Being called a DRUNK!

[daisy]

Being called a DRUNK!

Thank u all for all your wonderful words of advice.
He did say later on last night that he said it to hurt me. I told him it didnt hurt me. He looked surorised and i told him again that it doesnt hurt me.I didnt want him to know that it did. Maybe he wont say it again.
If he does I will just smile and laugh inside. I know Im working on this and I wont let him bring me down when he's in a mood.
Thanks again everyone!
By the way I like your idea Gabby! LOL. Maybe I will next time!

[Accountable for Me]

Being called a DRUNK!

Keep strong Daisy! You are bettering yourself and that is ALL that matters!

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

Good Daisy.....need anymore ideas, just let me know.
I have lots of em.

; )

[Paddy]

Being called a DRUNK!

I am not proud to be of the male species when I hear someone being like this with their wife. Especially, because I'm on this site for having the same problem as you Daisy. But, either maybe your husband is really hurt in seeing what is happening to you. And being as inarticulate as men sometimes are, he is just suffering of verbal diarrhea and blurting out what he shouldn't ... Don't get me wrong, but when men talk to men, they sometimes say those things with a motivation of giving their best friend a good kick up the ass (excuse mon fran?ais). It's no excuse, but maybe a fresh look at maybe some frustration your hubby might feel.

Sorry Gabby and Nancy, I understand how you feel. Just wanted to give some alternative viewpoint. But in essence I really feel one should treat one's wife with deep respect and not hurt her, really!

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

I'm glad there are some men like you Paddy in the world. Sorry but I also think fewer rather than more.

I DO SEE THAT THEY EXSIST....men that is that can be respectful to women.
I am learning that this is a very complex subject and in fact that I am very fascinated with. Why are some men like that? Millions of books on the subject and after getting out of an abusive marriage (24 years worth) I just can't seem to learn enough. Verbal and Emotional abuse can really be the worst. I dunno.....at this point of my life....I just have no tolerance at all. Thats why I am trying to learn and understand....hopefully to get to a point of well not so much forgiveness but less anger.

But when I hear it happening to anther woman...my hair just stands. Maybe its cuz what I put up with myself for way to long. The biggest guilt I carry now is what my 3 sons learned from it. And what I feel so strongly about now....men treating women respectfully....maybe I contributed to teaching the opposite to my sons by putting up with all to much from their dad....thinking it was the best to stay in the marriage FOR the kids. And now....what have they learned?

Anyway....dont want to ramble.....just wish I was stronger - sooner. Would have been better for everyone.

So Daisy....work on yourself.....get strong.....and DON'T BE PUTTIN UP WITH THAT CRAP. Its not your job to analyze what he really means by his verbal abuse. But it is your job to protect yourself and your kids.
So dont let the drink screw ya up by lettin time get away from ya before everyone is damaged and to hard to fix it.

And a little dog licks along the way cant hurt.

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

I dont know how I did that twice....silly me.

[kitkatsue]

Being called a DRUNK!

I like the way you think Gabby!!

I to am separated from a jack @$$ that I plan to divorce as soon as possible. When we were together he would complain about my drinking which I knew was a problem but that was the kettle calling the pot black!!
I don't have four DUI's under my belt. And I never cheated, but when we bring that up in an argument he takes off, coward!!

And I did let the cat put his butt on my ex's face when he was asleep does that count?:H

Anyway I don't know if this helps! And Gabby aside from the guys here I haven't met any nice ones lately that weren't married or gay. Hope that doesn't offend anyone.

kitkat

[Paddy]

Being called a DRUNK!

Sorry to hear what happened to both of you Gabbs and kitkat. Unfortunately, I do have to agree with you that males of the abusive kind seem to be in the majority in the world ... I'm proud to say, though, that my parents have been married for 40 years this year. Although my mum has an alcohol problem, only my dad and I talk about it. I'm 35 and see my parents twice a year, due to working overseas. I also have a drinking problem, incidentally, so I can relate to my mum.

But all these things aside, the most important thing for you gals is not to get bitter. The fact that some guys are real ba?&%rds should not close you up to those who are good value. And those do exist. Albeit not in pubs ...

Anyway, just a tip of a fellow (anonymous) site user

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

Thanks Paddy, I know....there are good guys out there. I actually think I found one. Wont be gettin married tho.....not uh....not me....never ever ever again. Only need to do that once in a lifetime and if it doesnt work well so be it. (I think it should be illegal after that).

But I think being bitter was important. For me....it was my survival. If I never got to the bitter stage, which was the core of the intensity and the severity of my pain....I would have never felt the relentness determination to terminate that relationship.

At times I thought I would never and could never get there. But allowing myself to embrace that feeling of bitterness has gotten me to where I am today. I really dont think I would be freed of that miserable marriage, 8 months AF, and aproaching the second part of my life in a healthier, happier and more functioning way.

Bitterness saved me.

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

And ya Kitkat.....the cats butt on the face defintally counts!

[Accountable for Me]

Being called a DRUNK!

OK - where are these 'so called' good guys??

[gabby]

Being called a DRUNK!

On the path of recovery.