Army Thread 5th March 2012

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Morning Starts, Reccybear, Tippers, Expatty, Marioooo, Oney, Mr G, Fireyfoxy, SugarB and all those yet to drop by.

I'M HOME, stick the kettle someone.

What can I say. I'm feeling very lot sad. :upset:

If ever a weekend could be described as perfect, that was it.

I would fully recommend staying at the 5star Mollers Motel.

[coriander]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

hello army, been missing you lot.
sounds like you had a bit of a catch up lately - couldn't someone have sent me a plane ticket? honestly, i would've found the time....:H

where's anon? we got plans, us.

[Anjicia]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Glad to hear you had a lovely weekend and had a safe trip back home. Sorry i missed you but i'm sure they will be other times. Put your feet up and enjoy ur cuppa:l

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Hi gang..... glad you had a good meet up.
yep I can bet molly's casa is a warm and cozy place to stay....:l:l

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Starts I know you're not there at the mom, but I might not get a chance to chat later...
sorry for you honey, it's always hard....my heart goes out to you...:h

i'm in a very lonely place as well at the moment, not slept in the bed since thurs night only the sofa, my kitchen is a mess..had no desire or strength to do it..,
luckily there's not many clothes in the basket..it's only me..and I must stink...!

gonna try & have a shower and clear up...but my heart is not in doing anything...
got so much work to do as well, just told Bonnie she can have the money from the guy I do the accounts for each month, so to help her....she picks up the books close to where she works, she she can give me the books and she can keep the money..

it's only fair, I am heartbroken, how I haven't gone out for a drink I don't understand..???????

very fucking curious..maybe coz I've been in this house since it happened..apart from when I take my girlies out..but it's dark and I'm all wrapped up..

okies enough of my jabber..

hasta later mis amigos...xxxxxxx:l:l:l:l

[limers]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Hello all....
Lady jan,havent a clue what to say to you that hasnt already been said.You and Ollie are better off apart for now,you are no use to each other till you both get the help you need, him with his anger,resentment and feelings...you with your parenting skills and getting off the pills and booze.Good luck to you both.I think you really need to make a firm decision one way or the other in regards to weather he goes into the system or not,all this 'I need him to go away ,cant look after him' to 'im never going to let him go,cant live without him' is not only sending him mixed signals but screwing with his head.Make a decision, stick to it,work it out would be my advice.

On a lighter note, I didnt get my solo ,but even tho theres always a tinge of disappointment its way overshadowed by relief,im always planking it before hand so im happy enough not to get it. Lol!

[limers]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

sorry,on the run again..............see you all later xx

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

wow Limers I would never have expected such a hash reply....wow....

yeah sometimes truth hurts..but you must have all the details to fire like that..

I am in a mess and truly don't need an attack, or harsh words,

I am not asking for lovey-dovey
but some comfort and help..I am in a mess an harsh doesn't work right now
a huge big arm to fall into and hold me tight & tell me it'll be alright..
please don't beat me up over this I did not do anything wrong...

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

and I don't know what the hell you are on about "pills" I took sleeping pills..and never too many,
my parenting skills....

sorry Limers go fuck yourself... who are you to judge......???

[ladyjan]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Tell you what right now Limers....you have made me feel that if I had a fucking gun like my father, I would stick it in my mouth and blow my brains out..
now I understand him...fuck you for all your help..

[red67]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Please LJ, I dont know you like the rest of the people here but please dont do anything like that. In the past couple of days you have referred to a "bucket of pills", cutting yourself with a razor blade and now shooting yourself. You are obviously in so much pain and i dont have any idea what to say to help you. Can you please reach out to someone there to help you thru this?? I pray you dont do anything to hurt yourself, it will not do anything but bring more pain. Praying for you:l

[limers]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Lady jan,im just giving you feedback from what ive been reading. I wish you luck with Ollie.

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Jan, all of us have supported you from day one. Especially here on the Army thread. You have been very troubled lately and have made some posts that were very upsetting to all of us. What Red said about the bucket of pills and the razor. We have been doing all we can to support you in any and every way we can but you must realize how disturbing it is for us to see your posts about pills and self-harming and you even mentioned suicide at some point. We are all far away from you and we feel helpless to do something to help you in any other way than the written word here by posts or by telephone calls, whenever we can. In all truth, neither of those do anything to help you solve the situation that you're in right now. It does let you know that we care about you but in truth, our support does nothing physically to help you. We all feel helpless and are all bystanders watching the daily happenings in your life without being able to do a thing to help.

While you may have interpreted Limers posts as being harsh and you say that isn't what you need right now, she was just saying things the way she sees it. The truth is, and I don't want to further upset you with my words, that we can't really know what exactly is going on there since none of us is in your home to see what's going on. When you talk about a bucket of pills, we can't know what pills they are. You say they are only for sleeping but you posted this a couple of weeks ago...

ladyjan;1262925 wrote: Right going to bed, totally dosed to the lmit plus a bit more..have had a very mega bad, bad day day....
ollie broke my reading glasses, so please forgive mistakes,,

feellimg dozzy and gonnna take him to santa cruz ma?anana and check him into a centre..last I never, never wnated him to go..but tis CANNOT CONTINUE

for as sad as it will makeS me, I think it's the best for him, and my mentaly health to have a breakfor a month or two....

I love him so dearly, but this is getting crazy and volotile

or else I'm gonna pack s all up and move the fuck up and move away from here....You've mention anti-depressants and you've mentioned bac before. So how are we supposed to know what pills you're talking about? There may be pain killers or other pills there as well. You mentioned several times about wanting to pick up and leave. You also said in the above post that you know that it is best for Ollie to go somewhere for help. You wrote this not long after the other post.

ladyjan;1262933 wrote: I'LL letu all know in the morn....
coz it can't conttinue like this.....ge is it' soo very aggresive and it frightentd
ss me to if he is gonna be like hus fatjer,,this is what honest triuly worri5rs & frigihtens me......

When Limers says this - "you are no use to each other till you both get the help you need, him with his anger,resentment and feelings...you with your parenting skills and getting off the pills and booze." she is just saying what we've been saying all along. That Ollie needs help with his issues and you need help learning how to deal with him. How to lay down ground rules and boundaries and make sure he sticks with them. That was all she said. As for the pills, sleeping pills can be very addictive and I imagine that some AD's can as well. You say you've been off the booze for over three weeks. If it is true, it is very commendable. Forgive me for the phrase, "if it is true" but again, none of us is there in your home, by your side, to know if you have been strong enough through all of this to not drink. It would be such a temptation to any alcoholic going through what you're going through now to pick up a bottle to numb the pain.

And now you must understand that to all of us who have given you our support and who care for you and Ollie and are praying that both of you get the help you need, that changing your avatar to a man with a gun to his head is very upsetting indeed and really not fair to those people who have showed nothing but support to you all of the time that you have been at MWO and through those difficult months when you were working so hard to get Ollie back. It is very distressing to all of us to see you struggle and feel your pain but that avatar picture is just not fair. Please change it and please understand that whatever is written here, and however it is written, in done out of caring for you and your family. Otherwise, no one would even take the time to respond to your posts. Please think about it, Jan. Please be fair to us.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Thank goodness you came along Stirls, I've been sitting here for over half an hour wondering what to say to Jan.

Stirls, your post is spot on and beautifully written as they always are for a serious matter. And Jan this is a serious matter involving 2 very vulnerable people.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 5th March 2012

Right then Good evening all.

Red67 how lovely to see you. You must be looking forward to your year AF.

Limers, sorry you didn't get the part are you going to be in the chorus instead or have you flounced orff like a proper diva as they don't deserve your talent.

Ach, Molls I'm missing the girls. If you ever need hen sitters, I'm yer woman.