MARCH MOTIVATORS

[allswell]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Definitely very important to talk and let them know that what they see is not "normal". When I was in high school and I would come back from summer break to find out who was killed in car crashes where drinking was involved, or go to the parties and see the fights, see the cops showing up, waking up the next day feeling like shit, the DUI's everyone was getting - I somehow thought this was all a normal part of growing up. Maybe ,when I was younger, it might not have stuck initially if someone told me all of the dangers but it would have certainly started registering when I began noticing all of the bad happening to everyone I knew.

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good morning all!

I'm awake and it still feels so early from daylight savings - still dark at 6:30...? But on the plus side I took a walk at 7pm last night.

Sunshine GG posted on another thread that she popped an antabuse the other day as she could feel herself beginning to slip - she's nearly at 6 months. I'm keeping those posts in mind so that I don't let my guard down on this quit at all. I have been enjoying some time here with no urges to drink and I'm really enjoying it - but I know they can pop up out of nowhere too.

K9 - good for you being honest with your kids. My dad was an alcoholic and went through periods of years sober during his adult life - but he never discussed it with my sister or myself. We saw him relapse after years sober - and then get sober again - but he never talked about it with us. I think looking back it would have been so helpful. Especially since we lived with him during our highschool and early college years.

Alls - I completely agree that it's treated as almost "normal" to drink and drive as part of growing up! We have a lot of highschool kids in my neighborhood and there have been at least 2 fatal car accidents involving drinking. It's so sad!

Anyway, I'm off to make some breakfast. Hope everyone has a good Tuesday!

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good Morning Everyone,

ML - I have a hard time getting used to the time change. I do like the extra light in the evenings but wish they could just leave it one way or the other. I guess that somehow wouldn't work over a long period of time? Anyway, it is nice to be able to walk after dinner, which I also do pretty regularly too.

In reference to you comment about Sunshine GG's post, it's kind of disheartening in a way to think we might still want to drink six months down the road. For me, I think all the hard work I've put in will keep me from doing anything stupid. I don't ever want to have to go through this again. I think that's why I'm pursuing AA - not for the philosophy of it so much, but for the lifelong commitment to not drinking. I ended up not going to the Saturday meetings because I just couldn't get all my house/cooking stuff done, but I'm going to go this coming weekend. I don't want to have to start over again EVER.

This conversation about alcohol is interesting to me -- that no one ever talked about any of the downside. My dad was a raging alkie - scotch in his coffee in the mornings on the weekends. I don't think I ever remember him NOT drinking. Still, not one word of warning from him or my mother......weird, isn't it? I'll never forget how shocked I was when I started trying to quit and couldn't. Really I had no clue (or if I did it was deeply repressed) at how addicted I was. Oh well, I sure know now.

K9, I think it's great that you can be honest with the young people in your life. I wish I had had that. And, like WW said, if we can help even one person avoid the hardship we've had with drinking, we should do that.

Allswell, isn't that crazy - that DUIs and deaths from drinking were just the norm? I remember seeing some 60s singer (Grace Slick maybe?) being interviewied about drug overdoses. She said people actually thought it was cool when people like Jim Morrison died - like some badge of honor...........Crazy! Tell that to his family, right?!

I don't know if you guys read it, but they think there's a phenomenon known as the "kindling" effect which explains why it's harder to quit the more you relapse. It has to do with brain wiring and neural pathways. I guess you keep rekindling and the path of addiction can't burn out -- you keep the embers going and that path gets even stronger when you start/stop over and over. That's one reason it's so helpful to come here........there's always a reminder of how easy it is to pick up again.

You know, I feel really lucky to be on this new path. So many people never wake up (or can't?). We should be really thankful that we're making it. When I contemplate going back to the horrible rut of drinking it feels like a death sentence -- not in the literal sense.......but just that never-ending cycle. I'd much rather have the occasional "euphoric recall" about alcohol than to get back to that!

Well, I guess that's all my rambling for this morning. Have a great day everyone!

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi UW - I didn't find Sunshine GG's post disheartening. I think that there will always be times in our lives that we will wish we could have a drink. For me, the key is having tools and committment not to go there. Obviously it's way better now than in the early days of breaking the drinking habit - but I expect the desire to flare up from time to time. I think I'd rather be more realistic about it and be pleasantly surprised than expect it to completely go away and not have that happen.

Anyway, it's funny about this non-talking thing. I really think in our parents era they just didn't know that much about alcoholism. My Dad did go to AA on and off for years - but that was another funny thing - I think he took us to one meeting once on family night or something - and it was never discussed again! Anyway, he was the worst example of an Alcoholic - days of binge drinking from morning to night and then detox and sobriety - for various periods of time. It ended up costing him everything of course - family, home job etc.

I agree though it's great to be on the right path. I think as we stay sober we'll come accross many others who have chosen this path. I'm thinking now of a neighbor we had years ago who said he had decided to quit drinking when he turned 40. (He was probalby about 55 at the time). He didn't go to AA or join any group or anything - just said he had enough and quit. I bet there are a lot of those out there - and I think at the end of the day it's a personal choice that we make about how we want to live the rest of our lives.

So there's my ramble!

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

I think that there will always be times in our lives that we will wish we could have a drink. For me, the key is having tools and committment not to go there. Obviously it's way better now than in the early days of breaking the drinking habit - but I expect the desire to flare up from time to time. I think I'd rather be more realistic about it and be pleasantly surprised than expect it to completely go away and not have that happen.

ML, I totally agree. I don't find it disheartening either, but thought you might. To me it's like going to the hospital for an operation. I would much rather know the particulars rather than be surprised by them later!! We're lucky to be able to observe others paving the path! :lilheart:

[GingerDust]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi all. I've been busy, as usual. Living AF, which has become the new normal for me. I like it much better than the old normal! :H

It's good to talk with kids about drinking. The thing is though, I knew. I'd seen in family members and I knew how bad it could get. Knowing was not prevention for me. I don't know what would have been or if anything could have been.

WW, I've noticed too that other people aren't drinking nearly as much as I thought they did. They also don't notice that I'm not drinking. It's been interesting to see how I deflected my own obsession with AL onto other people.

K9Lover;1282762 wrote: Hi Kids!

Her ride home flaked, so I went to pick her up...it's SO nice to be able to get in the car at any time of the day or night and drive. Last year at this time, I would not have been able to go get her!!
I have had a couple of episodes like that too. It's been wonderful to be able to be there when people needed help. It was nice to be able to just hop in the car at 10:00 p.m. and drive to Dairy Queen for a sundae. So many hours of every day were off limits due to my drinking. I might as well have had a second job. At least that would have paid instead of cost money!

mylife;1283151 wrote: Good morning all!

Sunshine GG posted on another thread that she popped an antabuse the other day as she could feel herself beginning to slip - she's nearly at 6 months. I'm keeping those posts in mind so that I don't let my guard down on this quit at all.

Me too. I'm expecting that it will be two years before my brain abandons the "AL is a quick fix" path. That path is pretty well worn in my case. It may actually be paved! :H

I've been doing new things, working on new thoughts and approaching life in a new way. It's good for the most part, fleeting moodiness aside. The ups are more frequent but more subdued. The downs are not so frequent and not nearly so far down as when I was drinking.

I had an odd, very vivid dream. I was seeing my son as he was as a toddler. He was so cute, and bratty, struggling to get off my lap. In my dream I realized that that child was long gone and that a 30-year-old man stands in his place. In my dream I felt a keen sense of missing that little boy, a heartbreak that he was gone and I'd never get him back. I woke up and knew that the dream was somehow about AL. I'm OK with it. It was odd and it was intense, but it was somehow good. I can't explain it except it felt like a part of myself that I'd buried was coming to life again.

But, that's enough strangeness. I hope everyone has a good and sober day!

[K9Lover]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Marchies!

I was thinking about how I talk to my young people so honestly about alcohol and I wonder if there's a flip side to that...they see now that I'm doing very well and maybe they will start to think "well she drank for a long time and was able to pull herself out of it, so I can always stop later too". Maybe I am overanalyzing this. I feel the same way about life in general, sometimes we as adults make it look so easy that kids have a false sense of how much hard work life really takes (paying bills, cooking, cleaning, keeping the car running, balancing a budget, etc., etc.). They think that right out of high school they should have a car and a 3 bedroom house and money in the bank. My sister and I have talked about this and have decided that we are both just too efficient for our own good, we make it look too easy. LOL J/K

My daughter is going to her first counseling session today and I'm nervous...I hope I am not the topic of her stress. I may or may not find out...I won't ask her what they talked about, that's her private business.

I posted in the Nest that I had a weird dream last night too, that I was back on DAY ONE with the anxiety and white-knuckling sensation and dread of spending my evenings without alcohol. Anyway...I was relieved to wake up on day 85 and never want to go back to day 1 again!!!

I hope you all have a good day, and I hope I survive my daughters session tonight. LOL

xoxo
K9

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Nice post Ginger. Good to see you here again.

well she drank for a long time and was able to pull herself out of it, so I can always stop later too

K9, that's a good point - I guess it could go that way too. I think talking to them is about all we can do, cross our fingers, and hope for the best.

Hope your daughter's session goes well.

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi All,

I just ate a sugary coconut thing at work because I was feeling tired and sorry for myself. LOL. I have been really doing well dieting lately so I guess I'll allow that slip - I don't want to substitute one addiction for another, but if I have to choose AL is the thing that will go.

K9 - that's great your daughter is seeing a counselor and don't be nervous. Even if they did talk about you it would be in the positive context of your recovery so you can give yourself bonus points for that!

Ginger - you have a valid point. Especially when we're young I think a lot of us felt so invincible it didn't really matter what any "adult" would have told us. However, it can't hurt to try.

Hope everyone has a great day.

[allswell]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hey Everyone,

Today was a rough, pressure packed day but didn't at any point feel like a drink was the answer. It feels like everything is clicking and after two years and four quits I'm really achieving separation. I think about it occasionally but I don't crave it and the idea of throwing away all of the momentum is not fathomable. The antabuse also arrived today, everything is in place to kick it to the curb so to speak. I'm really starting to feel free at last!!!

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Wow Allswell, I could almost have written your post. I'm about a year and a half and this is my third quit. And, whenever I have something come up that would normally have put me back on the alcohol track, it's not an option and I don't think of it as one. Now I think of alcohol adding to my problem not helping it. I feel committed this time and really before I was always full of self pity about not drinking. I'm so happy to feel like this right now. I think we're in exactly the same place.

ML, I can't seem to get away from the sugar craving. But then I loved candy before I started drinking, so I'm not sure why it's so terrible. I know everyone says it is, but I'll take it over AL any day. I do hope to cut back eventually, but it's such a comfort at this point in time.

K9, Ginger and anyone else stopping by, have a great evening. :lilheart:

[Unwasted]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good morning everyone - looks like I was last out and first in today.

Wow, what a dream I just awoke from: I was going on a trip and someone mentioned an extra security process we could take before getting on the plane. I don’t’ remember why this was supposed to be better, but I elected to go that route. After finishing, I rushed to leave the security area and someone poured me a glass of red wine. I was going to take it and then changed my mind. I ran for the plane but it was taking off. Without hesitation, I leaped for the plane as the hatch (more like the contraption where you put an auto-deposit at the bank night deposit LOL) was closing. I grabbed on as it taxiied down the runway, shouting down to the pilots to let me in. They stopped the plane and I made my flight.

I remember having to make all these decisions very quickly – the one about the wine is interesting because I really planned to take it. But, as I turned it down and began running for the plane I remember being glad I didn’t take it. When I finally caught the plane I realized that had I taken the wine I would have missed the plane and that I would have ended up with wine all over me had I tried to run with it.

Of course, so many things about the dream are hilariously unrealistic, but amazing at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dream that was so overtly symbolic. I mean, really, drinking = missing the boat in so many ways! Missing life.

It was just one of those dreams where you wake up feeling profoundly different and in awe. Most of mine are a non-sequitur jumble of little things.

We are on the right track according to my waking and dreaming states people! Keep it up and have a super day. :lilheart:

[BlondeAFAmbition]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Hi Motivators!

I haven't checked in here for a few days and I know I'm not one of the "regulars" on this particular thread, but I just wanted to say hello and let you know I am still quite "tuned in"!

Tomorrow is 30 days AF for me...I feel better than I have in ages. Much more clear-headed and healthy in general.

I know I keep touting this book and I know UW, you also are a big fan, but the Vale book, Kick the Drink Easily has been such a lifechanger for me. I am so grateful he wrote it, I am going to write him a thank you letter...seriously!!! It really has changed my whole perception of AL...it has made me want to celebrate my new freedom every day since I am not confined to a prison of AL. In his book, he talks about imaging you have just got out of prison, but the cell you were in is a glass room and you can look inside and see where you were at any time...and there is nothing in the room...nothing. And remember that you wanted out so badly...why would you go back in willingly? Why would you take that first drink and go back to the prison cell? So, taking that an extra step, whenever that old "craving" for a drink starts to creep in (which is happening less and less nowadays), I imagine that I am holding a key to that cell, and I would be the only one able to let myself in with that key...but WHY would I let myself back into a prison cell that I am finally FREE of and that took me so long to get OUT of? It's a pretty powerful image and has kept me from slipping since I am relatively in the early days of AF life. There is just something so different about the Vale technique that I can't say enough good things about it!

Well, we're almost to the end of March now...wishing you all the best on your journeys!

[mylife]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Good morning Marchers!

Alls - what a great post. I too am feeling more and more secure with the idea that I will never drink again. It just has not sounded appealing lately at all and I'm feeling a little like "why did I ever like that in the first place?" I'm hoping this feeling lasts but I can truly say it just feels more permanent this time for me, too. I've basically stopped taking the antabuse and haven't had an issue with it so far. But I keep it with me just in case! I will pop one if a thought pops into my head!

UW - wow what a dream! That's fantastic. I haven't had one AL related dream believe it or not!! Odd...! I'm sure I will at some point.

Blonde - I have read Jason's book twice. I keep it in my Kindle and re-read parts of it now and then. He's also a Health Guru in the UK and I've got his book "slim for life" about juicing. I really admire him in so many ways - but you're right he really nailed it with that book for me as well!

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

[GingerDust]

MARCH MOTIVATORS

Morning all.

Alls, I love the post too. Go ahead, kick it to the curb.

Cool dream, UW.

I still have not read Vale's book. I'll get to it eventually.

Still AF, still fighting stupid physical pain, still whining about it. :H

I hope everyone has a good day.