SUNDAY SURVIVAL

[Struggles 106]

Hi All

Just checking in on day 4. Doing a lot of thinking about how I can avoid the slipping. It is a trial and error thing, and for today I'm OK.
I find that I have changed in some significant ways. I used to love political debates for example. Now I find that I want to be very selfish with my energy-most of it needs to go to nurturing myself right now. I also just seem to crave peace and quiet. Nothing new but seems even more so.
I'm also pretty sure that I need to end a relationship that I'm in for various reasons. It's hard though since I can't bear the thought of being sober and "dating". I've done it before but at this point I'm too fragile. That point should have no bearing in the decision to end something that cannot go anywhere through no fault of mine.
It's nice having him around. When left to my own devices I tend to self-destruct. So I do have some fear.
Also-I am suspicious of someone who meets me and thinks I'm great. Yes I know it's my own lack of self esteem etc, but I immediately think WOW-what kind of people have you been around that allows you to think I'm great?
I don't feel as strong as I did before. But then at this point some shakiness is to be expected. Looking back on those 3+ months it was really nice to be off the roller coaster.

Thank you to everyone for being here. I'm going to clean out my garage today and go to bed sober tonight. Can't beat that.

[Supercrew]

SUNDAY SURVIVAL

Great job Ann!!

As far as hating the thought of being sober and dating. I haven't dated in 20+ years, but I think I would feel more comfortable being sober when I am trying to make a good impression. Years ago when I was dating drunk I basically started a riot at a county fair, puked on my date, lost a friends car on a date after I ran out of gas, and those are just three dates that I remember. Suffice to say, I never had a second date with any of those women.

You need to raise your own self esteem, because you are bright, witty and you sound like a great person. You have to change your perception of yourself, and drinking isn't helping...as you know. You can do and be whatever you want. But you are the only one who can change the way you feel about yourself.

Have a great Sunday!

[Struggles 106]

SUNDAY SURVIVAL

I KNOW

Hey Crew-I agree. I'm just wondering if I can really make a difference in my self-evaluation without professional help. But then again I've done that. Also what difference does it make that someone else tells me I am OK and worthwhile.
It still has to come from within me.

I'm doing OK. At least I'm still in the fight and not over at the local pub pretending to watch basketball and guzzling beer.

[SKendall]

SUNDAY SURVIVAL

Hi Ann, I hear you on the peace and quiet. I find it very important. I am recovering from a major surgery and can't go out, so I love turning off tv and just treasuring the quiet. Listening to music is great too.

Good Luck.

[Supercrew]

SUNDAY SURVIVAL

Ann 221;1282461 wrote: Hey Crew-I agree. I'm just wondering if I can really make a difference in my self-evaluation without professional help. But then again I've done that. Also what difference does it make that someone else tells me I am OK and worthwhile.
It still has to come from within me.

I'm doing OK. At least I'm still in the fight and not over at the local pub pretending to watch basketball and guzzling beer.

I've never had professional help, so I don't know whether it would be helpful, but I have posted with you previously and I know you are strong enough to do it...with help or not.

Happy sober Sunday after St Paddy's day!! It's great to be alive!!

[mama bear]

SUNDAY SURVIVAL

I found that the one time I went to counseling many years ago, that it was a tremendous help. I called it a "tune up" and this perfect stranger taught me alot about myself and different ways of looking at things I was having issues with.
Go for it if you can afford it.......take care of yourself sweetie!!