MARCH MOTIVATORS

[BlondeAFAmbition]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Motivators!

Sailing through a sober weekend and enjoying every moment. So much better than if I were waking up with that typical Sunday hangover from sat night's "wrath of the grapes!".

UW-thanks for sharing your AA experience. I would be interested in seeing a meeting...not sure if I will take the first step though. I am more interested in the online: Women in Sobriety. Anyone a member? I would love to learn more about it. Was on their website and I really got into the principles. Seemed to fit me pretty well.

Off to work in a few but just wanted to see how you were all doing through the weekend! Enjoy your Sunday and stay strong!

[WineWrangler]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good Morning, Isn't it nice to wake up Sunday morning with a clear head!!! UW sounds like your making every effort you can to maintain your sobriety, congratulations. It's its eye opening to finally figure out why our lives were so difficult while drinking, anger, irritable, anxious, financial management, the list goes on and on. Well I out to drive tractor in the vineyard on this beautiful day (going to be over 70 degrees here today).
Happy Sunday Everyone WW

[sunshinedaisies]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good Morning everyone. UW - so pleased that your AA meeting went well - it did sound as if you were lucky with your group - that is awesome. I would like to find one but here it is definitely a no-no.

Choice - I understand how you are feeling, although I don't have the anger thing. It takes a LOT to get me even mildly worked up. I wonder if you are feeling cross because you slipped and deep down you are really mad at yourself and we all know how it comes out at those you love..... My hubs has started drinking again - he had that slip about a week ago - and said it was going to be it. well, guess what? he is still drinking but I am not supposed to know. He smelled so bad when he came to bed - in the middle of the night, but was so noisy that it woke me up (I pretended to be asleep) and I could smell it on him. I do think he will be hungover today but will make out he just doesn't feel well - he is not letting on to me that he is drinking and I am not sure how to handle it. I don't care. It is his choice. And seeing the way that he was, and the way that I know he will feel today makes me SO pleased I am not drinking anymore. I woke up today and as WineWrangler said - it was lovely to wake up with a clear head and get up and start the day feeling good.

Windy - welcome - great to have you here. This is such a great thread - we are all here for you and really supportive. Most of us are approximately the same with our sobriety - more or less I think - well, the outer limits anyway!! We are here when any of us encounter problems - it is a good feeling!

Running - so pleased you took your tab and yes I so agree - I would have wanted to 'join in' too - but know also that it wouldn't have been just one drink - so I could NOT have joined in. I think once we get over that, it is okay. But hard initially.

Hi Allswell and Blonde - hope that you have a great weekend - Blonde I often work on a sunday so feel for you :l

Gingerdust - I did laugh at the cars in your town, not being parked at the AA place but being parked at the Adult Bookstore!!!! I think I would rather have mine seen at the AA meeting - LOL

Mylife - maybe it is just emotions that it is bringing up - could be.... just hope that it hurries up and gets it over with! I am usually such a happy calm soul and find the down days so hard to deal with. anyway I am back where I need to be and feel good, still AF - the odd thing is when I quit for the 8 months, when I started again, I went back to being what I considered was 'how I should feel'. Which is how I am feeling now - minus the AL. So I am hoping that this time round this feeling stays.

Westies - how are you doing? Check in and let us know won't you....

Everyone - I know I have missed some names - getting too many to name you all - which is wonderful - I love this thread! have an awesome day,

Sun X

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good morning Marchers!

Wow, I'm here a little after 9:00 a.m. my time and this place is already hopping on a Sunday morning! I love reading these posts - and I was reminded to pop my 1/2 antabuse. I now tak 1/2 pill every other day. Is it strong enough? I don't know. Will I test it? NO WAY! So it's strong enough for me!

Choice - I'm so happy for you that your husband went AF. I have heard many women on this site trying to stop drinking while their husbands were still drinking daily and I just shook my head thinking that would be impossible for me! My husband will still have the occasional glass of wine at a restaurant, or a cognac with a cigar but really he forgets about drinking for weeks and sometimes months at a time. Even at restaurants he'll order tea often. So I'm really lucky that way. As for the temper tantrums, I have had those on and off with my hubby especially in the early days of quitting where everything is on my last nerve. I've had to catch myself and really work on it several times and start asking myself "why am I feeling so angry about this?" It's hard but I hope it will becom easier with time.

R4L - I don't know how I'll feel at the next social event with no wine....hopefully there won't be one too soon as I'm not sure how I'll feel about it. I did notice last night on my walk lots of people sitting out and enjoying glasses of wine and I did feel like I was left out or something. Not in the mainstream of things. But I also played forward in my head what I'd be doing - looking for more wine and focusing only on the wine - if I were drinking and I know I don't want that either.

UW - I'm so happy you had a good experience at your meeting. I do think I'll definitely get back into a group at some point as it is good to have face-to-face people to share these feelings with. You seem really committed to your living your life sober now, and that's a wonderful thing.

Welcome Windy! Nice to hear from you!

Have a wonderful AF Sunday all!

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Blonde WW and Sunshine !! Cross post! Glad to hear you're all well! I took to long to post and missed you guys!

[GingerDust]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi R4L, allswell, Windy, Blonde, Sun, Mylife, and everyone I undoubtedly miss or will miss. Happy sober Sunday! Just a quick post before I have to do a million things.

Unwasted;1273977 wrote:
Anyway, I'm going to keep going because it was such a relief to be around people who understand this struggle. I think it may have been the best decision I could have made for my long-term sobriety.
That's a neat story. It's strange that I kind of dread going, but when I do, I always leave feeling better, more connected, not so alone.

Choice, I find myself getting cranky with my husband in the evenings. I don't think it's lack of AL so much as just being tired. But without something to numb the irritation, I'm biting my tongue, sometimes not successfully. I find Sleepy Time tea to be a bit helpful, and I take baclofen as needed to keep my emotions more level. Also, eating well helps a lot but often I don't have the time or the energy to make a good meal. It's hard to find that balance.

WineWrangler;1274007 wrote: Well I out to drive tractor in the vineyard on this beautiful day (going to be over 70 degrees here today).

Sweet! That sounds like a lovely way to spend a Sunday.

Hang in there, everyone, and have a good day.

[fennel]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Morning, motivators! Went out to dinner with friends last night to one of my favorite swanky restaurants. Once again, I was fine without cocktails and wine, and enjoyed my food- something I never thought I'd be able to do again.

I don't know why things are different this time, but I'm going with it.

[choice]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Everyone :h

Ginger, a light kinda went off when you said a drink would numb the irritation.

Mylife, the question "Why am I so angry at this?" I think will help a lot.

Sunshinedaisy, I think your right that unfortunately I am taking my anger out on him. I think it's really positive that in your situation you are looking at his drinking and just happy your not suffering through a hangover. I think that is the best way to keep yourself separate and remain proud of what your doing. Isn't it funny how bad alcohol can smell when you aren't drinking? I am really glad my husband decided to be AF.. and I only think it happened because he decided on his own. He did it for himself. Since your husband is kinda hiding it (not very well) I think he is working something through and is trying to be respectful and not to be in your face about it. Before my hubby quit I sorta just had faith that he would quit and kept that to myself. Someone in MWO related our quest to stay AF in drinking situations as "putting on your oxygen mask... on an airplane" That's always stuck with me.

Unwasted, yes, I am really interested in seeking help at this point regarding my anger, and where I'm at with my sobriety. Like how I use to get depressed.. drink.. swallow my anger... now not drinking.. is turning into a bad temper. Some of the anger may be deep and some may be just as Ginger kinda stated an irritation. Or just tired. It wasn't that way the first year and 1/2 sober.. I think because I quit smoking, lost 40 pounds, and was planning a wedding. Now.. things should be (perfect).... No more weight to loose, no addiction to address, and I don't have to worry if anyone will marry me anymore. Perfect, so why am I angry? Probably this is text book. For so long I could rationalize all of this... now my emotions are catching up... so in a way this is an exciting time.. the first year and a half sober was working so hard to stay sober and change my life. Now I can pretty much trust I'll stay sober.. so I can learn more about all the why's. Why I drank in the first place before I became addicted and lost control of my life. In the next part of my journey, I'm going to try and learn how to identify my feelings better. Am I really angry or am I just annoyed.. am I hungry? dehydrated?? Really, I just use to think.. "I need a drink" and hold out any emotion.. including happiness for most situations. So this is new. I got really good at surfing the urge. I didn't really deal with anything just knew.. I can't drink, so I didn't. It really works. I guess I'm just adding another tool to my tool box at this stage. Just typing this post I'm feeling much more hopeful.

I don't know how many people have heard of HALT? But it's one of the things that has really helped me when I'm struggling to understand when a craving has come out of the blue.

H- hungry
A- angry
L- lonely
T- tired

I have a tendency to over think things and HALT keeps it simple for me and while I don't understand exactly why... it can keep me sober. Since I'm on the Angry issue.. I'm thinking it's too big right now to deal with... It's just too much and I need to breath a little. SO, baby steps, I can work on calming down so I can handle the emotion easier. Not sure if that will work but worth a try. :thanks: for listening and hope everyone is doing well :h:h

[sunshinedaisies]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Morning everyone - I woke up feeling hungover this morning! Too much cookie dough and too m,any cookies - but better that than AL! I feel great otherwise and had a good weekend. hubs is definitely drinking again big time - but I am not supposed to know - STILL - I don't mind - it really is his choice, and when I quit, I didn't ask him to quit - he decided to stop as well after he saw I was serious about it. I will mention to him in passsing that I do know he is and that is fine with me.......yes Choice - it is like the airmask thing isn't it? One good thing is, that seeing him drinking is a good reinforcement for me not to! I feel for him knowing how he will feel the next day. I wake up with a clear head - unless I had too much cookie dough - LOL

I had vaguely heard of the HALT thing - but as I have hardly any cravings as such, haven't really paid attention to it. I will however, keep it in mind as things can sneak up on us when we are least aware of it. I think it was UW who posted about the 6 months to a year being the vulnerable time - I started again last time after 8 months. I should have listened to the HALT thing. I was bored - not that that is in there, but it would have been good to have stopped and thought about it.

Mylife - for me, an 1/8 of a pill every other day would be enough for it to work for me - if it was in my system, I would not drink. Period. So I know where you are coming from!

R4 - we tend not to socialize so fortunately don't have that hurdle to go over. I am not sure how I would be but hope I could be as strong as you were. It must be difficult. As for folk sitting out enjoying their glasses of wine - that is where the romanticizing of AL comes in! One leads to ...... how many? Not so pretty then!!

I guess you are all right in that we need to watch our emotions and identify them and see where stuff is coming from. It has been so easy to use AL in the past, and my body was so used to it. I think my downer of a week or so ago was my body adjusting and I must remember that next time - I am through it and feeling really good again.

Everyone - have an awesome day - I am getting ready for work. Back later to see you all!

Hugs, Sun X

[WineWrangler]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi, hope everyone had a great weekend. UW keep up the efforts, sounds like your doing really well. K9 hope the new washer got installed and you have some clean undies for the week. Sunshine, this issue with significant others continuing to drink is a difficult one, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. Sense I have not been drinking (65 days), I find the smell of alcohol very repulsive. Not that I mind others drinking within reason, its the smell that bothers me. I find myself sending more time by myself working, fishing, taking photos and doing a lot of thinking. Have a great day everyone, off to meetings in the City this morning with a clear head.
Thanks WW

[GingerDust]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Morning motivators.

Part of me feels bad for saying this because I know other people are struggling. I have struggled to, for decades, and I want to feel free to talk about it. This time quitting is very different, and it is amazing to me. Not being able to drink on antabuse, knowing that any drink I could have is at least a week away, has changed everything for me.

I was in liquor store Saturday pm. I was picking up soda and cigs and my hubs bought a six pack. He's been AF with me, without me asking him to, and I did not care if he wanted a few beers on Saturday (I would care if he got plowed because drunk people are kind of disgusting). I also did not care that I was in a liquor store. That struck me as odd. All the times I've done 90 meetings in 90 days, and all the other crazy hoops that I've jumped to be AF, I always felt very uncomfortable walking into one. I felt guilty and endangered and like I was playing with fire (which I was). This time I looked around at all the bottles and was struck by how much I really did not care about them, about where I was, about drinking or not drinking. I didn't care.

I don't feel great all the time, I have ups and downs and angry moments. Since I haven't been able to fix those feelings with AL while on antabuse, I have stopped thinking about AL as a feeling fixer, and I stopped craving it. I guess the times that I've tried to quit before, the biggest hurdle for me was always thinking about drinking. No matter how much AF time I had, no matter how good life was going or how bad, the thought of drinking always haunted me. Even when I had several months sober, my scumbag brain would torture me with thoughts of drinking. Antabuse brought all that to a screeching halt, and I'm amazed.

I think the other saving grace for me is that I can be really impulsive, especially when I feel desperate to change the way I feel. I remember at one point having several months of sobriety when we had a death in the family, and there was a nasty crisis at work, and my husband and I were tangling, and I just said "screw it" and drank. If those same events were to happen today, my next drink would still would be at least a week away, so I would not have that split-second option of saying "screw it" during a bad moment. Looking back at that dark time, I think having that week to process everything, to come to terms with it all and to consider the consequences of drinking again would have changed how I reacted. I am sure that at some point during the week of waiting for my next drink, I would have changed my mind and made the split-second decision to swallow a pill. Then my impulsive mind would have worked in my best interests and I might be sitting her now with several years of sobriety and all the good things that not being a drunk brings. I wish I would have known then what I know now about how freeing it is not to have drinking as a choice.

Anyway, still good here. I'm tearing my kitchen apart, so it is a wreck. Somehow the chaos has spread to the rest of my house and I'm suffering a terrific lack of order. I'm buried in work. Everything is displaced so nothing is where it should be. Any little thing I need, like scissors, requires a frustrating search, usually accompanied by some colorful words. We had a vehicle break down on Saturday, and it has to be replaced. We can't afford it, and I'm really worried that we will run out of money and won't be able to finish the kitchen. Living without a kitchen is NOT fun! But it's still good. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and I'll get through it one way or another without losing my sanity and without reaching for a bottle.

Keep on marching motivators. Let's keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm sure this path to an AF life leads somewhere good (even though I've never been there as an adult), and we'll all get there if we keep our eyes on the goal.

[K9Lover]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Marchies!

Wow this thread is busy, that's cool! Back at work after a busy weekend, I went to see the play Little Women yesterday, then out to dinner at a new restaurant, well they call it a "Tavern"...so most people there were enjoying a glass of wine or beer out on the patio overlooking a creek. Part of me felt that pull of the alcohol, for about 5 seconds, then I didn't even think about it again. Those days are over for me. I spent a lot of time studying the people that were out on the patio with their drinks in hand, I mean I really LOOKED at them, and I could tell the very heavy drinkers, they just stood out. There were a lot of people there that had that "look". Of course there were a lot of younger people there too that haven't gotten to that point yet. It just made me realize how happy I am not to be a slave to alcohol anymore!

Hope you're all well today. Stay strong and remember how much better life is without alcohol!

K9

[mama bear]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

thx for the reminder K9...so true

[allswell]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

I'd be one of the patrons at the tavern constantly looking for the server because my glass was always empty. I couldn't enjoy the company or conversation, just preoccupied with getting another drink. Glad those pathetic days are in the past!

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello Motivators!

Just a late post here - I had an incredibly busy and stressful day at work today and I have to say I really craved a glass of wine (or 10) at the end of the day. Luckily it's not an option - as Ginger said it's at least one week away. And I thank my lucky stars for that week!

Ginger - thanks for the great post. It's funny, I'm not bothered by the liquor isle in the grocery store here either - I haven't been into a liquor store, but I'd feel the same. It just is NOT an option now, so why bother staring at it and wondering "should I???" Because the answer is just plain NO - you CAN'T! I really look forward to the day I just don't think about AL anymore AT ALL!!! I'm over it!

K9- I have seen those people and I know exactly what you mean!

Mama, Alls, WW - glad to hear from you all and hope you have a great evening!