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UGH! I have a real problem with authority

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    #1

    UGH! I have a real problem with authority

    Maybe it stems from being the youngest child in a large family. I know that I bristle and act ridiculous when I'm criticized or told what to do, etc.

    Just had a pre-evaluation on my annual job performance, and my lateness/tardiness was written up in my evaluation, and it made me so goddamn angry. I KNOW it's the truth, that I was in fact tardy a lot, and the absenteeism, blah blah...HOWever, I've been at this job for 24 years, and for fuck's sake when can I catch a break? Why does every petty thing have to be pointed OUT? Makes me want to go home and get drunk, lol, and miss work tomorrow.:H

    The worst is the feeling of being subservient and feeling like child who did wrong and must face the wall shamefully. Bad, bad girl. UGH. Why do things like this immediately reduce me to such a juvenile state. I believe this is something I should discuss with my therapist (if I had one).


    "I like people too much or not at all."     Sylvia Plath
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    #2
    UGH! I have a real problem with authority

    I hear ya. When we get a job review and they overlook all the good things we do and point out the one or two negatives it is frustrating. We don't feel like grown-ups anymore. I remember getting a dull ache in my stomach when reviews were disappointing. All you can do is move on. Don't let them get the best of you. Don't punish yourself by drinking. Then no one wins.

    Tomorrow is another day and it will all be forgotten.
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu

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      #3
      UGH! I have a real problem with authority

      Yep - I get ya too! So far I've avoided my annualmreview for quite some time now. I'm either doing ok and boss hasn't noticed he has forgotten the review or I'm doing a shit job but he knows he won't get anyone else to do what I do so is keepin quiet OR he is plotting to be rid of me and can't face me 'cos he's feeling bad about plotting....

      Either way, therapy would prolly help if I too had a therapist.....
      It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
      Mother Theresa

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        #4
        UGH! I have a real problem with authority

        Hi LG,

        I'm sorry to read about your performance appraisal. Chin up! DO NOT let that derail your progress. Oops you said you don't like being told what to do, didn't you? Well I have a short term memory issue. Lol! Seriously, things will look better in the morning. It's just a small (irritating) bleep. Let it roll off your back not down your throat. Hugs!
        AF since 2/22/2012

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          #5
          UGH! I have a real problem with authority

          I'm the same way. I get really uncomfortable and want to rebel. It's something I need to figure out as well.. I say cut yourself a break.

          I'm thinking try to keep it in perspective? tardy doesn't equal bad bad girl. You are a woman who was late. Point taken and move forward. You probably had your reasons for being late, and as petty as "punching a clock" is... (I agree) you will take this on board but don't need to feel shame. There are a lot of really bad things to do and being late or taking personal days do not go on that list.

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            #6
            UGH! I have a real problem with authority

            Except when they are the result of heavy drinking, choice. I was taking way too may personal days and on the days I did drag myself to work, I could barely get out of bed and hence, the "habitual" tardiness.

            I actually don't punch a clock. I am on salary. Seems really petty, but we are held to a strict schedule, even so.

            I was here on the dot this morning, and I slept well, for a change. Baby steps...:H


            "I like people too much or not at all."             Sylvia Plath

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              #7
              UGH! I have a real problem with authority

              LG-
              Don't take it too hard. Every review has to have some "negatives" in it...sounds like they couldn't find anything else so they settled for some lame nit picking. I have always told my boss that I don't want to be suprised in my review, if there's an issue, confront me with it, don't wait until review time. Nothing earth-shattering should be revealed in a review. Sounds like your "superiors" were looking for something to counsel you on. I'm like you though, when I get repremanded I feel like telling them "You're lucky I show up at all!" LOL
              Hang in there...don't let them get you down...you're better than that!
              K9
              :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

              Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                #8
                UGH! I have a real problem with authority

                I'm glad you were on time today and slept well. :l

                It's really good your addressing your drinking and how it is causing you to miss work and be tardy so you don't loose your job.

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