Army Thread 9th March 2012

[anon]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

JackieClaire;1277556 wrote: I doubt if there is a human being alive or dead that could have talked me out of having a drink. I don't think I can say I ever 'slipped' I went all out for hammered.





Me too.

Me too:goodjob::l

[anon]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

I meant to quote Oneys post too!!
Thank you Oney

[one2many]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Keep plugging Anon and get over here in June for the marathon xx

Ya know the way we all have people we look up to in our lives? Well I look up to you, I think you are feckin amazing.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Aww Fireyfoxy,:l

I could come round and sing you a lullaby but you'd be awake all night clutching the duvet scared to go to sleep in case I did it again.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

I am going to go now too, goodnight all.

[Anjicia]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Hi everyone and thanks for thoughts and kind words i'll be fine it will pass i just more help again. The last time i was in out patients rehab was in St. John of God Stillorgan some of the you Dubs and others might know of or heard of it. I managed nearly 6 months but because of cutbacks and a long waiting list the ant-relapse programe one after a week was stopped and i never got word of if or where it wad taking place again. KTAB don't worry hun i didn't take up your post wrong and you didn't offend i should have posted for help here or the need help tread i'm a silly bitch at times. Also i should have got my ass out to an AA meeting during the week. A lot of people don't really go with their philsopy or 12 step programe but find being in a room listening to and/or sharing is a help you can take out of the programe what suits or needs. Scuse my spelling could do withs a spell check on here.

[one2many]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

See ya later Ktab x

[one2many]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Hey Foxy,

We all have your back hon, you can give me a ring anytime xx

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

one2many;1277573 wrote: Hey Foxy,

We all have your back hon, you can give me a ring anytime xx

Indeed we do.

We're going to try and get the phone sorted over the next week so I can make free calls to Europe.

Do you have skype. FF.

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Hello Troopers.

Just now reading back on the posts and no doubt there have been others since I quoted these. Blame it on telephone interruptions.

anon;1277487 wrote: Evening all.

Feeling a bit rubbish here in anon --land. Nothing specific just lots of regrets for wasting so much of my life.

I do know all the cliches about not looking back but at the moment I am having a real wallow in self pity.

At least because I have a 20 mile training run in the morning a drink is the last thing I would have:H
I feel guilty about so much and do not feel like Whizzy at all.:upset:

anon;1277492 wrote: Thanks Zen but just feel so miserable at the moment. Sorry to be so negative.Mrs. A, we all, at one time or another, look back and say "what if". What if I hadn't done that, what if I'd done that. Everyone wastes opportunities that we should have grabbed at, everyone of us has messed up and wished we could go back and do things differently. But we can't. And wishing that we could serves no purpose. What's done is done. The past is the past and the best thing you can do is to leave it where it is - in the past. Please try to concentrate on what you have achieved. Raising a fine family, being a good mother, grandmother and wife and successful at your work. And now, the last few years, achieving physical stamina that twenty-year olds would like to have. You are moving forward. Every step you take is a positive one. You are an inspiration to all of us here. Please, don't forget that.
Zenstyle;1277508 wrote: So you don't feel like you can be yourself at home? Is that because the "new you" hasn't been fully accepted yet? I'm sure you were a lot easier to manage when you were tits up in a bottle. And I'm sure you are a lot more opinionated now... and your personality will be coming out more. Maybe the Mister is a little bit in awe of our new Whizzy...

I think that Zen has a really good point here and I've seen it other times on the boards. Spouses who can't deal with their wife/husband who is sober and now in control of their life and moving forward.
Firefox;1277511 wrote: Hi anon so sorry to hear you have been feling down. I've been the same myself the past few days no interest in anything very up and down. And i'm ashamed to say i drank. I've been looking in to outpatient help for al problems and i have been phoning a few places but nothing so far and i can't pay ads i have no private health insurance just a medical card which covers little with cutbacks. I have a gp appointment tjhis monday so hopefully she might be able to point me ome where. I need more tha AA right now as 12 step programs are not for me but sometimes the meetings help being in a room with people in the same boat. You do well so well with your running so you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes geti ng sober is only part of the problem tho i'm no expert and not a big therapy kind of person. Anyway going to eat dinner and i'll check back later.

Foxy, please don't be ashamed of anything. That you drank, that you gave in to your cravings. It has happened to all of us more times than we are willing to admit. I hope you can get into some kind of programme that will help you. Hopefully your GP will be able to steer you in the right direction.
KTAB;1277536 wrote: Jeez it must be something in the air tonight. Been in a serious funk all day and the little seed starts to grow at about 4pm.
I was saying to Molly last week how when people have a slip I always think to myself why didnt you post BEFORE not AFTER you drank and I know the answer, its because we dont want to be talked out of it, pure and simple. I am not judging anyone, only speaking as it is with me. So that said I have sat on the fence for the past two hours, gotten splinters in my ass and I was so so close to going to the pub but now I wont. Hope the next time has the same outcome.Good for you on not giving in KTABbers. No, we don't want to be talked out of it. Because we have talked ourself into it, using every excuse we can. :goodjob: on taking the splinters over AL.

startingover;1277537 wrote: I think its the full moon bringing out all this funky stuff
I am a tad irritable tooStartypants, I think you may have something there. Seriously, a lot of people are affected by a full moon. Hope you feel better soon.

startingover;1277544 wrote: You are probably further along than you think Tabbers.
When we are tired or tense the first thing we do is think of drink, I still do, almost 4 years in. But dont get disheartened, it is much easier to take a dispassionate viewIsn't it amazing how the "stinking-drinking" thoughts are with us even after a really long time AF? It's like we always go for a crutch. Feck me.

one2many;1277545 wrote: The full moon can affect moods big time.

Anon, I think every one of us have regrets, shouda, woulda, coulda...........
It IS very hard to accept the amount of time we wasted drinking, it is also difficult not to look back and lament how our lives broke down, what we don't realise tho, is that we are wasting, good, beautiful, fantastic sober time doing this....more waste.

Quietly forgiving and moving on is a gift to yourself.

Anything Mr A does or does not do is NOT because of you...but a projection of his own reality.

Don't waste time rubbernecking your past, you don't live there anymore...

Big hugs xx

Ah, one of the best posts I've read recently. Thank you Oney.
Firefox;1277551 wrote: Yeah i agree it seems like Mr Anon doesn't like the changes in you and you're in a tougher situation than me a he drinks at home and asks you to have a glass of wine. Posting before i drink? I guess i was too embaressed to say here i felt like drinking or controlling the urges to drink i don't know i can't explain i'm too sick and fucked up this evening to think straight. So going to get to bed early and tomorrows another day feelin so tired now. A lot of you here have a lot of sobriety under your belt and i just feel so weak and out of control this week its embarressing. Not sure if what kind of out patient treatment is available to me but see what dr says. Still reading Jason Vale's book but nothin happening so far its too like Alan Carrs. The easy way to stop drinking? Jaysis if it was that easy everyone just read one or either of the books. Sorry for rabbiting on.

Awe Foxy, don't be sorry for saying how you feel. That's what this forum is all about and that's why we're all her. For mutual support. I sure hope you can get the help you need ASAP.
JackieClaire;1277556 wrote: I doubt if there is a human being alive or dead that could have talked me out of having a drink. I don't think I can say I ever 'slipped' I went all out for hammered.

Like most of us. How could someone talk me out of something that I'd worked so hard to talk myself into doing? A slip? Nope. A downright spiral into the the abyss of a black-out.

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

hiya guys

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Hewwo cirly wirly stirly girly and Pinkeroooooooo,

You're up late Ms Stirls.

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

one2many;1277563 wrote: Keep plugging Anon and get over here in June for the marathon xx

Ya know the way we all have people we look up to in our lives? Well I look up to you, I think you are feckin amazing.Mrs. A - what Oney said. I get tired just reading about what you do.

KTAB;1277566 wrote: I am going to go now too, goodnight all.Nighters, KTAB.
one2many;1277573 wrote: Hey Foxy,

We all have your back hon, you can give me a ring anytime xx

Yep, we're all here for you, Foxy.
JackieClaire;1277586 wrote: Hewwo cirly wirly stirly girly and Pinkeroooooooo,

You're up late Ms Stirls.

Yes but I'm about to walk the dogger and then to bed.

Wishing all of you..



See youz tomorrowz...:h

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Nighty night, Stirls.

I must away meself.

I have the daughter staying for another night. So going to get on the settee and have a bit of a CSI marathon.

[expat3]

Army Thread 9th March 2012

Evening Army:l
Sending special hugs out to Foxy and Coach Anon.
It's normal we have regrets-but then even people who have never had a drink problem have regrets so...
It still happens to me too though. I can make myself sick thinking about some of my cringe worthy moments.:upset:
The strange thing is that with a lot of sober time under my belt-I sometimes start to forget about that "other person". I don't feel like "her" anymore.
Since the kids are calm for a moment :H-I'll share a story that I've been wanting to share but it's been so fecking busy that I can never find the time to concentrate!
A few weeks ago, a new friend asked me to collect her son from aftercare because she had to work late. I was thrilled because I had isolated myself for so long after moving here-and drinking too much-that I had not made any friends (real friends). Well, over the last year or so, I have finally got a nice little group of people that I can call friends.
Well, as some of you who have been in the Army for awhile-know my rock bottom was when I went to collect my son at aftercare after having too much to drink at my work's Christmas lunch party. I had pretty much sobered up at that point but still smelled of drink (I imagine) and had been crying.This was three years ago. They let me take my child with me but I was given a STRONG warning. Totally humiliating. I've never let anything like that happen again but of course-everyone at the school knew about it.
So, getting back to picking up the little boy for my friend a few weeks ago -one of the women working at the aftercare had been there the infamous night after the Christmas party. When I told her with a smile that little "x" would be coming home with my son and I because his mum would be working late, she immediately told me in a strange voice "Well, wait I need to clear that with the directress of the centre". So she rushed off to get the directress out of her office. She said that it was ok-the child's mother had called to let them know he'd be going home with me. All this is going on while several other mothers are looking on. One of them had to mumble "Oh, when I collect my son's friends, they NEVER have to clear it first!" And it's true-other mothers always bring other kids home-this is a small town. The girl at the desk just lets them leave. Everybody knows everybody. I guess that's the problem. So I guess they'll never forget-or let me forget that night a few years ago. I took the boys home and we had pizza and played-it was fun. But that night before going to bed, I cried.
I hate it. It makes me REALLY angry that even though I've changed and feel great that certain people will ALWAYS hold onto the image of that other woman. But I will just carry on-things are 10000000 times better now. The people I really care about know the real me so if some people won't forget (even though it was a few years ago) there is not much I can do about it. But it really sucks in some ways. I can't move away and start over where no one knows about that period in my life and I don't really want to move away anyhow.