MARCH MOTIVATORS

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello Marches! I'm in for an AF March and on day 15 here.

Wow - so much activity already! I'm so excited to see all the old and new faces. Actually I think I've seen all of you on one thread or another - so I'm really happy we're all here on the same thread!

Sunshine - this post by Mohun describes a feeling of depression around the 3-6 month mark. I've marked on my calendar to expect that when I get there...and I will eventually! https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ml#post1238219

I'm finally rounding the corner today of not thininking about AL so much. It's starting to feel "normal" to go home and not have my old enemy AL there waiting for me - or stopping by to pick up that bottle on the way home. I'm really excited and hope this trend continues - for me the worst part has been the mental yammering....

Hope you all have a fantastic AF day!

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

ML and Choice - so glad you guys joined this thread. It's a great group of people so far and I think we'll be a big help to each other this month!

Choice, I'm sorry to hear that you went that long and then drank - that has to have been disappointing. Maybe it solidified your commitment, though? It's crazy how we can forget the negatives and still drink after that long. So you'll be our beacon of "watch out this too could happen to you" okay?

ML, how's it going with the Antabuse? Obviously you're still taking it and remaining AF. I think I read though that you're struggling with the mental craziness of the "having lost your best friend" syndrome. I can SO relate........but it does get better. Oh, the link to Mohun's thread - I post that all over the place (the actual post) because I think it's one of the best things I've read on MWO. Thanks for adding the link here.

Anyway, glad you're both here. WW, I like your idea that maybe we're getting as hooked on being sober as we were on drinking! Wouldn't that be fantastic! I think it can happen, I really do.

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Wow - hooked on Sobriety - I like that!

UW - Antabuse has been a lifesaver for me. It's really just been the thing I needed to get me through the first couple of weeks. I went through about 7 days of euphoria with initially quitting and then about 7 days of "why me, poor me, pour me a drink" thinking. If it weren't for the Antabuse I can't say I would have been strong enough to survive those days.

Anyway, today I'm feeling a lot better and really happy to be here and AF. The great thing about Antabuse is you take it when you're at your strongest - in the morning - and it's there for you when you're at your weakest - for me about 5:30 pm - 7:30 pm. However I have to say today I really haven't thought about AL that much so I think the habit of not having it in the evenings is starting to kick in for me and it doesn't seem so odd anymore.

[choice]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Thanks unwasted:l Your words are so validating. I don't mind being a beacon. If something good can come out of it. The slip really has solidified my commitment... which I thought was already made of stone. I kept crying looking at the bottle and knew I should pour it down the sink. I'd pull it down from the shelf.. put it back up. I really respect my addiction more then ever at the moment. When I started here I had a real simple rule. No alcohol in the house. I didn't trust myself. Because I'd been sober so long... I thought I could handle my guests leaving beer in the fridge or wine here.. etc. For the most part I think I have "other people/ peer pressure" in a good place. It's a new issue that has been there all along that I really wouldn't look at. I think I'm strong enough now to tackle this. I drank because I was in pain. The emotional pain of not feeling like I am loved or that I deserve love. Deep down I think I'm bad, not good enough etc... mainly because I'm not perfect. It's very self destructive, and really drove my alcohol abuse. All of this I know is rationally false.. but I've got to heal from my old thought patterns.

I'm kinda excited to deal with this so it doesn't ruin my life. As I work that through probably on a couch in a doctors office... I can tell you that it is VERY important not to become too complacent and to stick to your plan or simple rules. Like if you don't have AL in the house keep it that way.. or pour it out when your strong and remove any temptation... don't wait to be tested. Also I probably should have been logging in here more during all of February.. even though I had significant AF time.... there was a lot of stress (good and bad) of my alcoholic family coming into town.. lots of old drinking buddies.. no one put pressure on me but seeing it.. and no longer being a part of it was.. well... I needed my support network and I took my long AF time for granted. :thanks: for listening.

[Running4life]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Unwasted and all:
I am thankful you have started this thread for March and for your post about the stages of recovery. I am AF for four months now but I am experiencing a flatness that I haven't felt before. This is the very thing that can lead to the magical thinking, romancing alcohol and relapse. I have spoken to the doctor this morning and he says it is normal and that I am now aware of the things that are not good in my life and if I stay AF I will likely develop the courage to change them.
I sure hope so because I was hoping quitting AL was the answer to my problems. It was just a start.
Anyway, I will stay the course!
Hope you all have a wonderful March! We are on the last leg of winter and headed into spring which is a time of renewal. I am looking forward to warmer days, budding tulips, daffodils and green grass.
Take care,
R4L

[scottish lass]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Joining the MM's - hoping to have an AF March, didn't quite manage February. The thought of a new month and a new try managed to keep me driving past the stores on the way home and dash inside, bolt the door and start the month!!
I am looking forward to the company and the support that will be here.....

[poppykin111]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Unwasted,

I am in too, can't believe I got through Feb without a drink and I am so proud. I feel so much better and I am also sleeping like a baby!! Life is so much better being AF. It still has it's problems but they are easier to manage and it is wonderful waking up and not feeling like death. I am also mindful of slipping because I never want to return to hell again.

[sunshinedaisies]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Morning everyone, well after three hours sleep, I am up - closed last night and open today! I am feeling better though!! I would love to respond to others posts but due to time constraints, can't right now..... just know that I thank all of you that responded to my post yesterday - it really helped and made me think. I am also going to look out for more times like this - but I really am feeling better today and was last night for some reason!! Will post again later today - have an awesome AF day everyone!

Sun X

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

SL, Poppy and R4L, welcome to the thread. Of course, I remember all of you from other threads and am thrilled that you'll be posting here!

R4L, I'm just coming up on 4 months, and I remember being right behind you in days. I too have times of that flatness feeling you describe - I call it flatlining or ennui - it's not depression, but just kind of a blah feeling. Sunshine Daisies was talking about it yesterday. It's good to know it's normal, and I think your doctor is right on about our just needing to learn to deal with things without the numbing effect of alcohol. And, I think that it's good for us all to post and talk about it here - work through it by "journaling" or posting. We can help each other through it. I'm actually thinking of going to an AA meeting. It's so not me - the religious aspect of it, the public nature of it.........but I just want to see what it's like. And, I want to see if I can meet some people who can relate to what I'm going through. I can always just quit going.........the 12 step thing doesn't appeal to me either.......yet, I want to try it for insurance - and being around others I can relate to about not drinking. We'll see. If I go, I'll be sure to post about it.

Scottish Lass - do you have any plans for making it through March? I really hope you can do it, and we are here for you. Let us know how we can help! You've made some pretty good chunks of AF time, though, haven't you?!! Do you know what happened in February? Remind us - I think you quit posting for a while so I don't remember the details. Maybe there wasn't even anything specific. Anyway, let us know.....:lilheart:

Choice - your story is amazing. Thank you for sharing it with us here. It sounds like you have a handle on things now, though. We will look forward to hearing more. I think you're really lucky that your husband isn't drinking - that would have to make life so much easier!

Poppy, you're pretty new to the site aren't you? I remember some of your other posts but not your whole story. I think it's amazing that you made it through February and are on to March. That's wonderful. Can you tell us what worked for you? Did you mainly rely on posting and reading on MWO?

Sun - I'm glad you're having a better day. You know, I think it was Byrdie on the Newbie thread who said something like - we rarely have two bad days in a row - That seems pretty true for me. If I just hold on, something changes and I feel better the next day. Do post when you have more time. And, be careful about not getting enough sleep - that's a huge problem for me. If I don't sleep I'm almost always kind of down or depressed the next day.

ML, I'm glad you got over the bad feelings you were having and that the Antabuse is working for you. I always try to remember to just ride out any of those down days because I know that drinking helps absolutely nothing. Good for you, and so happy that you made it! Antabuse is brilliant if you think about it - helps us get through those moments since we can't drink for a very long time after quitting it......Please keep posting about it and how you're doing. Ginger, I don't know if you're still posting here, but you too are taking AB, and I think you're doing very well with it too. As you guys know, I have a supply of it and intend to take it for "tricky" situations including vacations.

OK, guys, let's try to be thankful for the abundance in our lives. I feel so fortunate to be healthy and have the good life that I do........Take care everyone, and have a wonderful day - we don't need alcohol to make our lives whole....we can do this by finding other things to fill the void whenever we feel it. :lilheart:

[BlondeAFAmbition]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Marchers! Happy Friday! Just flying by to say hello before I dash off to work. Make it a great day everyone and have a super sober weekend! PEACE!

[WineWrangler]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good Morning Everyone, wishing everyone an alcohol free day and weekend. Im out to try and catch some sunrise photos, check in later.
WW

[Snapdragon]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi everyone - hope you don't mind me joining you - and thank you Winewrangler for inviting me

I'm just on day one - but it's fantastic to read how well you are all doing and how positive you all are - so I hope some of this will also inspire and rub off on me too!

Sun - I was interested in your post about feeling a bit down and wonder if you have tried taking Omega 3 fish oil supplements? I suffer from winter blues and generally feel really down for a couple of months around December and January when it's cold, dark and dreary (in the UK anyway!). I read up a lot on the internet about studies proving that Omega 3 can dramatically improve feelings of depression and started taking a double dose of Cod Liver Oil a day about a month ago. It may be just co-incidence, but I'm feeling a lot more positive about myself and life in general - which is why I feel ready to tackle a new AF life at last.

Looking forward to sharing the journey with you all. :thanks:

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello Guys!

I woke up in the middle of the night - something I haven't done since drinking days. But I did and just picked up Jason Vale's book and continued to read. I found myself thinking I was SO HAPPY to be AF and drifted back to sleep. I really am feeling happier and happier with this choice and I really feel like I could make it a way of life.

UW - I also thought about going to an AA meeting again. I actually did that once a couple years ago at the advice of a counselor when I first thought I had a problem...anyway, it didn't work for me then (obviously) but I think I got too "religous" about it - trying to go every night and "work the steps" and "find my higher power" etc... My counselor advised that they can be a bit "cultish" at times and just to select a meeting you like and take what you need from it. In my area there is a women's only meeting on Weds nights and I think I would have been better off just attending that one now and then. It really was nice to talk to people who could relate.

SL, Poppy and R4L - nice to see you here!

Sunshine, Blonde and WW - happy to hear you're doing well! WW - post a couple of the sunrise photos!

Have a great AF day all.

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello Snapdragon! XPost! :welcome:

[Ishybit]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello Everyone,
i would like to join the March AF journey. I have racked up some days through Feb but I have had a couple of slips. I would like to start fresh here.
I went to a few AA meetings several years ago. The first one I went to was an all women's group, there were only 4 others there at the time. I felt sooo exposed and raw and there was nothing anonymous about being there. I cried through the whole meeting. I'm not sure that AA is for me but what I did find was that everyone was incredibly supportive, welcoming, forgiving and nonjudgmental.
I think the key is finding the right group. I think MWO is the right group for me now!
Thanks everyone, Happy Friday.
Ishy