How did you become an Alcaholic?

[Mackeral]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Patterns emerging already, Both sets of my grandparents drank very heavily, my mother and father ,3 uncles are very heavy alcaholics...I dont think i stood a chance...Also the confidence thing...I used to have to have a few drinks before i got to the pub to make me feel better about going out.

[lorisunshine]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Hi,
I have a similar story. When I was 6 yrs. old, a friend of the family, who had a couple of acres of apple orchards, brought my parents some apple wine. They opened a bottle and had a little glass each. Then they left and my mother went shopping and left me home alone. (People did that way back when).
I thought that was the best apple juice I had ever tasted and somehow I got the cork out and was helping myself liberally to the good stuff.
Mom was back within the hour only to find her offspring "stonestinkingdrunk" as she put it. I still remember the room spinning and trying to walk straight. She packed me into bed (at 12 noon) and apparently I slept for 18 hours straight.

One year, after the Christmas holidays were over and my daughter went back to school, I quickly made her lunch and found some orange juice in a glass bottle in the fridge, which I poured into her lunch bottle. She was in grade 3 then.

That afternoon I got a call from her teacher, who was an extremly kind and gifted educator. He asked me to think of what I had given my daughter for lunch that day. I told him it was a sandwich, a banana and some orange juice. He wanted to know where I got that juice, because my daughter had complained to him that it smelled of liquor. It did indeed.

I had given my poor neglected child the leftover "Sour Puss" (Orange juice and Champagne) that we had served our guests on New Years eve. We had a good laugh about it, but I was never asked again to bring stuff to the bake sales. I guess they had a "trust issue" with stuff that came from my kitchen.
Just thought I share this with you.
Lori

[InnerStrength]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

I have always had issues with confidence/self esteem. Always.
My grandfather was an alcoholic/heavy drinker.
So is my mother - she doesnt drink now.

[satori]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Lots and Lots of practice!

Around 13 or14, I would help myself to the dregs of wine or whatever left over after my parents had been entertaining.
I was regularly helping myself to full bottles of home made wine from my father's (large) stock at 16.

At 17 I remember waking up from being passed out in a ditch after drinking a bottle of my father's wine followed by a half bottle of vodka. (my parents were away for a couple of days)

At 18 I went away from home to university and was blitzed for basically four years solid.
I truly do not remember much of those times at all - although I obviously was still functioning well enough to graduate!

Adventures included my 21st birthday party - which ended in me blacked out from 7pm onwards and waking up with two black eyes sustained as my friends carried me home and suffering a 3 day long hangover from hell.
Always being the life and soul of the party - so much so that people often had to step over me in doorways to get from one room to another in our flat.
Days when i would go on all day drinking sessions and would get through 20 (yes 20) pints of beer.
Days when i was so drunk I had to get my "friends" to help me start my motorcycle so I could ride it home.

After I left uni and got a job and got married, I settled down to more sensible levels of drinking - but still drank most days and every weekend.

I am a practical guy and have always bought houses where I would need to do a lot of work on them.
I would spend the evening working on the house and then have a beer or two when I finished.

I have always been a sporty type - but would have a few beer after a workout or after running a half marathon or competing in a triathlon or WHATEVER I could use as an excuse that day.

Over the years - the one or two beers stopped hitting the spot - so I had a couple more to get the buzz.
And - so it went on - increasing all the time until the beers were taking over and I was drinking them because I HAD to.
Most of the other stuff I used to do stopped getting done because I needed the time fior drinking.

Then after many years of gradual downhill spiral. I finally saw sense - and here I am

My life in a nutshell (I did leave out a couple of bits for brevity!!)

Sad really, isn't it?

Satori

[Waves 2]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

My mum used to brew her own wine and it used to be around, so of course, we children tasted it.

Trouble with some builders triggered drinking to ease the stress and after that it just crept up on me.

Didn't realise I had a problem till last year.

[pixie]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

I remember asking for and receiving tastes of what my parents were drinking - usually wine or whiskey, and loving it even at age 8 or so. I didn't drink a lot until college, and then found I could often drink almost everyone else under the table. I kept that up after college, and the rest is history.

There are alcoholics in my family, and I definitely have self esteem and confidence issues, but I also just love the taste and the warm feeling of the first couple of drinks.

[Mackeral]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

That comfy and a cozy feeling......Also sometimes i think just the fact that i'm not allowed something makes me want it even more....

[Guest]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

The "not allowed" thing has ALWAYS made it worse for me too, Macks.
Satori, wow! You are really making awesome strides considering some of that history. Nice job here lately!
Judie and Jen, I know ALL about you guys:H drunk toddlers. nice.

I remember being in my early teens and crying my eyes out because my family was having a reunion and everything focused around the drinking. My aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents were all slowly getting hammered and I ran to my room, slammed the door and could NOT comprehend WHY everyone had to drink to have a good time. My mom came to comfort me with beer on her breath. I know they were laughing at me.

Couple years later, I stole a bottle of gin from my parents endless supply (they never knew until I told them a couple yrs ago!) and proceeded to get tipsy for the first time. That followed with these fruity beers (gross!) at my next party, and so on and so on. I was usually known as one of the drunkest people at any event. I have this "thing" where I drink and drink--fast-- and feel great and "everyone loves Becca" until I black out and turn into a blabbering moronic idiot. Beautiful, huh?

I would consider both my parents alcoholics. My dad is a binge drinker like me and my mom "needs" 2 glasses of wine every single day and more on weekends. My paternal grandfather died of cirrhosis. At least 3 alcoholic uncles. My maternal grandmother has dementia, but in the earlier stages, she would go into the kitchen, put ice in her glass, then ask "now what am I supposed to put in here? It's time for libation". Every day.

sigh. I'm just doomed from the start too, I guess. But I realize that it's MY responsibility to do something about it. They never had this kind of determination or support, as far as I know.

Who knows what internal struggles they went through. My one uncle I just found out had been an alcoholic. He was gay and pretty much disowned by my grandparents, later to die of AIDS. I really, really loved him a lot. We were kindred, you know? Miss him. GEEZ... off topic, but to bring it back to the original question of how I became the "A" word...

man... I don't know...
and now I'm feeling very sad.

[obzpodboy]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Booze was always a part of the social fabric. Right from the sneaky wee tug of sherry at Gran's to my Father declaring it was time I 'came of age' at around fourteen by plying me with four pints of stout one night on a Pontin's holiday disco. Later, the ability to buy and consume beer (whilst woefully underaged of course) was the golden key to popularity at school. Turning up to the post 'O' level party with a a case of Thunderbird was (such was the contemporary thought) a cast iron guarantee of success with the opposite gender. Later still, late teens maybe, it becomes a kind of badge of honour for your counter-cultural position in society. Now you're at college and you've switched beer for cheap plonk but, neverthless, your juice it remains: the glue binding you and an otherwise rather disparate social group together. Then you're starting work. More money; more lunches; more dinner parties. However much a workaday corporate sell-out you become however, you're drinking exists as a kind of micro-rebellion. Nice house; smart car? You're a dull suburban no-man by the time you hit thirty? Just what you were trying to run away from all those years ago? No matter: you can always reconnect with the 'real you' when you get back home. Domesticity does have a tendency to limit things these days though and, I suppose, it's fair to say my responsibilities as Hubby and Father are well upheld. But the bottle of wine after the kids go down each night remains as much a beacon from the past, beseeching me not to betray that 'micro rebel', as it is a portent for what little future there may be left for me if I don't give it up some time soon.
5 days AF though so who knows....

[Lou]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Well Macks....

i was never a big drinker...sure during my early 20's would go mad of a wkend. But it wasnt untill the last two years of my last relationship that i started dinking heavily...before then i could always take it or leave it. i think we both got to a point where our relationship was on the rocks and so used alcohol to smooth it over....without meaning to be crude..its always easier to sleep with someone you dont fancy that much any more whilst pissed!!! and i guess i just esculated from that...we had several breakups and reunions but it was always alcohol related. I dont blame him cause at the end of the day he didnt force the booze down my throught....but i know that if id never gotten with him i wouldnt be where i am now....we were so bad for eachother and used drink as a way to get over it. which obviously didnt work....so sad and so sad that this has left me with this habit which i have to battle daily to overcome...but hey....theres always light at the end of the tunnel, at least i hope so anyway.

Loves
Lou-Lou x x

[Bluebell]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Booze was always a part of the social fabric. Right from the sneaky wee tug of sherry at Gran's to my Father declaring it was time I 'came of age' at around fourteen by plying me with four pints of stout one night on a Pontin's holiday disco.


Ozpodboy - Ha ha! I can totally relate to both points there! My sister and I were always handed a sherry on Christmas Day by Granma....it didn't matter a jot that we were only 11 and 13 years old. It was tradition. I remember my face going bright red on drinking the sherry. Ha ha! Everybody thought that was cute!

I also have a photograph of myself at 13 years old at Butlins Holiday Camp. I am seated at a table in a bar with a pint of lager in front of me, along with a 20 pack of cigarettes and a box of matches on top. How cute! The amazing thing is, that photo was "staged" by my parents .....what the?

[weemelonhead]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

I became an alcoholic because...I was always an alcoholic.....whether or not I had had a drink when I was younger........... It just took the first one to start me off, ALWAYS drinking more and faster than anyone else I knew...
Funny, but my dad and one of my half brothers are sober alcoholics...they were also always alcoholics I believe. My dad is a fitness freak and was in the air force. When my mum met him, everyone in the squadron used to call him Luke, as the strongest beverage he would mostly drink was lucozade, a fizzy glucose non A/C drink. He never had an alcoholic drink with any problems until about 10 years ago I believe!!!! Until then, he would walk around England for a hobby, regularly sailed, fenced, played squash and tennis and ran from scotland and back before breakfast...get the picture?? I think his problem started when he was working in Saudi Arabia with English folk and started drinking heavily.....................and never looked back..............it just 'clicked'..........he then drank more and more and has tried numerous times to stop the monster, and has succeeded...he has now been sober for a long time, and feels WAY fitter and happier as a result....my step dad is also an alcoholic, unfortunately one that is still drinking and now at deaths door.so whether by nature or nurture, the 'heirloom' has been passed on!!!!! God damn it..why couldn't I have just got a terrible ornament from Aunty Ethel like everyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

I never drank until I was 25 years old. I started dating a older man 15 years my senior and I thought everything he said or did was sosphicated. But let me preface these remarks with my Dad was an alcoholic. I was molested at ages 3, 6 and 9 by three differnt indivuals.My Mother still dosen't belive me. I was the overweight child that always got picked on. So after saying that. I started seeing this man it started with parties, where I drank to be social.It wasfun; I was accepted! Then this relationship turned abusive he would hit me tell me I was worthless and I was lucky to have him because no one else would never want me. So that coupled with the undealt with problems of my childhood, I sought escape. I would drink more and more everytime he cheated on me. I never had the nerve to leave. Where would I go? So I drank to cope.Finally after a beating so severe that I blacked out (I was feeling my soul leave my body literally) I left went to my parents and tried to get it together.I felt like an imposition.(more negative feelings) I met a man who was nice, treated me well. loved me for me. But I didn't love him. like him? yes. attracted to him ?no. But I married him. I thought it was better to havesomeone love me more, than I cared about them,I coundn't be hurt that way. Been married for 15 years now. Would never hurt him by leaving; but in the loneliness of the marriage my drinking picked up. My daughter who lived with us had a son; My beautiful Grandson my reason for living.She married a man who dislikes me and I don't get to see him now after he lived with and I raised him while she was in nursing school.(3 Years) Incredible emptiness. So beween pain of the loss of the Grandson and the loneliness of my marriage I found alcohol to be my friend. I don't have any real friends. They are only friends when they want a favor. Alcohol made me different I could make myself think I was madly in love & I didn't miss the Grandson. My daughter thinks hurting me is sport. So then that is when I hit bottom. Never getting out of my robe starting with screwdrivers at 11am passing out around 7pm. Until my husband gave me a talk to get therapy. He even said that if he were part of the problem he would leave to save me. I knew I had to change. Thank God I found MWO. I am new only one week today. but have cut it down to 2 glasses of wine a night. I hope to change and not to let the things others do affect me so much. But this is the fabric of who I am I have to learn to show my scars and be proud that I dealt with them rather than try to hide them and lead a phony life. Godspeed to us all!

[lushy]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Simey, your story made me sad. I really wish you the best!!! Please stick around.

[Java]

How did you become an Alcaholic?

Okay, here I go

My mom never could handle much to drink, my family was quite different, they are all big drinkers. My dad drinks every night, but doesnt get drunk, my step mom told me about this a couple of months ago. My sister has been AF for a couple of years now due to AA. My uncle almost died due to cirrhosis of the liver b/c of his drinking and a few other family members have problems. I had some problems in my childhood but I;m sure others have as well.

I never got drunk in high school but i did drink occcasionally, I would have a wine cooler or a beer, and to be honest, i even noticed then that something was not right, my body wanted more, and if no one had been around to supervise me, i would have tested it out.

I moved into an apartment when I was 18 and started drinking with friends, picking up something to drink every night was "the thing" we would have wine or beer, whatever we could get our hands on, I did that for about six months then I went away to a school for four months where i could not drink, i was fine. I came home, and resumes my habit.

I then found out I was going to be leaving again, for a while, but this time I could take my habit with me , sort of, i was gone for two years, and could drink for half of that, and i did, everything I could, I partied hard(when i could). I came home....when I came home, drinking was different, now instead of doing it for fun, I did it for fun when out with friends, but i did it at home to feed an addiction, a craving, to go to sleep, to pass time, to aleviate boredom, fear, anxiety...and many other things other people find normal ways to deal with... I was a very sad, very lonely person during a lot of the past two and a half years...I began to lose friends because i started turning down invitations to go out so i could just stay at home and drink by myself. Then it hit a point where all the invitations were gone...and it was just me, a living room, and a bottle of vodka...not much of a life, i would go to work and then try to make all the other time i had on my hands disappear as fast as possible so I wouldnt have to deal with it. I would just drown it, then when I would try to stop, which i thought i could do, you know, just not drink, i found out that i had apparently gotten in deeper than i thought, it was in my brain, I had created a long term habit.

I know I have an alcohol problem, but i do not like to call myself an alcoholic, I may be one, and my family history proves it is probably a bad idea for me to ever drink again, and I agree, but i am not a fan of labels. I have a problem, and I am working on ensuring it does not happen again.

Victoria