Is this my Imagination or what?

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

K9Lover;1271244 wrote: Hi Tips!
You sound great! I can't pinpoint exactly when my mind switched, but I know it was gradual. When I first quit drinking it was begrudgingly...like I knew I should but I didn't want to. Then of course I tried to moderate (as every good alkie does), and well, we know how that turns out. Then I white-knuckled it for a week every now and then, but I was still miserable! Finally, finally (thank God!) I am at a point where I do not feel deprived, but rather grateful, that alcohol is not a part of my life. It does NOT happen overnight, nor does it usually happen on our first (or 40th) attempt...but if we hang in there, it DOES happen eventually, and it's so worth it.
I'm proud of you for how far you have come. Keep it up and stick close to us!
K9

Thanks K9, you know I now realize that virtually no one is successful on their first attempt. It's something we should make sure the Newbies know. That repeated failure is a real set-up for eventual success. I am close to the finish line but not rushing myself. I LOVE how disinterested I am now in topping up my glass. I used to glare at the person I was sharing the bottle with if I found they had more than their share. Now the hand covers the glass and I say "I'm good." and I AM. I am proud of you two and wish you continued success.

[choice]

Is this my Imagination or what?

:l Thanks Tip. No I don't see a glass of wine or two as a slip either. I think that is social drinking or normal. Labels are tough in this kinda discussion. I call my slip a slip because I got drunk and had a hangover but more so because I drank because I felt really bad about myself... and just threw in the towel... I was unable to ride out a craving and really did not want to drink but did it anyway... I did it as a method of self destruction and suffered. I think you are SO right about the slips being an important part of learning... and plodding along. I think your a success because your able to stop before getting drunk and are handling peer pressure on your terms. It's like you are re-training yourself to drink responsibly. well done.

[bouchard01]

Is this my Imagination or what?

Tipplerette;1271285 wrote: The slips are an important part of learning. I don't consider a glass of wine a slip as I am not doing the black/white thing. What I consider a slip is getting drunk and having a hangover. I swear that is something I am beyond. I has become automatic for me to switch to lemon water or tea when partying with friends after a glass or two. I often don't drink when everyone else is. The wine pushers (one in particular) are all over me when I don't drink and it used to embarrass me. Now I just laugh as they get blearyeyed and I stay sober.

We are not perfect but plodding along with the help of everyone here. Stay true to yourself and you can't help but succeed.

I love this Tipper!!! I have a trip in a week & I'm going to keep this in mind :thanks: I've been stressing now I'm going to remember this. :thanks:

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

I am on my way to spend the weekend at a cottage, four-wheeling around the trails here in Quebec and drinking is a big part of the evening activities. I may have a glass or two of wine but after that I will be having my tea and it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. It is what I want to do..

Hate to be Polly Positive but this morning it occured to me that lately I have been steadily drinking less, eating healthier, exercising more, getting outside more, taking better care of myself, etc. I am not where I want to be by no stretch of the imagination but I am slowly heading in the right direction. I guess I am paying attention to the quote at the end of my signature.

This isn't the way I envisioned changing. I envisioned a sudden euphoric revlelation that would change my life. Rather, I have just veered in a slightly different direction without hardly noticing it... I like the scenery on this route. It sure beats lethargy, apathy, dehydration and being comfortably numb..

[scottish lass]

Is this my Imagination or what?

You go Tip! This discussion is helping me so much. I need to do a look back, but I joined in Feb 2011, got supplements in March and if I go back and look at that 12 month period, I have come one heck of a long way - and if I stop beating myself about my slips, and see just how many AF days (will count up later) and what I have done (lost weight, started gym program which i have stuck at for over 6 mos, eating better etc) - I HAVE SUCCEEDED - and if i keep on this track I will do just fine. Not a total miracle, or a total success, but nearer than I have ever been - and that is just fine by me!
Thank you Tip!
Enjoy your weekend, you deserve it!

[drinkingal]

Is this my Imagination or what?

Tipplerette you post is really inspiring! I will definitely be ordering this book too. I don't like the term "alcoholic" or the assumption that alcohol is a lifelong struggle because it's like saying to myself - you're a victim, you're powerless etc.

It sounds like you have the control over your drinking that we would all like and you can put it down after a couple and not get drunk, and alcohol isn't a part of your daily life. :goodjob:

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

Glad that this thread is helpful. Got back from the weekend and definitely drank less than I normally would have. During the day we rode the four wheeler through beautiful snowy mountains and it was wonderful to be outdoors. The other lady kept herself fueled on those alcoholic coolers throughout the day. I didn't really feel thirsty and when I did I drank mint tea which makes more sense. It's very cold -20 celcius out there and she's drinking ice cold coolers. Anyway to make a long story short, I have noticed that even with my successes at slowing down, the days I even have one or two I lose my desire to exercise. This is problematic as I am 55 years old and the only way to keep strong is to do a little something physical every day.

I am going to go out on a limb here and try to get 30 days under my belt. I leave for vacation on April 5th and the advantages of staying A/F between now and then are enormous. They are:

1. PRIDE in the accomplishment
2. WEIGHT LOSS for the two piece outfits I hope to wear at the pool/beach
3. EXERCISE which I will enjoy doing if I am not drinking
4. GOOD EXAMPLE for my kids
5. HEALTH - we all know this

There are countless other advantages but finally achieving this illusive goal would be HUGE. I have spent the last few weeks really observing myself and my friends in our social interactions and feel that I have enough wisdom under my belt to move forward with this challenge. I also have a few non-drinking friends that have entered my social sphere. The stars are aligned and this woman wants to spend the rest of her life getting enlightened, being a sober sounding board for others and learning new skills. All of this is possible.

So, I`ll surf the urges tonight and take one day at a time. I promise to come back here and report my successes and possible failures.

Day one not putting ethanol into my body.

[drinkingal]

Is this my Imagination or what?

It sounds like you are now "ready for the next phase" and that's your elusive 30 days AF. I've been on a similar journey, never managed 30 days af in the past so decided to stop beating myself up and retrain myself to drink less. I still have a very long way to go to where I am heading (I'm not even sure I know the final destination) but progress in any shape feels good all the same. Good luck tipplerette, you can do this!

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

drinkingal;1273153 wrote: Tipplerette you post is really inspiring! I will definitely be ordering this book too. I don't like the term "alcoholic" or the assumption that alcohol is a lifelong struggle because it's like saying to myself - you're a victim, you're powerless etc.

It sounds like you have the control over your drinking that we would all like and you can put it down after a couple and not get drunk, and alcohol isn't a part of your daily life. :goodjob:

Thanks for the compliment but if I really had it under control I wouldn't still be fretting about it. I have managed recently to limit my intake but ultimately i feel that thinking about booze on a daily basis is a huge waste of valuable time. That's why I still want the monkey off my back eventually. Like you, I am celebrating my successes and forgiving myself for my failures. I do think I am ready for phase two. Walking the Walk instead of Talking the Talk.

[sunshine_gg]

Is this my Imagination or what?

Good luck with your 30 days Tippy... and VACATION??? What the heck is that!? :H

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

It's really a HONEYMOON. I am getting married in 2 weeks.

I promised I would post whether I failed or succeeded. I am going to write down the situation that led to my caving last night. No excuses; just want to see it in it's full cycle.

A.M. Decided not to drink.
4:00 pm
Made the marinade for chicken wings
Took wings out of the fridge; they had spoiled
Called hubby and suggested we go for Thai food
He agreed
6:00 pm
Got to Thai restaurant where they make delicious food and lemon grass tea
I wanted tea with my meal and so did hubby
He wanted one glass of wine also
He was about to order the one glass and checked once more with me
I said "Order 1/2 a litre as I won't be able to watch you drink" This said after a 2 second debate in my brain.
Waitress came and hubby asked me "Tea and 1/2 a litre of wine or one litre of wine?"
I said "I don't care."
Waitress said "She doesn't care."
He ordered the full litre of wine and we shared it with crispy beef and chicken pineapple curry

The fight in my brain was non-existent. So now I have drank for about 5 nights straight. How's that for improvement. Of course I was awake in the middle of the night feeling guilty but physically just thirsty. Another thing I noticed is at one in the morning when I try to talk it through in my mind, my mind short-circuits. In other words, one thought occurs and as i attempt to continue to have my inner discussion, I lose my train of thought. Thanks ethanol.

This morning I am back here wishing I hadn't drank. I only weigh 125 lbs so half a litre is a lot of wine for me.

So here I am on day one again. I guess I will set a goal of seven days. It seems more attainable than 30 days at this point. I am going to my 80 year old uncle's for supper tomorrow night and he loves to have a glass of wine with me. Every time I turn around there is another reason to drink. I know it's the same for all of us. What a battle to give up the only drug in the world we have to explain not taking. I guess I'll just say "Been over-doing it lately." He'll understand.

I hate the fact that i have no backbone. I am a little like that in life too. My kids and hubby can talk me into just about anything. I cave for candy, I cave for cake and I cave for wine. I want to reach somewhere deep inside myself and gather the strength I need to say NO happily and confidently.

Enough blubbering. Day one of seven.

[Nelz]

Is this my Imagination or what?

Tipplerette;1275150 wrote: It's really a HONEYMOON. I am getting married in 2 weeks.

I promised I would post whether I failed or succeeded. I am going to write down the situation that led to my caving last night. No excuses; just want to see it in it's full cycle.

A.M. Decided not to drink.
4:00 pm
Made the marinade for chicken wings
Took wings out of the fridge; they had spoiled
Called hubby and suggested we go for Thai food
He agreed
6:00 pm
Got to Thai restaurant where they make delicious food and lemon grass tea
I wanted tea with my meal and so did hubby
He wanted one glass of wine also
He was about to order the one glass and checked once more with me
I said "Order 1/2 a litre as I won't be able to watch you drink" This said after a 2 second debate in my brain.
Waitress came and hubby asked me "Tea and 1/2 a litre of wine or one litre of wine?"
I said "I don't care."
Waitress said "She doesn't care."
He ordered the full litre of wine and we shared it with crispy beef and chicken pineapple curry

The fight in my brain was non-existent. So now I have drank for about 5 nights straight. How's that for improvement. Of course I was awake in the middle of the night feeling guilty but physically just thirsty. Another thing I noticed is at one in the morning when I try to talk it through in my mind, my mind short-circuits. In other words, one thought occurs and as i attempt to continue to have my inner discussion, I lose my train of thought. Thanks ethanol.

This morning I am back here wishing I hadn't drank. I only weigh 125 lbs so half a litre is a lot of wine for me.

So here I am on day one again. I guess I will set a goal of seven days. It seems more attainable than 30 days at this point. I am going to my 80 year old uncle's for supper tomorrow night and he loves to have a glass of wine with me. Every time I turn around there is another reason to drink. I know it's the same for all of us. What a battle to give up the only drug in the world we have to explain not taking. I guess I'll just say "Been over-doing it lately." He'll understand.

I hate the fact that i have no backbone. I am a little like that in life too. My kids and hubby can talk me into just about anything. I cave for candy, I cave for cake and I cave for wine. I want to reach somewhere deep inside myself and gather the strength I need to say NO happily and confidently.

Enough blubbering. Day one of seven.

That right there is WONDERFUL thinking, break it down into as small a piece as needed. Its what helped me get through. When the urge hits.....tell yourself.......I dont drink....then re direct. I found myself breaking it down into chunks of minutes at the very start.

Keep telling your AL brain, that you do not need the AL it thinks it does, and "eventually" it will start to believe you....I promise this with all my heart. Its not a whoa is me, why cant I drink.....just a very quick....I dont drink.

Dont romanticize what you remember about drinking.....it probably wasnt as great as you thought. Romanticize just how much better you will look and feel without AL in your life.


Wishing you extra strength, strength vibes, to get you past the first few days, so you will feel successful.

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE CONTINUED SUPPORT i GET HERE. I wouldn't even be taking me serious at this point.

It is wierd how one can go from being totally commited to not drinking to saying yes please in a nano-second.

I make myself sick sometimes. I don't respect myself when I cave in.

Today is a new day. Thanks Nelz. I can hardly wait for one of your stars that I truly deserve.

[LibraryGirl]

Is this my Imagination or what?

Good morning Tipple.:l I agree with you, the support here is phenomenal! I could look back over my posts, over the past 13 days and say, wait, is this woman bi-polar???:H It must just be a facet of quitting AL. Because I'm right there with you hun.:h

I've not drank in 13 days, but the ups and downs, the mood swings, the cravings, the raging, it's all been a part of my life lately. Thank GOD, I have MWO for support, and you do too.:goodjob:

[Tipplerette]

Is this my Imagination or what?

hey Library Girl, I have been following you and the anger is rearing it's ugly head, eh.. sometimes I think I will get very angry if I ever let it out. I am really passive and NEVER lose my temper. Maybe the alcohol has been my way of supressing my anger. As of yet, I don't know cos i never stop long enough to find out.

We'll see if this time it's different. I am routing for ya Library Girl and very proud of you for reaching 13 days. That is fantastic.