A feeling of deja vu - can anyone help me crack this cycle?

[LillyE]

A feeling of deja vu - can anyone help me crack this cycle?

Also, Over It, THANK YOU for that image of me on the plane coming back proud as anything. I would be. And if I could not drink there - and still enjoy myself - it'd also show me I could do it anytime, anywhere. You know, I've only been really thinking how I can't not drink there - is it just an excuse to put it off further? I need to seriously spend some time contemplating the alternate reality - what it'd be like not to? How I'd do that? Why it'd be cool? I'm going to try and give that thought at least equal headspace to the 'there's no way' thoughts and see if I can make it take hold a bit.

[Unwasted]

A feeling of deja vu - can anyone help me crack this cycle?

I do think each time I manage to go even a short spell it does strengthen at least my knowledge, if not my will enough yet, that not drinking is really better for me in every way.

Lilly, I think this is true. The fact that you are here, that you keep trying and getting together chunks of AF time even if you do cave and go back to drinking tells me that you have a very good chance of success. I wanted to stop drinking (in my head) for close to two years but just couldn't get there. I would bargain with myself - in the morning I was done emphatically but by evening I was pouring another drink. To have that resolve only to fail hours later kept me in a torrent of frustration. I would ask myself, how in the hell I could keep doing this to myself. But, invariably I would. Until...........one time, and that time has brought me to five months of sobriety.

I believe that the ups and downs are part of the process and that if you keep at it you'll get sick enough of alcohol and finally something will click for you. All of the things that build up and finally send you over the edge to being able to stop drinking are little "interventions" that have a cumulative effect. At least that's how it worked for me.

Wishing you the best........keep reading, posting, replacing alcohol with other things like a long walk, a hot bath, and you brain will eventually like the good things better than the torture of alcohol! :lilheart: