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    #1

    Need Advice...

    Hi All, well last night my husband, son, daughter and mother all went to Alanon meeting. I felt very sad for some reason. I feel like such an outcast because of my alcoholism. I shouldn't feel like this, but it is what it is. I somewhat resent my husband for telling my mother, whom I really look up to, I feel the picture she has of me is shattered. She is so much against alcohol because her mother was an alcoholic and now her precious daughter followed the same road. I am just ashamed. I am glad they went but on the other hand just feel like I am the talk of the town! Are my feelings justified? Why shouldn't I feel glad that they are here to support me? Because I know they are.....I just don't know how to handle all of this that is happening to me...
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    #2
    Need Advice...

    Maybe you're upset because you're like me - you think you can handle it on your own and you aren't really hurting anybody. Now you know that your drinking is completely out there, but I'm betting that they only want to help.

    Don't beat yourself up too much. Everyone here has felt the same way - and has felt the illusion of being able to control it and then realizing that you can't. You're feelings are exactly that - your feelings. I was upset when it happened to me, but then realized that the only person I should really be mad at was me....Thoughts and prayers are with you, and you'll get through this.
    Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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      #3
      Need Advice...

      They love you sooooo much that they are willing to go there and be a help and support for, if not they would not bother!

      Keep the chin up...

      Thoughts and prayers are with you...
      Control the Mind

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        #4
        Need Advice...

        Hi shitzu
        Having other people now your dark secrets can be a little uncomfortable to say the least. For your husband to tell his mother was perhaps insensitive, but the fact that they went to the meeting shows they are on your side. Our battle with the bottle can be physically and emotionally difficult. Please remember that you are doing the right thing.
        Love and prayers

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          #5
          Need Advice...

          always like hearing your posts....so very helpful. Keep them coming!

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            #6
            Need Advice...

            Your mum probably suspected anyway and is just glad to be of help in any way she can now that it is in the open.
            Enough is enough

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              #7
              Need Advice...

              Hi Shitzu~

              I know how you feel. I'm an only child and for their only daughter to have gone down this path. My dad was a functioning alcoholic in that he never missed a day of work but drank 5 out of 7 nights a week growing up. My mother questioned why I would want the same life for my kids. Almost like I let her down which made me more sad & I drank more.

              Top it off my husband told his mother a few yrs ago when my drinking was way out of hand & of course blabbermouth mother in law told everyone else cause he has a huge family & well EVERYONE knows. So then it made things worse cause I then had to hide it & it just spiraled.

              But I see that my direct support (my husband, mother & father) are still here, not abandoning me, loving me. I know how it feels feeling like an outcast. Not so much with my direct support but with my husband's family. I think it's because alcoholism is viewed as a "disease of lack of will power", "disease of gluttony" rather than a physical or chronic disease like say cancer.

              I just say to myself: time. Time heals all wounds. It takes time to forget. It just takes time.
              :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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                #8
                Need Advice...

                Your feelings are completely justified but like the others said here you are very lucky to have such a wonderful supportive family........That alone will be a great motivator for you I am sure. Best to you.
                I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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                  #9
                  Need Advice...

                  Hi Shitzu,
                  I know that it must feel uncomfortable knowing your family is going at first however think of what they are learning and how they will learn to support you. This will be exactly what you need. You are so very lucky that they have all decided that you are this important to them that they are taking the time to help/support themselves and you.
                  Take Care
                  "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                    #10
                    Need Advice...

                    The fact that they are going shows that they are willing and seeking to understand you and themselves and to support you in this. Its a really important step. I know it feels strange/sad/hurtful now and it must be hard for it to be "out there" but imagine - you have the support of your whole family firmly behind you. What a gift.
                    Hugs
                    Jen
                    Over 4 months AF :h

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                      #11
                      Need Advice...

                      you guys really bring tears to my eyes...I AM blessed with a great support team. Just need to figure it out on my own I guess...

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                        #12
                        Need Advice...

                        You are so very welcome. We are just happy you are here.

                        NP
                        "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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