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    fed up with being fed up

    hello
    I've done 21 days af and 26 days with no cigs. been feeling more bluesy since i stopped I did used to drink 21 -35 units a week in 2-3 nights so i was a binge driner.physically i feel loads better than i did but mentally feel flat.

    I'm a worrier by nature, i worry about what people think of me all the time - including my friends.
    i'm worried that they will think i'm boring and that if i don't go out on a friday or a saturday that they will think i'm boring and i will be shunned.i worry that if I'm not there any way and drinking they will forget about me.
    i feel pathetic even saying that, it bugs me that it matters so much, I've seen a counsellor about low self esteem before.

    I know i need to get on with liking myself and thinking what do i want to do, or what do i think but it's not always that easy. if you met me you would think i was confident and chirpy - which makes it worse in some ways but in some ways helps - at least i know that me exists on some level.
    now i'm stressing abotu if i want to go out tonight/should I go out tonight. I'm working at home today so it'd be nice to see people but I don't want a full on evening.
    I've got a book of affirmations, I'm off for a run.
    I feel exhausted from thinking about all of this, i have taken some 5htp, and l tyrsine been on for nearly a week and waiting for it to work.i feel like a teenager and want to shake myself out of this.
    one day at a time

    #2
    fed up with being fed up

    Bear, please know what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Coming off of alcohol is a very up and down time.

    Your friends will understand you are trying to better yourself/life if they are really your friends.

    You are doing great, and keep up the good work. Weekends are tough, as it is generally a time we let loose, relax and have a few bevies. Keep strong.

    Remember you are doing this for you............... And this is the best gift you can give yourself!

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      #3
      fed up with being fed up

      when should i expect to feel better, i feel angry,anxious,worried the majority if the time. also don't want to act o nany major feelings about friendships in case it's the lack of booze/nicotine talking
      I also beat myself up a lot - can see why i needed to drink to give myself a break from my own criticism/negative thoughts!!
      thanks for replying
      one day at a time

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        #4
        fed up with being fed up

        It varies for each and every person. The feeling well will come when your body is feeling a bit more balanced. It does take some time. I still go through some pretty wild moods! It is almost like a split personality sometimes and comes on like a freight train for no apparent reason!! They are getting less, but when it hits, it smacks me in the face. I sit there and think 'why in the hell am I so angry????' We are trying to change, the brain is healing and we are probably feeling angry and negative for all sorts of reasons. Just know from what I have read in posts here, what we are feeling is very normal. We are learning how to cope now instead of suppressing everything from the alcohol. It is trying, but in the long run, if I don't kill anyone in the process, it will be worth it!!!

        You quit smoking too, so you are dealing with total detox! You should give yourself some credit for coming along this far! I would suggest just being kind to yourself.

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          #5
          fed up with being fed up

          thanks - that helps a bit. I'm off for a run now which is much needed and always sorts my head out.
          it is like growing up all over again isn't it? i'm trying to recreate my identity as a sober/non smoking person and not equate that with boring.I know it isn't but it's years of conditioning that i'm shaking up.

          it's far more original to be sober and do our own thing, rather than follow the crowd (which is what i was doing i know not every drinker is)
          I have wanted to do this for ages but potential rejection from others held me back.
          anyway bla bla bla - best i can do is get my bear self running round the park with my ipod.
          thanks again xxx
          one day at a time

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            #6
            fed up with being fed up

            OOoooER!

            Its a bit chilly to just now to go running "bear"



            Satori
            "Though there are many paths at the foot of the mountain - all those who reach the top see the same moon - as any fule kno"

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              #7
              fed up with being fed up

              tee hee! liked that thank you - well I'm back and feeling bit better - kept clothes on too..
              one day at a time

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                #8
                fed up with being fed up

                Hey Bear! Good job on going for the run! Isn't it funny how we think we should be 'all that'...later in life, one has the challenge to be 'all that', without 'all that'...so you are not missing anything. Be glad that you are wise enough to redefine who you are and to let go of all that stuff you thought made you interesting..all that stuff is just a passing illusion anyway, you will be a far more interesting person without those things anyway...

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