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[sujo]

Things really are awful at the moment. My depression is dragging me down. I feel so ill physically, aching joints. It hurts my feet to stand. My eyes are yellow. That's what a couple of bottles of wine for the last 10 yrs does. Along with some spirits. I'm on sick leave for the depression & I've just found out I go to 1/2 pay. 7th April. My life is crumbling in front of me.
There seems no hope left. I've just run out.

[Guitarista]

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Hiya Sujo,

That doesn't sound too good at all. Sorry you are in this state friend. You are probably aware that booze is a depressant, and will make us feel more depressed on top of your depression, and most if not all anti-depressants prescribed won't work too well when we are drinking, so the depressing, downward spiral continues. Can you stop drinking? Can you see a doctor to help you today? What are you going to do?

[sujo]

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I know, I know. I've had depression on/off 20yrs or so. Had most meds, cbt, counselling & 6months of psychotherapy. The NHS won't fund more. I have an appt on Fri with the cbt therapist. I'm seeing an addiction counsellor again in 2 weeks.
At my 1st appt she wanted us to pray. I'm not hopeful about/with her. She is Christian which is fine.
I just don't know what else to do. Waiting for Bac to arrive...

[Guitarista]

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sujo;1283205 wrote: I know, I know. I've had depression on/off 20yrs or so. Had most meds, cbt, counselling & 6months of psychotherapy. The NHS won't fund more. I have an appt on Fri with the cbt therapist. I'm seeing an addiction counsellor again in 2 weeks.
At my 1st appt she wanted us to pray. I'm not hopeful about/with her. She is Christian which is fine.
I just don't know what else to do. Waiting for Bac to arrive...

At least you are taking action. :goodjob:

Re the counsellor, if you're not comfortable with her, can you change to another? They're probably understaffed as it is i suppose. Take what you can use from those sessions for now.

What else can you do? Keep yourself safe, drink plenty of water, and try to eat as healthy as you can. I know you would know food affects our mood, so eat good stuff, not Macca's etc. Get some sunlight and force yourself to go for a walk everyday.

Chin up, keep going, and just do your best. You can take your life back.

Keep us posted.

Safe travels. G-bloke.

[GingerDust]

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Hang on, Sujo. I'm sorry you are in pain. Physical pain can just suck the life right out of a person. Are you under a doctor's care for that?

That's some bad news about your pay too. I'm so sorry. But it's not the end of the world. You haven't given up yet. You said the baclofen is coming, and that is great. Sujo, there are other options too. Please consider everything, every tool that might be available to you.

That said, you may need to be firm with your counselor about not injecting HER religion into YOUR therapy sessions though. Those sessions are for you and need to be focused on your needs. If she is appealing to God because she lacks skill or knowledge to help you herself, I sure hope you can get another therapist. She's not getting paid to pray for her clients, you know?

Hang on tight. Your life is not crumbling away. You will get past this dark time. You can be AF, you really can.

My eyes used to be yellow too. You will have clear eyes down the road. Just don't give up. :l

[Unwasted]

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Sujo,

I just wanted to stop by and say hello and offer support if I can. When I first tried to stop drinking it was tough. But I kept at it and now I'm approaching my fifth month of sobriety. We are all different, so I'm not sure what I did will work for you, but maybe you can take some of the ideas and use them.

I ordered the starter pack from the Health Store on this site and took those supplements and read the book.

In addition,

Exercise daily outside - walks or jogs
Read and post voraciously on MWO
Drink water with lemon to curb cravings
Ate healthy vegetables and tried to stay away from junk foods
Read all I could find on addiction - on the internet and in books
Avoided all situations that might make me want to drink - this meant staying away from certain people and also certain settings
I changed my life to include things that would keep me calm and learned how to meditate
I read the Toolbox under Monthly Abstinence and followed the posts of people having success with sobriety
I found things to occupy myself like puzzles, etc.
I ordered Antabuse online from River Pharmacy ca for emergency situations

I don't know if any of this will help. I just know that you have to very actively seek out ways to change your life. And like Ginger says, your eyes will change once you get the poison out of your system. The liver has great rejuvenating powers.

Sending you peace and strength. :lilheart:

[rubywillow]

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Sujo, I'm so sorry about the situation. There are so many things that can cause chronic pain, and depression is very common when you have it. And of course you know AL is a depressant. I hope you can get a complete physical to rule out other causes. Fibromyalgia is common, and causes pain with no specific causes evident. One of the ways it's treated is with an antidrepressant and possibly pain meds and something for anxiety. It sounds like you've gotten so good advice, and I second the idea to really take care of yourself nutritionally and try to get lots of sleep. It also sounds like you should see a counselor more often than every 2 weeks. Let her know you're not comfortable with the prayer idea, but let me suggest you try meditation and yoga. Both are great stress reducers and yoga will help with the pain. Do get outside, get lots of fresh air, be around people and life. Holing yourself up causes you to dwell more on your problems and pain. And keep posting here, read all the places already suggested, find a group you like, such as Newbie's Nest on Just Starting Out. Read people's stories, under tell us your story, and share yours if you like. It's important to reach out for help, involve yourself with positive, supportive people. There's someone here at almost all hours, so never be afraid to post on any thread when you need help. People here have a lot of fun sometimes, but take seriously helping out people in need. Please, keep coming back here over and over and working a plan till it becomes second nature and sticks, OK?
Ruby