Turning the Tables

[BoozeFreeFox]

OK, 3 weeks AF here.
It's cold as hell here and just great weather for snuggling in and....having some wine.
I really wanted to last night. After 21 straight WONDERFUL days (especially wonderful NIGHTS) however, a funny thing happened:

I couldn't get myself to do it. It was as if the "can't get myself to NOT have a glass of wine" mentality of a month ago had presented itself in reverse. I simply couldn't get myself to possibly start in on the undoing of the best three weeks I've had in a good, long time. I feel better, I'm eating better, I'm running better, interacting better, etc...

I think something is really starting to happen here. Thank you all for the encouragement you've offered me to help me get to this point. When you're drinking every day, that feeling of not being able to visualize your evenings without booze is REALLY frustrating. Many of you here though told me to "hang in there" and that a new mentality would slowly start to emerge. Well, I think I'm seeing some of that.

Anyone else here experience this same shift in your psyche, especially as it relates to booze?

Also, anyone here who can not see youself making it through your evenings without booze--YOU CAN DO IT--and once you get a few days to weeks under your belt, you will start to see a new you!!

BFF

[Java]

Turning the Tables

BFF and am in the same place you are, my first week was not pleasant, by I am a runner, have been for years, and I run in races as well. I have been AF for 23 days now and the though of ruining that stretch of good health, great training, good sleep, and all the other stuff i managed to accompish sickens me. I still get a little voice in my head, but it is so very rare considereing what it was three weeks ago, and i am able to scare it away in an instant!!!

So i wil concur: ANYONE NEW: we were too, a couple of weeks ago, it gets much better, you will find yourself not wanting to go back to that life if you chose to make a change,

[AAthlete]

Turning the Tables

BFF, I agree 100% with you.

I was laying in bed last night and had this vague feeling that having a drink during the Superbowl tomorrow might feel good. But, when I thought actually REALLY thought about taking that drink it almost made me sick to my stomach. I really do think that, after almost three weeks AF, my desire to drink has done a 180.

Congrats to both you and Victoria on your AFF days, and you're right, if we can do it anyone can!

[southernbelle47]

Turning the Tables

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND AMEN!!!!!!!!!

Last night as I sat on the sofa watching tv and crocheting, the thought of drinking did come........but then the thought of a wonderful nights sleep completely obliterated it!!!

It IS worth waiting for....I now sleep at least eight hours and have dreams again!

Keep up the good work guys! See you in my dreams!

:h Nancy

[skootiemom]

Turning the Tables

I whole heartedly agree. 25 days AF here and something has changed in my brain. Raining and cold here last night and I too thought how nice it would be to hold a nice big glass of red wine while watching a movie with my husband. I visualized the process- it felt good to hold it- it smelled great... but when it hit my stomach- it burned??? Almost made me sick just thinking about it and I have no desire to drink again, although my original goal was 30 days AF and mods.

I think the shift has come from feeling so good for so many consecutive days and the sleep being quality, dreamy dream sleeps! The first weeks were hard- kinda like the first weeks amd months after the loss of a loved one. The first weekend, the first stressful day, the first special event, birthday party, family gathering, etc. Once you have tackled each of those scenarios without booze, the next time around does not feel so daunting.

All this being said, there are thing I DO miss about having booze in my life and I would be kidding myself and giving others on here a false sense of what it is like to give it up. Kinda like a yearning for an old flame... as the time passes, you tend to forget the bad stuff and the reasons why you broke up....because it was not all bad....and DANG he looks good now.... but then you give your head a shake and have a friend ( my MWO'ers ) to remind you that all the bad stuff was not worth the few good times.... and you MOVE ON!

Skootie

[Reenie]

Turning the Tables

All: It's been 24 boozles days for me. It's getting easier and easier to abstain. I'm sleeping better and am a little happier. I'm waking up feeling good and am doing the best I can do with handling the pressures of the day. The last time I drank, I puked my guts out for 5 hours. I know that if I pick up one drink, it will lead to 5 or more. I also know I'll be real sick. I have other things to do then worship the porcelin bowl. I was around alcohol all weekend. My husband and I went to Atlantic City with four other couples over the weekend. I was the only one not drinking. I at first craved a glass of wine, but refrained. I knew in the long run it wasn't worth it. It was interesting being the only sober person in the crowd. The conversations were entertainig. As time went on, some of the individuals either talked non stop or kept repeating themselves. It got annoying. I'm chatty when I'm straight. I would hate to see what I'm like when I'm drinking. Very annoying I'm sure. I'm so happy I can remember my weekend and not have to worry about saying something stupid and having to deal with a raging head ache. Abstinance is becoming more and more worth it. I hope I can keep going. One day at a time is all I can do.

[Accountable for Me]

Turning the Tables

Reenie - that is so great! It is ANNOYING listening to people who have had a few too many to drinks! I have been told I repeat myself... YIKES!

Good job for keeping so strong!

[Reenie]

Turning the Tables

Accountable - In addition to the repeat stories, the conversation got louder and louder. One individual turned into a zombie and knocked over a glass of red wine getting it all over his white oxford shirt. He never did get around to ordering his dinner. His girl friend walked him back up to the hotel room and put him to bed at 8 pm. One of the women in our group turned into a jekly & hyde and was instigating a fight with her husband. Her eyes glazed over and turned into the excorsist. I thought there was going to be a nasty fight. Meanwhile the group of us was suppossed to be having a nice dinner.... and it was....but just a little crazy. Our bill came to $1,200. It was entertainment and dinner all rolled into one. I'm glad it wasn't me in the spot light. I've had several weekends now where I've been waking up feeling guilt free and not having to worry or make apologies for what I did the night before. It's a good feeling. I hope to keep it up. -Reenie

[Rags]

Turning the Tables

Booze Free, and everyone else,
Wow, Those posts are really inspiring. I keep aiming for total AF but somehow round day 6 I have a drink, then start all over again going AF on day 7... which becomes day 1. Very frustrating. I'm on Day 3 at the moment. (again).

This post is really encouraging and giving me something to look forward to. Thanks to all of you.
Rags

[Reenie]

Turning the Tables

Rags,

Keep yourself busy. Indulge yourself in a good book, movies or something else you like to do in your spare time. Just keep busy and be good to yourself. I look forward to hearing how you are doing after day 6. My "fall off" day is usually day 4. Now that I'm over that hump, I want to keep going. My mind is clearer, I'm sleeping better, and I'm not spending my time patching up all the stupid things I've said and done.

Good luck... You can do it!
Reenie

[Rags]

Turning the Tables

Thanks Renee,
I'll keep you informed. Thanks for your confidence in me. It is so heartening to klnow there are people such as yourself who are there , and take the time to help others by responding to posts. What a great comunity MWO is.
I'll let you know when I get to day 8....9...10...
Thanks again
Rags.

[Roxy1234]

Turning the Tables

Guys,
I really really REALLY needed to read these encouraging posts. I have been so depressed the past few days because this whole thing seems so hopeless and futile. I'll have two or three AF days, followed by more 1 or 2-bottle wine days. The more I fail, the less hopeful I feel, the harder it is to pick back up with Day 1.

Today I finally figured out that a huge part of my problem is that I am BORED with my life. When I take the supplements I really have no cravings to speak of. I feel fantastic and on top of the world. I can sleep and I love the way I feel being AF. But the minute I get to feeling "too good," all bets are off and I start back in with the self sabatoge. It's truly scary.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for posting about your successes. It gives me hope that things will turn around for me as well.

Roxy

[Accountable for Me]

Turning the Tables

Hang in there Roxy. That was my biggest problem too. The bored thing along with the 'feeling too good' and all is out the window again. It is such a roller coaster ride. You sound like you are getting better and better at this. It just takes practice and willpower. It will happen for you if you keep trying.

Oh, and by the way - your avatar is HILARIOUS! Don't know what it is about a green, galloping seal with jaded teeth, but it is something else!

Hang in there kiddo! I know you can do it. Perserverance and don't be afraid of feeling good. You deserve to feel your best. That is what AF is all about!

[rivergirl]

Turning the Tables

Roxy, I know just how you feel. I used to be the same way - I would go all week and then drink a bottle of cheap champagne Friday, Saturday and Sunday night; feel rotten; resolve again - and repeat the cycle the next week.

Sometimes I would get through the weekend with a great effort but I always felt an unconscious promise that I would "make it up to myself" with a night - just me and my champagne. This sounds pretty darn repulsive doesn't it? I haven't written this out before.

So what changed for me. Heck - the biggest change I can attribute to the hypno tapes - 38 days AF today and I can hardly believe it -my brain feels different. Guys, if I fall of this wagon I'll do anything to get back on - but right now it feels as though my seat belt is on and the road is clear.

Rivergirl

[suz2007]

Turning the Tables

Baby steps

:thanks: These are inspiring, I haven't had any AF days, the Compral isn't doing it. IF I have NONE, it seems easier, but once I have one glass of wine, well....there is no such thing as one for me. So far, any day I make it all they way to 10:00 pm with only water, my husband will say I'm doing so well, then ask if I'd like just one glass....it's OK to have just one. My first thought, well if I only have one, that glass better not have a stem on it! At least most times I can keep it to 3, which is still an improvement.

I found a letter I got from a doctor I sent correcpondence to yesterday regarding this subject,...it was dated January, 1997. Wow, another decade with no change....that was a wake up call I can't ignore. So, I'm going to put reminders in Outlook when to take my pills and supplements, I forget so often. I can say I am better than before, and will continue to try. Thank you all for sharing.
-Suz