Army Thread 12th February

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 12th February

Well what a thief I have for a son....

never thought he would do it, the other pair did..but this is now daily and big quantity....

fuck I bought a small cash box with a lock but sometimes forget to empty my purse into it....

I just found it inhis room and he said"well you never give me anything"..
what a short memory he has..!
am really fed up with all of this..
why can't life be happy..I have nothing to make me smile anymore...

depression..I suppose that's what it's called..
I wish I could go on a holiday and be on my own and not have to worry about none of them....maybe take my doggies...:l

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th February

Jan, do you ever punish ollie or scold him when he does something wrong, like stealing from you? Or reward him / praise him when he behaves well?

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 12th February

Recluse;1261063 wrote: Jan, do you ever punish ollie or scold him when he does something wrong, like stealing from you? Or reward him / praise him when he behaves well?

yes reccie on both counts....

but right now he is being a f'ing demon

I feel like go play hide and seek when I take the dogs out....and not find him..

what a fucking sort of mum am I.....

[anon]

Army Thread 12th February

Just back.
I have no pearls of wisdom to offer Jan as I find it hard to see stuff clearly in the cyber world.

I would have probably said the same as Wrecky about praise and reprimand in the appropriate circumstances.

On a more positive note I won my category in the hardest 10k ever. The sun came out and as we were high up on top of the Great Orme I could see Ireland. How cool is that.

Tabbers I loved your gratitude post and have saved it into my bookmarks.

I have to go and eat my way through a load of food and then RELAX.

I will be thinking of you Molly going back into work in the morning. I have a strong feeling all will be fine.:l

[anon]

Army Thread 12th February

Right off to get me a Ryanair flight keep my dinner in the oven.

[mario]

Army Thread 12th February

Evening.

[mario]

Army Thread 12th February

KTAB;1260925 wrote: Molly, as promised my latest ramblings, I was going to call it diary of a madman because sometimes our thinking is clearly far from sane.

Letting go.

Acceptance and denial seem to me to be key elements of moving on. How many of us have truly 100% accepted our alcoholism and let go of the niggling doubt that maybe somehow someday the clock could magically be turned back to a time when we were 'normal'?

As I see it, it is very simple, we have two choices, accept our problem, make the life changing changes necessary or continue to skirt the real issue. I have been clean now for a little while but a couple of weeks ago the friday night feeling hit and the thoughts of how nice a beer or two would be in the local and the cravings of course started. Two beers would have been nice and I am pretty sure I could have stopped at two but it would just have awoken the beast in me again and I would drink again the next day. Maybe its only me but food is somewhat similar, when I get in the mood for say a pizza or an indian meal and dont have it that night, the thought will sit there semi dormant but I will end up eating that food at some time over the next couple of days. I wonder if this is indicative of how the craving and reward centers of my brain are programmed.
Anyway I digress, I didnt drink on the friday but of course the thoughts werent far away and on saturday afternoon I was in the supermarket and found myself in front of the mountain of wine bottles, I picked one up and put it back down, I had allowed the thought to come to me 'hey about a bottle of wine to have with dinner?' I ran with it and then it came the 'maybe you should get two just in case' Then it hit me like a sledge hammer who was I kidding, this addiction wasnt going to go away, the alkie thinking was still there, the lying, the hiding the sneaky drinks were only a breath away. I stopped and bought a bottle of coke.

So I got to thinking about this, was there some part of me still clinging onto the idea that I can drink again? Obviously there is. So what do I do about it? I am back to the two choices, either I accept this or I dont. I believe it is very hard for us to accept that this is our life now and I think that is why so many here keep failing time after time, because they dont give it over totally, I am probably one of the biggest offenders.

If there is a big grey animal in the room with a tusk and a trunk it can only be an elephant. If I am still here posting on an alkie forum after nearly three years looking to help my problem drinking then I am an alcoholic, so if I am born 4 foot 6 with a one ear, green eyes and a big conk I cant change that can I? no more than I can change the fact of my alcoholism either but I can accept the fact. Ok, thats sorted, so without being over dramatic I can stop drinking or I can continue which would undoubtably take years off of my life and result in the quality of the years I have left a hollow shell of what they could be.

After true acceptance comes a sense of relief, a sense of peace and the first step on the path to gratitude for finding however we did the true escape and the right to lead a full and proper life without the ball and chain of AL chaffing the skin on our ankles.
Letting go sounds good to me, how about you?

Great post ktabs :goodjob: I let go of alcohol a while ago and it sounds and feels great.

[mario]

Army Thread 12th February

I am in work again tomorrow which is great but surprising,when things start to go to good one starts to worry, kinda.

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th February

Evening Army, how's everyone?

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th February

do u not work set hours Mario?

[mario]

Army Thread 12th February

little pink cat;1261108 wrote: do u not work set hours Mario?

Hi LPC

No I kinda work shift work,last year did a lot of nights and night overs,When they need a driver they just ask and I am forever volunteering as I dont drink which effects a lot of other drivers :thanks:

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th February

Thats good, I hope u aget a few shifts in the money comes in handy

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th February

Hiya Molly, the weekend has went well me and the mrs had a valentines weekend and went out for a nice meal and to the cinema, how's ur weekend been?

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th February

We went to see The Vow, was good, sounds like u had a relaxing weekend when u were not feeding children, lol

[mario]

Army Thread 12th February

Hi mollys & zens