MARCH MOTIVATORS

[Running4life]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Everybody:
Sunshine, don't sweat it, slips happen. My doctor says that once you quit and have a significant taste of sobriety you will never drink the same. "You will have a belly full of boose and a head full of AA", is his quote, which I take to mean a head full of guilt.
Last night I almost caved. I forgot my Antibuse for a few days and had a very rough day. I found out hubby has been up to his old habits and is cheating again. Took a 26 year old out to dinner. Stupid old man left his hotmail up! He has a serious addiction problem too. My thinking is how do I abandon him
if he has not abandoned me over the drinking. (I think his problem is much worse quite frankly).
He was seeking treatment but started to get busy and ignore his program. I don't think he embraced it fully in the first place.
I took one sip of wine and then spit it out. I started thinking about how guilty and rotten I would feel in the morning and that the problems would still be there. I also remembered how hard it has been to quit and my four and a half months would be down the toilet.
This morning I had a serious talk with myself and took two 250mg pills so there will be no argument now. I really need to have a clear head.
I am planning to run 14 kms with a friend this afternoon so that should be a much better stress buster than drinking.
Sooooo glad I did not drink. Phew!!!!!
Take care everybody, have a great weekend.
R4L

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello All!

I've been hanging around moping that I had to work today. I didn't sleep too well last night due to all the things I had to get done today. I did go for a powerwalk this morning, though and I'm feeling pretty tired right now - so hopefully I'll sleep well tonight.

Running - I'm sorry to hear about your hubby. Mine's been on a rampage as well - not cheating but just being irritating and selfish most of the time. But, I have to agree with your doctor - now when I even think about drinking it's with the knowledge that it won't solve anything and will only make things worse, so what's the point? Good for you on staying strong and sticking with your sobriety.

Jane - I am with you on the motivation thing. I just can't get motivated! I did go on a diet - I just had it with not fitting any of my clothes and I've been on a low carb diet for about 1 1/2 weeks. I felt so much better at first but today I just feel like there's nothing fun in my life at all right now!! LOL. Anyway, I keep popping my 1/2 antabuse every few days. I am so terrified to try drinking on it that if I took 1/2 a week ago I'd probably still be afraid to drink! In my mind I'd have to wait at least 2 weeks. And I'm very happy for that.

All in all, I'd rather be in a grouchy mood and not be drinking. I'm very grateful for every day that passes without a drink.

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

R4L, my hat is off to you for being able to put up with what your husband is doing (I think). Sorry but I'd probably kick him out, period end of story. But you're the only one living your life so..........I would just want to kill him. Good thing you're not drinking, you might get the kitchen knife out. :H:H Seriously though, if you can go through that sober you can do anything. And, as you so wisely said, if you drank, it would solve nothing and then you'd be dealing with the mess with a trashed brain.

Jane and ML, for what it's worth I was a little dumpy yesterday. Then, the two meetings today........they got me going a bit. But, all in all, I was glad I went. There's just something irreplaceable about being in that room with those people who get it. There's a sadness to it too, though, so I'm still assessing. And, of course, every meeting is different. But the way people reach out and make me feel welcome is truly remarkable. They invited me out to eat but I couldn't go today -- however, I'm going next week. I really need a group of friends who don't drink and it looks like I've found them. I don't care if they're like me or not - I just need help so I don't go back to the vortex.

Sending everyone big hugs and love. :lilheart:

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

UW - glad to hear your meetings went well!

I was thinking I just need to find some activities to fill up all the time I used to spend drinking. I've been mulling that one over.

Have a great AF evening all!

[daisy45]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

RunningFL, sorry about your situation, but really well done on abstaining - 'a belly full of booze and a head full of AA'- that is the best line I've read in a long time. It describes exactly how I feel when I drink; and it is so true that I didn't feel that way until I got 3 months sober and seen what life could be like. I'm surprised your doctor is so understanding - maybe has been there and done that...anyway, hope things get sorted for you.
Jane, hang in there.....when the going gets tough, the tough get going....you'll come out on top!!!
Day 7 for me today and still feeling pretty good. I let things get so bad this time round that with each sober day I am feeling more and more relieved to get a piece of the real me back, bit by bit.......

[allswell]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Sunshine, glad everything is where it needs to be. Running, bad day for sure. You'll figure out and do what's right for you. Kind of bumming today too. Beautiful sunny day and stuck doing a bunch of unpleasant work tasks. I thought about who I know who does not drink and I could not count one person except my sister who lives 500 miles away. Unwasted I can really relate to the AA part about being with a group that gets it. Even if the whole program isn't compatible with our thinking we can still take what works and leave the rest. I'm going to check it out at some point, I need to stay away from people who drink, simple as that.

[NoraC]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hello everyone. Haven't been around much. Glad to see everyone still here fighting the good fight. I did get up to my old tricks while hubby was away. I felt it coming on and certainly didn't fight it. Actually, i was sick with a sinus infection/bug while he was gone so that added to everything. But, I pulled myself back up & got back on the antabuse.
UW - I have gone to a few AA meetings. I did find a Women's Meeting that I enjoyed. Others I just weren't comfortable at. If you can find a few meetings that you like, that is great. Good to make connections.
Ok - just wanted to say hi. Have a great rest of the weekend everyone. :h

[choice]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Everyone :l It feels too hard to catch up with everyone but I just wanted to say hello. Just got back from our weekend away and it was nice to be by the seaside. I didn't think about alcohol, or my slip at all so I think I've gotten over it and have moved on. Running4life, I think what you said your Doc said about having a significant time of sobriety... would cause one to never drink the same again.. (or something like that) rang true with me.. If I hadn't of had a chunk of AF time I may have just fallen into it all again, but because I did, and because I've set up my life to be an AF life... when I slipped it was just that.. and I'm feeling stable now. Support group in MWO is amazing.. I can only imagine how AA would be. Sounds amazing to be around real life people who "get it" UW. One last quick thing... Sunshinedaisy.. so glad you kept posting and are back on track too. I felt like a hypocrite too when I had been posting to new people a day before my slip to trust it would get better.... etc..then wham.. I gave in ?? It's very confusing to me that, that happens... maybe it is what UW talks about, with forgetting pain.. that makes since. At the end of the day,,, I think that's why we are all here.. for support when we do great and for when we struggle...

[Running4life]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Daisy, my doctor really has been there and done that. He is an ex addict or something. He mentioned this to me one day. Not sure what his poison was.
Went for a stress busting 14 km run today. It helped clear my head.
I am still trying to decide what to do now. It is very complicated to just leave unfortunately.
I am hoping that not drinking will help me make some smart plans.
I plan to go to a an AA or Co-Dependents support group meeting on Monday. I don't feel so alone after I attend a meeting.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hey guys! We're almost 1/2 way through the month. Happy Spring Ahead day! Have a wonderful Sunday to everyone!

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good morning all!

I feel SO much better today. I think I needed a good nights sleep and I got it. I didn't even mind daylight savings so much LOL. It's much easier when you're not hungover! 4 more days and I'll have achieved my first 30 days (again). I'll really start celebrating when I hit some new milestones because I've made it to 30 before and then gone back to drinking. This time I don't plan to go there again. One thing I need to do is live in the present. I noticed I tend to "anticipate" how things will be and feel discouraged by it. For instance I have read some people who make it to 90 or 100 days and feel great and hardly think about Alcohol anymore. Others are still struggling and when I read that I find myself thinking - what if this never gets easier??? What if I pine for Alcohol the rest of my life???? I have to catch myself when I do that and just focus on today. That's my thought for today!

Running. I really feel for you - I don't know your full situation but I also feel cheating by a spouse is intolerable. That being said - I'm in a long term marriage myself and I KNOW how daunting it would be to think about just "leaving". It's not that simple. I wish you the best and send you strength and prayers. :h:l

Blonde - nice to hear from you! I drank some Jamacian Blue Mountain coffee this morning!

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Sunday.

[sunshinedaisies]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good Morning everyone! I do not like putting the clocks forward, and when I leave for England tomorrow, they change theirs the weekend I am there so am having to do it twice!! I should be able to post while I am there so won't be off the radar completely - come back the 26th March.

Running - as Mylife said, I too, am in a marriage of 30 years and can't imagine what I would do if I went through what you are going through - a tough time for you. My heart goes out to you and how you must be feeling. :l

Have a ton of stuff to do today getting ready to leave - still feed rather subdued from my faux pas of the other night but will bounce back I am sure. Now I know how SL feels about posting!! Have a wonderful day everyone - back later,

Hugs, sun XX

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

A quick stop by for me today. Lots of good stuff going on here everyone! Have a super AF day - Sun have a safe trip! :lilheart:

[scottish lass]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi all, Happy Sunday - Sunshine, i think there are lots around here who do the roller coaster before actually being able to totally hang in - thats what I see and it gives me hope that each time I get stronger and more resilient - no matter how many times I slip and feel guilty for doing so, I have to realise that I am so very much better off than I was a year ago, or have been for many, many years!
Jane - glad you found your way here!
Running - so very sorry - I left my husband last January, and it has not been an easy journey at all - we were married 17 years and had been together for 25. We have two wonderful girls, who have been effected by my decision, but I had to come to the realization he was not going to change and I had to self preserve. You will know what the right thing to do for yourself and the right time, but I do have a bit of an idea as to what you are going through - ensure that you take care of yourself.
Working this weekend, have been reading thou not posting my. Hang in there to all the other marchers!

[WineWrangler]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Everyone, didn't have time to even consider drinking this weekend, worked two 14 hour days back to back. At $95 bucks an hour. To think of the time and money I'v wasted on booze in disgusting.
Hope Everyone had a Great Weekend WW