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16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

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    16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

    Morning all...Sunday the 21st here in Kiwiagogo land, after yet ANOTHER restless night...much tossing and turning of the melonhead, only to wake up fully at about 3:30 am, as has been 'normal' for the last few weeks....!! (I am starting to look more than a little like B Karloff esq. in the 'Mummy' with all the zed deprivation...)
    Have just read an interesting post from yesterdays MA board by Accountable, regarding the old grey matter turning to cotton wool, and feelings of irritability!!!
    Then read a post by Sea breeze, which said that when a person goes AF, the brain reverts back to the age it was when you started drinking.!!! I have read this somewhere before, and wondered wot on urf the author thought they were blathering on about...but my own AF experiences are starting to back this information up only too heartily...Accountable, I have not noticed anything untoward in your attitude when reading your posts, but can empathise fully with the feelings...AF has been a funny time for me, and I would love a bit of feedback if possible.
    I am now on day 44 of AF, and have found myself becoming increasingly irritable and slothlike..I really need to be on my own most of the time for some reason, and as this is impossible in a teeny tiny open plan house with the hubby and the Mother in Law, I have become irrationally fond of sitting in my bedroom for hours on end, just coming out to make tea, or smoke, and saying as little as possible to anyone else...ANY kind of noise seems to sound like a fanfare in the old shell likes...tv...dog barking..hubby and MIL chatting, all seem to be amplified tenfold ....I wait until they go out...and encourage them quite forcefully to do so, poor buggars, and only then, will I feel ok about coming out and doing my housework...the second I hear the car pull up into the drive...I gallop back into le chambre again toute de suite....
    I started drinking when I was 15 or 16...and really do feel like a spoilt demanding lazy teen all over again!!! I don't feel the urge to shake my head morosely to the gay trillings of Maralyn Manson JUST yet, but am definitely noticing many similarities between my feelings and subsequent behaviour....everything is NOT FAIR...I am so HARD DONE BY...everyone else has it SO much better....and yet I know damn well that things are no different for me than any other buggar...I have my share of ups and downs, but no worse than others have to deal with on a daily basis...I coped a lot better, and was a lot more organised when I was drinking...I DO NOT want to drink again...this is not the issue, I have come off the baclofen as it was making me even tireder, and am now using just the l glut, and am VERY happy to be AF, but really need to sort out all this other stuff.....I don't like feeling like I have to keep myself shut up all the time, because of my irritable, aggressive feelings...this is not part of my moving forward plan...Anyone else out there have anything similar, and could offer any advice about useful supps or practices???? Ta muchly...
    Weegrumpymelonhermit xxx

    #2
    16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

    Hell there my poor Weesweetteenagermelonhead,

    Having read your post had you considered the possibility that you may be suffering from a weemelon bout of depression??? The isolating of yourself, the not wanting to talk, funny sleep pattern etc. Might be worth popping in to see the greengrocer, oops, sorry meant doctor, just for a check-up...
    Love to you ,
    from Louise xxx
    A F F L..
    Alcohol Free For Life

    Comment


      #3
      16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

      Yes Oirish...that had crossed my melonmind, but wondered whether it was a normal part of AF, so I didn't have to take more tablets

      Comment


        #4
        16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

        Hi Melly,
        Well I haven't felt like that since I have been AF, but I have been depressed about three times during my life and I felt like that then... God I was so depressed at one time I couldn't even talk to myself so I knew something was wrong then....If you went to see the doc though it may not result in tablets, perhaps if you could speak to someone qualified in counselling people with depression it may help????
        A F F L..
        Alcohol Free For Life

        Comment


          #5
          16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

          Hi Melon,
          Is it possible that now that you have had a great bout of abs that you have clarity and need to address some things outside of your drinking, ie hubby, home life etc, things that were cloudy before? I have never been abs as long as you so maybe I am talking out of my arse but when we drink we really don't deal with real emotions. Irish is right maybe a doc visit will do you some good.

          Good luck and I hope you get some melonsleep soon. :h
          Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

          Comment


            #6
            16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

            YES...campy happer...I have noticed since AF that all is not quite right in the melonworld...I used to be so consumed with guilt over my drinking, I would fail to see many other problems in my homelife that were not always of my doing...you are right, these are now starting to become apparent.....and are beginning a whole new whirl of thoughts in the fruit head, that are confusing and sometimes...quite devastating...A lot has gone on that I have never seen through the alcoholic fuzz...I guess there are many aspects to this thing that I need to be thinking about....
            Thank you muchly to you and Oirish for your time......two very helpful things to address for me I think!!!

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              #7
              16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

              By the way Melly, I don't want to add to your woes, but, ARE THESE TWO RELATIVES OF YOURS ?????



              Attached files [img]/converted_files/178793=408-attachment.jpg[/img]
              A F F L..
              Alcohol Free For Life

              Comment


                #8
                16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                Weemelonhead...

                Your posts are usually so positive that when i read this just now i was instantly worried about you .....

                As the others have said, I don't want to to worry you but it could be depression, I've been through it myself and for me the antidepressants worked, so a visit to your doc may help ....

                Please dont worry but most important, LOOK AFTER YOURSELF .......... STOP WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE .....

                Take care, sending lots of love & hugs your way, Paula :h :l :h :l
                sigpicXXX

                Comment


                  #9
                  16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                  Everyone is making very good sense here weeone. I would be quite keen to see you look into this a bit. Will you?

                  Love ya lots Miss Melon!

                  Kathy:l
                  AF as of August 5th, 2012

                  Comment


                    #10
                    16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                    Just posted a reply to all of these and then it disappeared....???
                    Thanks for all your concern...I don't know why I posted this really, as I know that the only person who can pull me out of this is me...and although i like to just use this board for booze related issues, I don't have anywhere else to go with personal stuff.
                    We have been in NZ for 3 years, but long work hours and huuuuge renovations on our shack of a house have meant that I have very little free time or energy, and have no close friends here yet......so sorry guys...I dumped it on you....
                    I have been depressed before...majorly, but this is different, and has been buiding steadily since I started AF...it is all about the problems in my homelife that are now very apparent when not hidden by a cloak of vino....there are many things i have to deal with, but the tangle is looking very complicated...i am trying to pull one end at a time, and sort each issue out, but they intermingle so...each one seems joined to at least 3 others, and the melonbrain can't seem to find a practical answer to any of them.....Time is also a big issue...I need to sit down and really work things out, but real life essentials get right in the way...I have been posting less lately, and trying to use my little free time to get myself into the 'groove' so hopefully, i'll get a handle on it slowly....thank you for your kind words and your shell likes:h...onwards melon.......forrard march/roll xxx

                    Comment


                      #11
                      16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                      Melon...... Just promise me that you will look after yourself .....

                      PLease take care love, We Love you ..... :h :l :h :l
                      sigpicXXX

                      Comment


                        #12
                        16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                        Hi Weemer,

                        (and commiserations on unearthing those two extra relatives, hope they don't expect to be put up for free!)

                        I can really relate to the experience you describe. I'd also read that about reverting to the age you were when starting drinking, and it keeps popping into my head too. I am definitely quite sulky and uninterested in things, just like a teenager.

                        I think it's really true about the "masking" by guilt ... I thought once I stopped drinking I could sort everything out. But now I realise that the problems that were there are actually quite different to what I thought was there.

                        Guess it's going to be once of those "peeling the onion" type processes... onward ho!

                        Gem x
                        Free since 26th February 2012

                        Comment


                          #13
                          16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                          Melonhead;

                          Hang in there the mood swings get better. If you go back to the month of (maybe May-July) I posted alot of things about my mood swings. Partly do to going Abs for a few months and partly because I hated everything around me. I hated sounds that normally don't bother me...ex. the cat, the sound of hubby's voice, the sound of the telephone. I thought I was going to loose my mind.

                          Right now I've been working on Moderation, but since last week (b'day Jan 9th) I've only drank twice and I feel like I need to stay busy every second.

                          Stay strong!

                          Brandy

                          Comment


                            #14
                            16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                            Hello Wee.
                            I can see that the proverbial onion skins are starting to come off in your case, hence the depression. We think that AF is the cure all, but the drinking was just a symptom of underlying problems that were never addressed. Some of them are too painful and for some of these problems there does not seem an immediate solution.
                            I know all about that depression thing. It was always so much easier to drown myself, then to deal with the issues.

                            I recently have turned into somewhat of a sloth. I am now allowing myself to take time for painting, reading and coming on this site - in short, I have done piss-all lately. I am self-employed and if I don't change my evil ways shortly, I won't be eating or have a roof over my head in a few months.

                            Take it one day at a time, and please you can share with us and we are all here for you, just as you are here for us all the time.
                            Love Lori
                            *Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert Einstein

                            Comment


                              #15
                              16 years old??...oh NOOOOOO!

                              Hey Wee--

                              You CAN come on here with personal stuff; a lot of us do! Also, yes, it's up to you to get yourself out of this, but if you reach out, there's a lot of waiting hands to help you to help yourself. I really encourage you to keep talking to us. I won't say that we can take the place of a professional or medication if you need it (and I can't make that judgment), but I can say for myself (and I imagine for others here) that we are willing to listen, and we care about what is happening with you, both in your life and in your head.

                              So, weemuddledupandstayinginherroomtoomuchexcepttosmok eaciggieone, please feel free to talk to us at any time, okay?

                              Hugs and more hugs,

                              Kathy:l
                              AF as of August 5th, 2012

                              Comment

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