Thank you all....

[Muppet]

Hello all,
I logged on today and see it was November 2008 the last time that I did. I read often but am not one to post. Think I have only ever posted twice.
My life back then in 2008 is pretty much the same now. Still drink up to 2 bottles of red wine a night. Have stopped a few times with the longest AF being 64 days and the smallest one 12 days. But pretty much at it solid. Boredom is my trigger along with habit. I cook the meal whilst enjoying a glass or two. Eat the meal with a glass or two. Then watch TV and continue.

I have had the worst 2 days of my life. I had argument with partner, lashed out and she has gone. No reply to texts or voice messages. The not knowing if it is finally over is pure torture and I am struggling to keep going. Am so ashamed. Drinking wine now to dull the ache. Am alone in an empty house and it is horrible.

Am at my lowest ebb.... but just wanted to say thank you to everyone who does post. I would like to say that reading often over the last 4 years has helped me enormously.... How? you may ask when I am drinking so much still....? Easy to answer... I think I would be drinking a lot more without you all.

[rubywillow]

Thank you all....

Muppet, I'm so sorry for your problems. But you're drinking now, after it caused this problem for you? I DO understand how hard it is to face this battle, but if you try your best, it can be done. And you will be surprised at the people in your life who will help you because they already know this and want you better. There's never such a thing as a healthy relationship with that much AL involved. IMHO, it's time for you to make a decision. What do you want from your life? If it means sobriety to have the things that are most important to you, please get some help now.
I'm really glad you are reading. It seems to mean you still are getting inspiration here. And I can tell you being older, if you don't do it you will look back with regrets for what you've lost because of it. It's a powerful force, and so hard to get away from, but you've read how others have. My best wishes that you make a good choice, and choose to live a happy, healthy, AL-free life.

[K9Lover]

Thank you all....

Hi Muppet,
I am glad you are still around, although I must say that I'm concerned that you are still drinking even though alcohol is what brought on the worst 2 days of your life. Nothing changes if you don't change it. You've had periods of sobriety...can you make another attempt? Set small goals, 3 days, 7 days...and go from there? Give yourself a break from the drinking, let the fog lift, and then see where things stand with your partner. I will be thinking of you.
K9

[hillsidetime]

Thank you all....

Hey Muppet,
I have walked in similar shoes to the ones you are wearing, many of us have. Like K9 says, you have to want to change, to make change. Like Ruby says, you need to reflect on your life and decide what you want.

Regardless, I would recommend some sober time, so you can think straight. Eat healthy, and hydrate, and hopefully you will be able to work things through with your partner.

Living sober is amazing, and worth every minute of hard work. You can do it. Fight the battle. we are here for you,
Hill