Bad times for me

[Rags]

Bad times for me

Dear Cashy,

It can be so hard at times. I slipped up last night... and a few other times, so I can relate to all the feelings you're going through at the moment. But, hey, you're doing something positive about it. Hope you can get an appointment soon with your doc. You have lots of people here sending you lots of love, so hang in there. Maybe some of us try too hard too fast and expect too much of ourselves when trying to break habits that have built up over years, then beat ourselves up when we make a slip, so try not to be hard on yourself . Be kind to yourself, and things will start to work out for you and your family.
Rags

[Waves 2]

Bad times for me

Cash, I can so relate to this. Post-Christmas Blues don't help either.
Lots of love and hugs.:l
Waves

[wwbarb]

Bad times for me

Cashy, hang in there - let us know how it goes with the doctor.

[sammys]

Bad times for me

Give it a day or two and you will feel better, at least this is what I am telling myself right now. The anxiety on top of the hang over is almost like were crazy, but I keep telling myself the booze is a despressant. I did just what you did this weekend.

Take it easy and I will too,
Sammys

[shedot]

Bad times for me

Hi Cash. well you are not alone as you know from reading everyone's replys. It seems that drinking and depression go hand in hand, or at least that's what I've gathered from reading and talking to others that over-induldge. The way you described yourself, is how I would describe myself. I'm not officially diagnosed as bi-polar, but looking back on all the years of mild highs and biggers lows, the financial dept, I've gotten myself into on those wonderful shopping binges to be followed up by a drinking binge to calm myself down. It's taken me 30 some odd years to come to this conclusion. I will be going to see a shrink soon to see if my self diagnosis is correct. I don't however, want to be turned into a zombie. I just want to be even....centered, and to have some self control. My point here is as I said in the beginning, you are not alone. Going to the Dr. is probably the best thing - it certainly will not hurt you. I'm trying to be AF for 30 days, after that I'll take the next step which I hope is AF or moderation and not falling back into that viscious cycle of alcohol....Good luck and stay in touch....

[middlepathpilgrim]

Bad times for me

Not an option

Cashy,

Didn't read through all the threads, but the "think they'd be better without me" hit a real spot for me. Felt that way all of December and into early January, but thought it was the meds that I was taking (Effexor for SAD). That said, I'm off them and probably detoxed by now. But today, the thought came again. Put it down to a bitchy day at work, premenstural, menopausal and hung over. At work, just too much chaos, too little directions and a serious short guy issue. (Figure as well as being short he has a really small dick:H . His wife's prob, not mine. Breathe deep, think big. What a schmuck! Speak your truth and if that doesn't work, kick up the caffiene and do a walk about the building. Just about five friggin' times today. ARRGH! Big breath. I'm still steaming.) Okay, my cathart.

Long story short, after numerous attemps my mom commited suicide when I was 14. Dad and stepmom died in a housefire when I was 23. Heavy drinkers all. But here's the thing: As fate would have it during my "jump off the Q bridge" last month state of mind, my girlfriend picked up my daughter (for my daugther's first time without mom or dad) from daycare whilst dad was away so I could make the house all nice for his return. My daughter made it through dinner, (called once) but clung to me once home and kept saying "Mommy, I lub you soo much. Lub you, lub you." This from the one who considers me the Evil One if I insist on basic hygeine. (She's four almost five.) Anyhoo, jerked me back into maternal mentality and took me back to that lost 14 year old I was. Today I dont' think she'd have noticed if I was in the middle of the room with a knife in my chest.

NO, Cashy, listen "NO, there is no way being without YOU is better." For anyone. (Me included, love. Believe it or not, without you, my world is diminished and I'm not in a mood for that. Period. Not an option, don't make me come find you. )

No, I'm not doing so good with the drink myself. But shit, I'm still on this side of the grass. So are you. PM me at will, I'll be checking. This might be all my stuff, if so, my apologies.

Much love,

Gloria

[just h]

Bad times for me

:h Cashy. Yes, get to a Doctor. I'm on antidepressants. I'm on a downward spriral lately mentally. Drinking seems to be a self medicating thing I do to runaway from what's bothering me or it's a release valve when I have too much bottled up inside. That's for the most part. The rest I'm still working on. You need to get your meds looked at again and tell the doctor you are drinking. I know with the stuff I'm on alcohol reduces the effect I'm taking it for. I'll be praying for you sweetie and take care.

[Cashregister]

Bad times for me

Just H.

Am always honest with my doctor - am very lucky, he's a dreat P-doc. He thinks it's mood swings and has upped my mood stabliliser. He's also said that the bi-polar can lead to heavy drinking - especially on the "up" side.

That makes alot of sense and explains why I go months without and then POW - off like a rocket.

So time to stop and see what's happening with the moods- which is a great incentive cause he is not saying "never again" kind of stuff - just need to be more aware of what's happening at any given time.

But abs for now.

Thanks

Cashy
xxx

[Cashregister]

Bad times for me

Oh and Shedot.....

I really think you should see a Dr - sounds like me - and you don't have to become a zombie - the meds can be very low doses and they really level you out when they get them right - you will need a little patience - but it's a wonderful feeling when you first experience that calm, centred feeling - for a while you can't even believe it's you - then you realise thet the "other" was never you...good luck.

Cashy
xxxxxx

[Diana]

Bad times for me

Hi Cash,
I'm new to this site and also suffer with depression which I have for many years. I only started taking medication about 4 years ago and am fairly stable. I also suffer with panic anxiety attacks but they are also reasonably controlled now. Try not to beat yourself up too much, this is such a caring group from all over the world and I know how much I have already benifited from everyone's support and sharing.
Just take it one day or even one hour at a time. Hope all goes well for you for the rest of the day

[Pisces]

Bad times for me

Hi Cashy,

Everything you said I can relate as I have done exactly the same thing, I'm on day 19 af and praying I can keep it up, stay strong, and get all the help you need.

Lot's love love and Good Vibes coming your way, Jas:l