I've done 21 days af and 26 days with no cigs. been feeling more bluesy since i stopped I did used to drink 21 -35 units a week in 2-3 nights so i was a binge driner.physically i feel loads better than i did but mentally feel flat.
I'm a worrier by nature, i worry about what people think of me all the time - including my friends.
i'm worried that they will think i'm boring and that if i don't go out on a friday or a saturday that they will think i'm boring and i will be shunned.i worry that if I'm not there any way and drinking they will forget about me.
i feel pathetic even saying that, it bugs me that it matters so much, I've seen a counsellor about low self esteem before.
I know i need to get on with liking myself and thinking what do i want to do, or what do i think but it's not always that easy. if you met me you would think i was confident and chirpy - which makes it worse in some ways but in some ways helps - at least i know that me exists on some level.
now i'm stressing abotu if i want to go out tonight/should I go out tonight. I'm working at home today so it'd be nice to see people but I don't want a full on evening.
I've got a book of affirmations, I'm off for a run.
I feel exhausted from thinking about all of this, i have taken some 5htp, and l tyrsine been on for nearly a week and waiting for it to work.i feel like a teenager and want to shake myself out of this.
Comment