I remember "loving" playing with my kids when they were small... Armed with a glass of wine...
I remember "enjoying" play-dates, but only with certain mommies.... Armed with a glass of bubblies...
I remember "thriving" on entertaining.... With all foods paired beautifully with the best matched alcohol... And of course the shots for "atmosphere"...
I remember overhearing my kids say, (and me pretending it was not important), "let's go ask Mom now, she is in a good mood"... "GOOD"?!?!
When I first went AF 2 years ago, I came across a book (not diary) in my daughter's room, she was 10 then... As I opened it I read: "I am sooooo glad Mommy stopped drinking, she is sooooo nice to me again".... I realised there and then that I lost my licence to drink in front of them, as they came to differentiate between my "good" moods, and being under the influence... They were so proud of me! And then the on and off rollercoaster started...
I have 3 great kids, now 18, 16 and 13... Clever, healthy, good looking, etc... Thank God they didn't have to rely on me for those qualities, because I was busy on another plane, pouring booze down my throat!
I decided to write this, hoping that mothers with young ones would be motivated to quit sooner than what I did! Exposing our kids to as much as possible when they are young, is something we can not catch up later with. Example: If you want your child to enjoy being in the kitchen, don't do as I did? I wanted to be alone, because that was my drinking time whilst cooking....
I look at them today, and I can see very clearly where I could have done much better... Don't get me wrong, the "world" would not easily fault them, but I am accutely aware of where my presence and interest would have made a difference in their lives... No rewriting history though! I often tell them, that they don't only learn from me (parents/friends/TV) what to do, but also what NOT to do...
This was written with love, compassion, humilty, and most of all, HOPE for all of us!
Here is to sober motherhood, ad infinitum!
Sol xxx
:h
I remember "enjoying" play-dates, but only with certain mommies.... Armed with a glass of bubblies...
I remember "thriving" on entertaining.... With all foods paired beautifully with the best matched alcohol... And of course the shots for "atmosphere"...
I remember overhearing my kids say, (and me pretending it was not important), "let's go ask Mom now, she is in a good mood"... "GOOD"?!?!
When I first went AF 2 years ago, I came across a book (not diary) in my daughter's room, she was 10 then... As I opened it I read: "I am sooooo glad Mommy stopped drinking, she is sooooo nice to me again".... I realised there and then that I lost my licence to drink in front of them, as they came to differentiate between my "good" moods, and being under the influence... They were so proud of me! And then the on and off rollercoaster started...
I have 3 great kids, now 18, 16 and 13... Clever, healthy, good looking, etc... Thank God they didn't have to rely on me for those qualities, because I was busy on another plane, pouring booze down my throat!
I decided to write this, hoping that mothers with young ones would be motivated to quit sooner than what I did! Exposing our kids to as much as possible when they are young, is something we can not catch up later with. Example: If you want your child to enjoy being in the kitchen, don't do as I did? I wanted to be alone, because that was my drinking time whilst cooking....
I look at them today, and I can see very clearly where I could have done much better... Don't get me wrong, the "world" would not easily fault them, but I am accutely aware of where my presence and interest would have made a difference in their lives... No rewriting history though! I often tell them, that they don't only learn from me (parents/friends/TV) what to do, but also what NOT to do...
This was written with love, compassion, humilty, and most of all, HOPE for all of us!
Here is to sober motherhood, ad infinitum!
Sol xxx
:h
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