Being called a DRUNK!

[daisy]

Whenever me and hubby fight he calls me drunk. Like I dont know I have a drinking problem!!
The thing is that it hurts. I know it's true but I really am trying to stop and moderate. He is supportive of me and says he is proud of me but whenver we have an srgument he call me a drunk b**** or tells me to go drink. Anyone else have this problem??

[Rocky]

Being called a DRUNK!

Oh sweetie, I do not have that situation, but I understand..in an argument humans hit where it hurts...

Just remember you are as special a person as anyone else. You share this addiction that we all do here, and it does not make you less a human, and especially in Gods eyes.

Love yourself, set your sights on continuing to beat this.

We are all here for you.

Prayers and best wishes to you.

[Allie]

Being called a DRUNK!

Daisy,
My husband has never called me a drunk, but it has on more than one occasion come up during a bad argument when that issue had nothing whatsoever to do with what we were orginally arguing about. In hindsight, my husband has done it at times when he was trying to avoid the issue we were arguing about, or he knew he was guilty or wrong about something I was upset with him about, so rather than deal with the issue at hand, it was easier to remind me that I am "worse." I think they say it when they themselves are feeling insecure and it is manipulation. My husband rarely brings it up when arguing, but in the heat of anger, he will occassionally say something hurtful in regards to my drinking. And YES, it does hurt. That's why they do it. I usually respond by saying to him that at least I am willing to admit my issue and have nothing to hide about it, and am a work in progress. I have made headway in this area by talking to him about it later when we are not arguing, and that is really comes across cowardly to throw a struggle of mine in my face during the heat of an argument as a way to avoid the issue at hand and make me feel unworthy to call him on the carpet about HIS issues. He always apologizes if I handle it right.

Hope this helps...
Allie

[AAthlete]

Being called a DRUNK!

Daisy, you say that he is supportive of you trying to quit, but it sure doesn't sound like it. He knows he is throwing out the most hurtful thing he can at you in an effort to 'win' the argument, and to me that's not playing fair.

I would have a frank talk to let him know how much that hurts you. If he is on your side he'll knock it off.

I wish you the best.

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

Sorry Daisy, I am a nice person but.....I'd kill him.
How dare he attack you on something that you are working on like he has no weakness of his own.

So sorry for this strong opinion. Just keep working on yourself and it will pay off in the end.

[Accountable for Me]

Being called a DRUNK!

My soon to be ex husband calls me a drunk when we argue. I just look at him and laugh! He has been a piss-tank since he was 13yrs old, and not to mention has smoked pot chronically since then as well. Not to mention he has dribbled with harder drugs because he can't say no. However it still hurts like hell to be called a drunk. Because I was one!! Funny thing is now we are getting divorced because he is continuing to be a drunk/drug addict, and has been behaving like one. (attitude/infedilty). So who is laughing now?? ME! And I am doing this AF thing for me!!! Nothing or no ones opinions will drag me back into the chaotic life of drinking.

(sorry, I guess I kind of led astray with my post here). But anywho....

Just keep your chin up and keep working on yourself. Try not to internalize anything. Stay strong and keep fighting to get where you want to in your life!!!

[weemelonhead]

Being called a DRUNK!

Hi...I think Rocky's right....in an argument, humans hit where it hurts....regardless of any subsequent pain it may cause......If you weren't a drinker, there would be another arrow for him to aim.....and if you're anything like me in a disagreement, you might do the same?????
I think Accountable is right....who has the last laugh??? When YOU know what YOU are doing to rectify a harmful lifestyle, I'd ignore stuff said in the heat of the moment (not always easy I know), and just have a quiet, proud chuckle to yourself....You're doing good Daisychain ....let your voice to yourself be WAY louder than his xxx

[DidItForMe]

Being called a DRUNK!

Hi Daisy:

I have the same thing happen with my husband. And it's true, I am a drunk, but it hurts like hell when he says it. What's funny is that when I am trying to drink less or keep alcohol out of the house all together, he is the one that goes out and buys it. He doesn't drink, so he is obviously buying it for me. It's like he doesn't want me to stop, to be in control of myself, and see that I am a strong, worthwhile human being. The less I drink, the more I see him for who he is, and I can see that must be scary for him cause I really think he is an asshole most of the time now.

I know it hurts, but hang in there. YOU are worth the effort YOU are making here.

xxxx

[southernbelle47]

Being called a DRUNK!

Sorry..........I can't think of anything nice to say about him.......
He is a selfcentered %$#@@$%.......

Now I feel better!

Tone of voice and body language "say" most ...but those words are very hurtful!

I've heard it said that "hurting people ....hurt people"......

Just a thought.

:l Nancy

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

I'd still kill him.

[Popeye]

Being called a DRUNK!

It hurts when someone hits you in a soft spot, and people who know you will know your softest spots.
I've not had it so bad, but there is always the inferrence.

Accountable...good for you!

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

At the very least let the house hold pets lick his food first before you put it on his plate.
Then just smile at him!

[Accountable for Me]

Being called a DRUNK!

Gabby - LOL!

[ihavebeenherkind]

Being called a DRUNK!

How terrible! That's not being supportive (even if he's supportive at other times, what we say in anger can't be taken back later, it's already said). That's just plain mean, hurtful, and juvenille.

If it were my household, that would be a universal, unequivocal signal that "this conversation is OVER" because clearly the person that I was TALKING WITH has switched to a program of THROWING HURTFUL WORDS and that's when it's time for everyone to retreat to their corners, breathe, take a nap, take a walk, and get a grip. There is no reason to accept or stick around for that hurtful talk.

You should be proud of what you are doing for yourself and for your relationships by moderating and he should be proud of it too, even when he's angry.

Hugs!

[pixie]

Being called a DRUNK!

Gabby - you go girl!

Daisy, my husband has never called me a drunk, but he has brought up my drinking in arguments, along the lines of "well maybe if you weren't drinking so much...". And all I can think of is 'you sanctimonious a@%!'.

But others are right that it's just a lazy ploy to take a jab at you or change the subject, instead of facing the real issue. Recognize it for the little that it is, and keep on working on yourself - eventually he won't be able to use that feeble dig.

pixie