why are we so different to eeryone else...
    Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy

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      #17
      blown it

      maxineann1 wrote: hi kitkat.Thankyou so much.Its so hard is'nt it. Tonight I bought 4 small250ml bottles of wine.2 for tonight 2 for tomorrow(tomorrow is my birthday) i am on the 3rd already.only equivelent of a big bottle i know,but still more than i intended to have. I was doin so well-6 days. now its as tho i never did it. I so want to be sober as from my birthday. I av started kudso in addition to L-Glutamine and a seretonin type supp. MWO book also on order. My God why are we so different to eeryone else...
      Maxi it's rough. We all have to fight. Yes at the moment I am fighting tooth and nail. It's not easy. I could just crash and I feel at the moment it is so easy. Yes, MY weakness is the buzz. I wish I could get it other ways. The only thing I get it(this same sort of buzz) from is sexxx and my libido is sooo low maybe due to my depression or my antidepressant I can't tell just yet..............So, I'm stuck. I think I may just give in but is it worth it. Hubby may love it. I'm less inhibited when I drink but will I love myself tomorrow........:h :h :h to you. Keep fighting. I'm really trying to with you.......It's not easy. I know. Don't let your mind defeat. Remind yourself you are worth the rewards no matter what.

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        #18
        blown it

        Hi Max, Hang on in there love,

        Just H, Sorry this is a personal issue, but a few years ago, I was strong antidepressants, and the side effect of them was decreased libido ........... I hated it, It caused lots of problems at home, My hubby thought i'd gone off him etc. etc. .... It does come back though ...

        Like you said, you will love yourself tomorrow xxx

        Love & Hugs, Paula :h :l :h :l
        sigpicXXX

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          #19
          blown it

          paulaW wrote: Hi Max, Hang on in there love,

          Just H, Sorry this is a personal issue, but a few years ago, I was strong antidepressants, and the side effect of them was decreased libido ........... I hated it, It caused lots of problems at home, My hubby thought i'd gone off him etc. etc. .... It does come back though ...

          Like you said, you will love yourself tomorrow xxx

          Love & Hugs, Paula :h :l :h :l
          I do hope it comes back. I know Hubby is really trying. How long do I ask him to be patient? I do hope upping this latest med helps. When I started this med a couple of months ago my libido came back for a few weeks but then it was down hill. I hope upping it will help. I am trying to read some erotica to get my mind in the right place but we shall see.......Only one of the problems of this depressed/alcohol state to affect my day to day life........ A big part though...........Thanks Paula. I know there is light...........

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            #20
            blown it

            To all of you who 'feel' like you blown it, don't be so hard on yourselves. This whole quitting thing takes practice ya know!

            Max, look at your birthday as the last day you will drink. I think it is a lovely goal to start your new year AF! Just hang in there. If you want something bad enough it will happen with perserverance!

            Oh, and those wonderful antidepressants and all of the possible side effects! I have been on several different ones over the years and the ONLY side effect I got was NO LIBIDO........... NO SEXUAL PLEASURE.........NO NOTHING! This is the WORST side effect of them all, I would say! I haven't been on them for quite a while now - I am actually taking St. John's Wort which is just perfect for me!

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              #21
              blown it

              Hi, I really can feel for you, there are issues that we had that I cant post here ........

              You will get through it, Just be patient, I think that it's more important to get through the drink issue first, The libido will come back when you start to feel better about yourself .....

              I really do feel for you, Love & Hugs, Paula xx :h :l :h
              sigpicXXX

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