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3 months AF.. I remember..

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    #1

    3 months AF.. I remember..

    it seems my first week is so far behind me but it is always right there when i think about taking a drink.
    I remember how it feels to be drunk.
    I remember the panic and axniety.
    I remember waiting for the liquor store to open and hoping noone recognized me.
    I remember buying wine with screw on caps so i could have a few swigs on my way home.
    I remember the feeling of panic at the thought of running out of wine before i passed out.
    I remember sneaking drinks from my inlaws liquor cabinet when noone was looking.
    I remember going to the kids activities and making sure i had a full water bottle of vodka or wine. or being too drunk to even go in the first place.
    I remember not caring if i was drunk driving.. i would never get caught.
    I remember the fights and embarassment i caused myself and my family.
    I remember that no one likes me because of my idiotic stupid confrontational attitude when i was druink (which was always)
    I remember waking up in the middle of the night and drinking the rest of what ever i had left then passiing out again and waking up in the morning and being angry with the kids because i was hung over.

    and the number 1 memory... getting and drinking alcohol was more important to me than my children.

    I rememeber it all. and I keep those memories close to me when i think about drinking again.

    I have allot of making up to do.
    caper
    caper
    AF since Sept 2013...
    :alf:
    Tags: None
    #2
    3 months AF.. I remember..

    Great job on 3 weeks Caper!!

    Keep those memories close to you because as we get farther away it is easy to forget why we are making this life saving decision. Although I seldom if ever need to remind myself of where I have come from, it will always be a great tool to have.

    Great job again, keep it going!!

    Comment

      #3
      3 months AF.. I remember..

      Well done caper on your 3 months alcohol free, And yes its well to remember your past drinking life but dont live in them,You are doing great, keep it up and enjoy what you have achieved as it does and will get better.Well done again.


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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        #4
        3 months AF.. I remember..

        Congratulations on 3 months AF! You're doing great! Keep at it!

        Comment

          #5
          3 months AF.. I remember..

          Way to go Caper! Keep up the great work.
          AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

          Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

          Comment

            #6
            3 months AF.. I remember..

            Congratulations Caper.

            Good on you for taking your life, and self respect back. Keep it going.

            Best wishes to you and your family.

            Bravo!

            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

            Comment

              #7
              3 months AF.. I remember..

              Great for you Caper, three months is something.
              I think the waking up the next day part is the part I'll be most happy to be rid of when I get a few weeks under my belt. I hate the 4:00 a.m. guilty thoughts.

              Wonderful you have been successful!! Easter's looking good...
              Tipplerette

              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
              ? Lao-Tzu

              Comment

                #8
                3 months AF.. I remember..

                Great list - keep it close, do not get complacent, hang on to your achievement with both hands - it is remarkable what a fight it is to get this far and how very quickly it can slip away.
                Well done for getting this far - here is to the next 3 months!
                “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

                Comment

                  #9
                  3 months AF.. I remember..

                  Well done Caper!:goodjob:

                  I remember talking myself into going home without buying more AL because there "should" have been enough already in the cabinet, then panicking and cursing myself for not getting more later.

                  I remember calculating that we spent nearly 80.00 or more a week on AL, and we were struggling from paycheck to paycheck with the bills.

                  I remember being on a forum online that I frequented while drinking, although I never really talked about drinking, and one night a woman asked me if I had been drinking. I remember feeling ashamed.

                  too many bad AL memories to note here...


                  "I like people too much or not at all."                   Sylvia Plath

                  Comment

                    #10
                    3 months AF.. I remember..

                    Congratulations Caper!
                    Yes, do keep those memories vivid when the voice starts calling but also look at your AF time with pride :l
                    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                    Winning since October 24th, 2013

                    Comment

                      #11
                      3 months AF.. I remember..

                      3 months, WOW thats wonderful Now you can spend more time on two wheels!


                      Congrats! Keep it up

                      Attached files [img]/converted_files/1813900=6929-attachment.jpg[/img]
                      Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




                      DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

                      Comment

                        #12
                        3 months AF.. I remember..

                        Great job on 3 months AF!!!

                        Keep that list fresh in your mind and never succumb to "euphoric recall"...that has bitten me in the ass before but now that I am smarter about it and understand that cravings are cravings and will pass, I am better equipped to fight them in the future so I don't let go of the precious gift of sobriety I continueto award myself with every day!
                        Whatever you invest in the circle of LIFE is what comes back to you. Multiplied. What you give to people is what they eventually give back to you. Don't do the math. Just increase your LOVE.

                        BE HAPPY...BE CONNECTED...BE HEALTHY!                         :h

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                          #13
                          3 months AF.. I remember..

                          Thanks for sharing Caper..that is a powerful post xx

                          Comment

                            #14
                            3 months AF.. I remember..

                            :goodjob: caper!
                            CONGRATS on 3 months AF, keep going
                            AF since 03/26/09
                            NF since 05/19/09
                            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                            Comment

                              #15
                              3 months AF.. I remember..

                              I am past 4 months .. i am rereading my posts so it stays alive in my head WHY i quit.. I am so thankful for this website i can't tell you. It is truly helping me quit and cope and to be able to read my own words.. priceless. and all the support.. truly, truly a blessing

                              XOXOXOXO

                              caper
                              caper
                              AF since Sept 2013...
                              :alf:

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