I need some encouragement

[mama bear]

I am taking anatabuse, but my head is really messing with me right now. I am actually kind of depressed about not drinking....I cannot get my head around it.
Can you some of you happily sober give me some sage advice?
I would really appreciate it.

[finallydone]

I need some encouragement

Hi mama bear! I know exactly how your feeling. The one thing I have learned is that the depression fades in time. When I start feeling down about not drinking I make a list of why drinking would get me even more down. Kind of like a pros and cons list. Holidays and weekends bring on my depression a little more than usual. When I get that I can't drink and I depressed feeling I go a jog and for whatever reason it works for me. Or a nice long hot shower. Hope you feel better!!

[JackieClaire]

I need some encouragement

As a long term abber I wouldn't actually say I've been happily sober all that time. There's been some real rough spots like family deaths, huge financial worries and that awful empty nest syndrome but in all that time it's been a lot better than the drinking myself daft.

I know from bitter experience the awful guilt, self doubt and depression the stop- starting cycle can bring.

I know MB, that you've had some weeks AF more often and that but all I can advise is to get a great big chunk of AF time under your belt. I'm not just talking 30 days but beyond.

Getting sober can be quite simple but living sober is the one to work on.

My sobriety is first in my life, above and beyond anything else. Make it yours.

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

thanks

[momof3]

I need some encouragement

Mama Bear,

As you know, the initial phase is tough. Your body and mind are used to the alcohol so when you don't get it, cravings, depression, etc. settle in. It does take time. What worked for me was to stay busy so I did not dwell on not drinking or feeling deprived. Take a walk or bath, go for a drive, shopping, exercise, whatever it takes. Drink lots of water.

Also, have you checked out the toolbox thread in the monthly abstinence thread? Lots of great tips.

:h:lM3

[Prairie Fairy]

I need some encouragement

Sending support. All I can send - I clearly can't send any cogent advice - in there with you. Hugs

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

I haven't thought about the empty nest thing.....but my boys have grown up and I have alot more free time......

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

thanks Molls...I have had 45 days before...but really want this this time. And I appreciate your point of REALLY what happens, not just to me...
by the way...you are ROCKIN it now!!

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

yep it's time...but why am I so stupidly bummed out about it instead of celebrating the good things that will I happen if I stick with it??

[Lavande]

I need some encouragement

Mama, what the others said about distraction is really important during the early days!
I found I when drinking thoughts entered my consciousness I had to stop whatever it was I was doing & go do something completely different. Distraction does work but you have to keep at it, stay on guard
I have way too much time on my hands, too much time alone, etc. which could all be triggers for me. Picking up a half a dozen new hobbies, getting outside in the nice weather, etc. all really help!

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

good thing I am going to the movies tonight!!
It's a pub theatre and hubs and sister in law will be drinking so I will be pouting a little....but I will feel good in the morning....
Got to work on this deprivation thing.....

[nicelife]

I need some encouragement

Oh Mamma - you give so much to all here. I always feel uncomfortable about giving advice. I think you pretty much know my story so I'm no diff than anyone else who battles this. I doubt I have anything more sensible/helpful to say than what has already been said. We are lucky to have such wise support here.

What I'm going to do is send you THE MOST powerful cyber hugs your way and that should help things a little......

Lots of love to you Mamma

Nicey
Xxxxxxxxxxxx

[tlrgs]

I need some encouragement

hey there mama sorry i havent been around but you have my number use it anytime sweet thing and always remamer i believe in you .. you have what it takes to get where you want to be in life

[NoraC]

I need some encouragement

Sending you hugs :l:l You have been given excellent advise (which I am going to read & follow too). :h

[Rusty]

I need some encouragement

Hi Mama Bear,

It's been a while since we've "spoken." I so can understand the deprivation thinking. Early on, I felt the same way because most members of my family drink. Especially at family functions, I felt like I was being punished because I couldn't drink. It's not fair that I can't drink!!! I used to say to myself. My therapist cleared that up for me. She told me, "it's not what you have in your hand, it's the company you're with that makes it fun (or not fun). She was right. Antabuse takes away the decision to drink or not to drink, but it does not answer the question of why we drink.

I thought you might remember this excellent post from JohnnyH, 7/6/2010, on gratitude vs. deprivation thinking:

15 Points to consider when confronted with the urge to take a drink
1. Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy, drunken drinking and
doing without just one small drink.
2. Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude that you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong with
you before it was too late.
3. EXPECT as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time (and it may be a long one), you will
recuringly experience.
(a) The conscious, nagging craving for a drink.
(b) The sudden, all but compelling impluse just to take a drink.
(c) The craving, not for a drinks as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave
you.
4. Remember that the times you don't want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to
take one when you do want it.
5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live the day without taking a
drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.
6. Don't for a split second allow yourself to think: 'Isn't it a pity or a mean injustice that I can't take a drink
like so-called normal people'.
7. Don't allow yourself to either think about or talk about any real or imgagined pleasure you once did get
from drinking
8. Don't permit yourself to think a drink or two would make some bad situation better, or at least easier to
live with. Substitute the thought : 'One drink will make it worse - One drink will mean a drunk.'
9. Minimise your situation. Others have greater problems, how joyful such people would be if their problem
could be solved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully how lucky you are to have so
simple and small a problem.
10. Cultivate and woo enjoyment of sobriety.
a) how good it is to be free of shame and guilt
b) how good it is to be free of the consequences of a drunk just ended or of a coming drunk you've been
never able to prevent before.
c) how good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, and of their
mingled pity and contempt
d) How good it is to be free of fear.
11. Catalogue and RE-Catalogue the positive enjoyments of sobriety, such as:
a) The simple ability to sleep and eat properly; and wake up glad you're alive; glad you were sober
yesterday; and glad you have the privilige of staying sober today
b) the ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all
your faculties.
12. Cultivate a helpful association of ideas:
a) Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and fear you have ever known.
b) Associate a drink as bein the only thing that can destroy you newfound happiness, and take from you
your self-respect and peace of mind.
13. Cultivate Grattitude:
a) Grattitude that so much can be yours for so small a price;
b) Grattitude that you can trade just one drink for all the happiness sobriety gives you.
c) Grattitude that MWO (AA) exists, and you found out about it in time.
d) Grattitude that you are an alcoholic, you are not a bad or wicked person, but you have been in the grip
of a complusion.
e) Grattitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss
the drink that you're doing without.
14. Seek out ways to help other alcoholics - and remember the first way to help others is to stay sober
yourself.
15. And don't forget, when the heart is heavy and resistance is low, and the mind is troubled and confused,
there is much comfort in a true and understanding friend standing by. You have that friend in MWO (AA).
__________________AF since 15th March 2010

Pm if you would like. I would love to hear from you.:l BTW, I love your chic new look with those amazing glasses. You look fantastic!