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Day 9!!

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    #1

    Day 9!!

    Well I'm now 9 days AF and you would think that id be happy about it....but i miss my old friend (alcohol) and somehow don't quite know how to deal with life without it. You see i used it to block out all of my ever growing problems and now that i don't have alcohol as a crutch i have to face reality...which is scaring the s**t out of me. I have a whole new bunch of crap to deal with and its so hard....that little devil on my shoulder is telling me to just have a drink and it will go away. But iv now gotten to the point where i don't listen to him...i s'pose whatever problems i have were being made worse by alcohol although at the time i thought i was making things better.......not so...just making things harder for myself in the long run. i am in so much debt and i have alienated all of my friends through this horrid disease....i just hope i can regain some of who i previously was...i was such an ambitious lovely girl...i want her back and i AM determined to do this....sorry bout the essay guys, just had to get that off my chest

    Thanks for listening...Loves

    Lou-Lou x x x
    "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky
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    #2
    Day 9!!

    I understand where you are coming from, i was so stuck on coming home and drinking by my self i lost most of my friends who got fed up with me saying no, dont worry, I'm sure it will get better, and day 9 is so amazing, if you can make it that far you can do whatever you want. You got friends once, you can get them again! And I have also realized my financial situation more now that i am sober, although it is not horrible it is not great either, i have wasted a lot of money and i know where you are coming from, i never worried about it when i was drinking because i was drinking, now i worry about what i will pay and when, it is crazy!! But we are all in this together, and it will all work out, all that matter is that you continue to move foward, deal with the bumps in the road as they come.
    It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
    James Gordon, M.D.

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      #3
      Day 9!!

      Thanks newgrl....you really do sound like you understand. Baby steps i guess.....I'm sure (or i'm hoping) it'll all come together in the end....I want a life..a normal one, like i used to have...could beat myself up for hours trying to figure out when i changed...or should i say..when alcohol changed me!!
      Thanks for the reply....the more people i can relate to the better
      "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

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        #4
        Day 9!!

        Lou - you are just going through a bit of a reality rut right now. It will get better. Life is completely different for you now and things that were once put aside because you were drinking are now being addressed. Like your finances, friends etc.... Just be thankful you aren't homeless and starving. Alcohol purely robs you of your quality of life and wellbeing. I think you are realizing that right now.

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          #5
          Day 9!!

          and.... newgrl..... You certainly have come a LONG way just in your 5 days! If you go back and re-read your posts from day 1, you will notice a HUGE change in your attitude and outlook in life. Good for you!!! Keep being positive!

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            #6
            Day 9!!

            I like accountables post
            It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
            James Gordon, M.D.

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              #7
              Day 9!!

              we were posting at the same time accountable my first post was to your first post, thanks for the kind words! It was due to the support of people like you that i feel the way i do!
              It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
              James Gordon, M.D.

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                #8
                Day 9!!

                Accountable.....you are so right, but its so hard....i know i'm gonna do it tho..no matter what is thrown at me ill come back fighting...iv spent to long being a victim and i do not want to waste another second of my life

                Thanks x x x
                "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

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                  #9
                  Day 9!!

                  Lou that is a great attitude! It is a tough road, I know, because I am new to this whole AF game too! I just think we are truly blessed to have a place where we can come and have others help us deal with it all. I, like you, am tired of playing the victim card too. Let's just keep on moving forward. Things will fall into place if you work at it. Nothing good in life comes easy....

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                    #10
                    Day 9!!

                    Hi Lou-Lou!
                    I am 9 days AF too
                    BUT...I am also going through the same thing you are re financial stuff. I've felt great until today. Today is when I want to drink the most. I'm sure its no small coincidence that it's bill paying time, taxes are coming up, and work has been slow. So I am freaking out about the $$$.

                    I am used to paying bills and doing my bookkeeping with about 5 glasses of wine on board (and I wonder why my finances are such a mess!). I tend to bury my head about these things. Like with the mailbox. I won't look in it for a week-- becaues I don't want to see the bills that are arriving:upset:

                    Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your efforts to face reality with a sober brain. Hang in there and keep looking at your success so far. And one day at a time, baby steps

                    hugs to you!:l
                    love, Roxy

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                      #11
                      Day 9!!

                      Aw Roxy....sounds like you do really get where im coming from.....its so horrid aint it...but we have this site and eachother....so good luck sweeite keep in touch as we seem to be at the same stage with things.

                      Much love

                      Lou-Lou x x x
                      "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Day 9!!

                        I'll join in too. Finances are such a vicious circle for me. I have drunk because of money worries, but drinking has impaired my ability to handle money wisely! Ugh!

                        I understand Lou, and boy do I understand you, too, Roxy! Things have been better lately, but at the moment I'm freaking because I just lost a few clients which really adds up. I should be okay in the long run, but it is scary all the same. It makes me feel like drinking, but for the first time, I am feeling quite sure that drinking won't help in the least. Yay, one point for me!

                        Hang in there Lou-Lou!:h

                        AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                          #13
                          Day 9!!

                          That's so true, YoungAtHeart. It's amazing how we think a drink (or 10) will help when we are stressed, but it comes back to bite us in the backsides SO hard. It's not worth it - it's NEVER worth it.

                          So when I am stressed now, I always try to remember that NOT having a drink will help, not the other way round

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