So disappointed

[Lou]

Hi all,

Iv just been for my psychiatric assessment to determine that i have bipolar so that i can be given the correct meds...and was told after 2 hours of going through my whole life story which was very upsetting that i should do more research on the net about bipolar to see if i identify with anything....erm hello of course i identify with it i bloody well have it, and iv researched till it comes out of my ears. I am just so upset and frustrated right now, i mean what do you have to do to get people to sit up and take notice in this country...kill someone??? or yourself, by which time its obviously too late. I really thought i was gonna get help today and i know that the doctors have to be cautious when diagnosing conditions...but iv been going through this system for almost a year now and if anything im getting worse. The psychiatrist told me she would up my dose of antidepressants but that this could be dangerous if i do have bipolar...whats that if not a contradiction, i cant have the bipolar drugs which will help but i can have more of other drugs which will make me worse!!!
So sorry bout the rant guys...i d just really built my hopes up and for nothing again, and you know the ironic thing is that this just makes me wanna drink cause i feel like i have this huge ball of anger and frustration inside me and i just wanna numb it.

Lou x

[Owly]

So disappointed

Hey Lou - sorry to hear about your experience with our appalling psychiatric services

I've done that life story thing three times now with difference psychiatrists and will never do it again. I can't believe they told you to look on the internet after a two hour assessment. I wouldn't recommend going further down the nhs route - you're right about what you have to do before they take you seriously.

If you're sure about your condition then order the pills you need yourself via an online pharmacy, or if you can afford it maybe think about seeing a private psychiatrist.

Sending you warm vibes and hugs! :h

[Lou]

So disappointed

Thanks owly...if i can gather the funds i will try and go private....unfortunately one of the symptoms of bipolar is getting oneself in to a lot of debt, which i am so i dont know if ill be able to do that. Im expecting a call from my GP any minute who is lovely and was gonna prescribe me the drugs for bipolar but didnt wanna go over the psychiatrists head before id seen her. I think i may just ask her outright if she can do it, im gonna go mad if i dont get some positive results soon

Lou x x

[Owly]

So disappointed

Oh that's good, you've got your GP onside - just explain the situation like you did to us and I'm sure she will help you :h

They have to make sure you've gone through the hoops before they can do what they really want to.

[AMELIA]

So disappointed

Hello Lou (and Owly),

It is really sad to read that you have not been dealt with in the right way. Being manic depressive/bipolar must be an incredibly difficult and frightening way to have to live your life. I don't know an awful lot about it. I have read a few books about the subject - one of which really took me as being 'someones real story'. It was written by a physcologist that had manic depression/ bipolar her name is Kay Redfield Jamison
The rest of my post is what I googled about the book called ' An unquiet mind'

I hope this helps.

Amelia

Kay Redfield Jamison (born June 22, 1946) is an American professor of psychiatry and writer who is one of the foremost experts on bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression), from which she herself suffers. She received a Ph.D. in psychology from UCLA and joined the faculty there. She has been named one of the "Best Doctors in the United States" and was chosen by Time magazine as a "Hero of Medicine." She was also chosen as one of the five individuals for the public television series "Great Minds of Medicine."

Her book Manic-Depressive Illness (which she co-authored with Frederick K. Goodwin) is the classic textbook on bipolar disorder. In another book Exuberance: The Passion for Life, she cites research which suggests that 15 percent of people who could be diagnosed as manic depressive may never actually become depressed; in effect, they are permanently 'high' on life. She mentions President Theodore Roosevelt as an example. She herself has written about the agony of severe depression and has admitted to feeling suicidal, even to the point of an attempted suicide by a lithium overdose.

In Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament, she shows how bipolar disorder can run in artistic or high-achieving families. As an example, she cites Lord Byron and his ancestors. In Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide, Jamison provides a comprehensive resource on suicide. She discusses historical, religious, and cultural responses to suicide. She details the relationship between mental illness and suicide. She dedicates a chapter to American public policy and public opinion as it relates to suicide. The catalyst for the book was the suicide of a close friend, a brilliant man with bipolar tendencies. The two had made a pact to call each other and to spend a contemplative week together in a cottage if either of them felt suicidal. But in fact he did not get in touch with her before he committed suicide.

Jamison, in an interview, said she was an 'exuberant' person herself, yet she longed for peace and tranquility; but in the end, she preferred "tumultuousness coupled to iron discipline" over leading a "stunningly boring life." In her autobiography, An Unquiet Mind, she concluded: "I long ago abandoned the notion of a life without storms, or a world without dry and killing seasons. Life is too complicated, too constantly changing, to be anything but what it is. And I am, by nature, too mercurial to be anything but deeply wary of the grave unnaturalness involved in any attempt to exert too much control over essentially uncontrollable forces. There will always be propelling, disturbing elements, and they will be there until, as Lowell put it, the watch is taken from the wrist. It is, at the end of the day, the individual moments of restlessness, of bleakness, of strong persuasions and maddened enthusiasms, that inform one's life, change the nature and direction of one's work, and give final meaning and color to one's loves and friendships."

Jamison is the recipient of the National Mental Health Association's William Styron Award (1995), the American Suicide Foundation Research Award (1996), the Community Mental Health Leadership Award (1999), and was a 2001 MacArthur Fellowship recipient.

She is Professor of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and is an Honorary Professor of English at the University of St Andrews.

[AMELIA]

So disappointed

I know what I just posted about Kay sounds daunting, but the book was amazing!! Well worth the read Lou.

[Lou]

So disappointed

Amelia,

I can relate so much to a lot of what you just posted...just makes me so much more mad about the system here...but at the same time makes me glad that im not imagining this...its not a figment of my imagination, its real and im experiencing it and i just hope to god it gets recognised soon...before i do something stupid and theres noone there to find me or get me help

Thank you

lou x x

[AMELIA]

So disappointed

Hey Lou,

Please order the book and read it. I found it an enormously engrossing read and I am sure you will too.

I think it cost me ?9, so it is not extortionate. I bought it on Amazon.

BE GOOD TO YOURSELF


Amelia

[AMELIA]

So disappointed

I think I need to add one more note Lou. Kay examined and wrote about her fight with bipolar from a personal and professional point of view. She always questioned it. She lived it and wrote about it - for other people, so that they had information and a 'fighting' chance to make it.



Amelia

[Rags]

So disappointed

Dear Lou,
What a dreadful state when you are treated like that. I can understand your anger and frustration at being fobbed off like that.
As your Dr. is so understanding, would you be able to book a series of long appointments and use her as your psych? May be worth a try.

[YoungAtHeart]

So disappointed

Hi Lou--

I'm appalled at the NHS! They are the doctors and they want YOU to research it on the internet??? That is freaking insane! Here in the states they hand out mood stabilizers like candy it seems. Maybe your GP might consider giving you topa, since it acts as a mood stabilizer and will also help with cravings, too.....it's a thought. Although there are probably mood stabilizers that are more effective with bi-polar.

Kay Jamison's book is terrific. I've read it several times now. She is a classic! She takes lithium at a level enough to keep her reasonably stable.

Keep plugging on, Lou. Don't let those idiots stop you from trying to get the proper treatment!

Love,
Kathy:h

An

[Lou]

So disappointed

Thank you all for your lovely words and support. I am definitely gonna order Kays book...still makes me so sad tho, i mean at the moment iv sort of got it in control....but what about the others that haven't. I don't know how many of you saw the post i wrote a while back about the lady i saw chuck herself of a motorway bridge right in front of me....she had just been to our local psych hospital to ask for help and been turned away!!!! so you see what im up against...so behind the times here that its unbelievable

Lou x

[YoungAtHeart]

So disappointed

Lou, it makes me just furious for you and others who are struggling in Britain to get decent mental health care. It's getting worse over here under our illustrious leader, as well.

[Cashregister]

So disappointed

Hey Lou,

I have bi-polar and that sounds like rubbish to me - you cannot diagnose yourslef - one of the biggest problems with this is that you don't know what is happening when it happens. Also, it is different for everyone, adn there are so many shades of grey in diagnosis too.

PM me if you want to, happy to talk through.

[Lou]

So disappointed

Fighting back

Well guys today i decided not to be a victim of this stupid system anymore. I took myself along to the local library and did tons of research...printed off heaps of info, a lot of which completely contradicts what she told me (she only talked about bipolar1) when as you said cash there are many variations.
Im going to read through it all thoroughly and highlight the bits that are relevant to me and make notes next to them as to why.I'm also keeping a diary as of today, although this might not be accurate as im on librium at the moment which kind of stabilises your mood..but i will explain this to her. And if i go worse in the mean time due to her upping my antidepressants then she'll have that to answer to as well!
So when i go back and see her in march i will be armed with this info and i will not be fobbed off again...i know my body and mind better than anyone else and i will not be told otherwise. If need be ill refuse to leave her office and they'll have to bloody section me...no more miss nice guy, i know my rights and i deserve to be treated accordingly...so there!!!

Yours..a much more positive Lou x x x