I need some encouragement

[Doggygirl]

I need some encouragement

Hi MB. So much great advice here already - I just want to add my words of support to your thread. I am rooting for you to find your way out.

mama bear;1293342 wrote: yep it's time...but why am I so stupidly bummed out about it instead of celebrating the good things that will I happen if I stick with it??

As M3 pointed out, there is SO MUCH going on right now chemically in your body and especially your brain. Positive thinking is very powerful. Gratitude rather than deprivation thinking is very very powerful. These things make a difference, however your body chemistry still needs time to work through all the changes. It's not magic, that's for sure.

What finally motivating me to do ANYTHING to stay sober (putting my sobriety first - like Molly!) was realizing that stopping and starting and stopping and starting was sheer misery. How many more miserable Day 1's, Day 2's, Day 3's did I really want to put myself through?????

Life truly is SO GOOD once you can find your way out of that stop start stop start cycle. I know you believe that or you wouldn't still be here trying. Grab on to your AF days with both hands and don't let go.

I too would not be going to a bar tonight. Some people manage to quit under those circumstances though, so it's not a deal breaker. Just don't make things harder on yourself than necessary. That bar will still be there down the road. You can always decide later in your AF journey whether hanging out in bars is going to be part of your life or not.

Wishing you well MB! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If I can do it, and all these other people here can do it, then you can do it too.

DG

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

thank you so much everyone. I went to the movies and had a great time. It can be done.....I just need to keep being strong!! AB will help for now. And Hubs said he would quit if it helps!!

[NoraC]

I need some encouragement

Glad you had fun! Thanks for starting this thread, Mama! So much great advise here. :h

[DriftyAlison0]

I need some encouragement

Being sober is so much better then being drunk. I have a friend who had way too much last week and people was still buying her shots. I find it depressing that she can barely remember her birthday party......I don't personally see the fun in that. Being sober, you don't drink too much, and you remember more. I see the fun in being able to enjoy yourself, and not only during the party, but afterwords to. What fun is AL when you get so drunk that your sober friend have to help you to the car, holding your hair while you puke your guts out, and you not remembering the day after and have a terrible hangover. I just find drinking depressing period especially because people are stuck thinking that you need AL to have fun when you don't. Us sober ppl can wake up the next morning and still have fun while those who drank the night before will probably be too sick to have fun.

Hang in there Mama! You can do it!

[DriftyAlison0]

I need some encouragement

Another thing. Drinking is depressing when your very pregnant daughter has to help you to bed. Thankfully my friend (different from the birthday girl) quit drinking. She wanted to quit for her Grandson and I am so proud of her. I have even told her that I can't wait to share some Shirley temples with her. I know that she can do this because when she puts her mind to something, she does it (I did give her this site btw).

[startingover]

I need some encouragement

Hi Mama, I hope you are feeling more positive today?
For me, long term sobriety certainly does bring ups and downs. Thats life and we wouldnt be normal if we felt happy always. ( I wish we did tho ) BUT when we are happy and sober we REALLY know we are in a good place, not chemically achieved. Also the highs are higher and the lows are not so low as when we are drinking. Plus the problems we have whether it be depression or something more tangible can be tackled properly.
Keep going and maybe keep a journal of your moods, you will probably find that your good moods and positive times certainly outweigh your down times. Hang in there girl

[mario]

I need some encouragement

Hi Mama sending you postive vibes, keep at it :-)

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

I feel good this morning...Rusty your post was birlliant and i will print it out. I think it was good that I talked to my hubs about how deporived I was feeling.....at the end of the night he said he was proud of me. And here it is, 6am, on a Sunday morning and I am awake and typing away. I am going to buy a beautful journal and start writing...the first thing will be a list of all the disastrous, stupid things that I have done drunk.......
Thanks so much to those of you that responded. I know I have been here a long time, and I wanted to speak out before, but I was afraid of mean spirits.......now I can take the tough love ( and the sweet well wishes!!)

[Unwasted]

I need some encouragement

Mama Bear,

Just sending encouragement your way. You've already been given lots of good advice but I wanted to second what Molly said about your husband not drinking. Mine has quit and it's helped me tremendously even though initially I thought I was okay with him drinking around me. So if you husband is willing, I would take him up on that offer.

Also, I would just remind you of a phrase that helps me. Our rememberances of alcohol are cloaked in what shrinks call "euphoric thinking." For the most part, we don't remember the bad, only the good of our drinking days. So I think what you plan to do - write down all the awful stuff about what you did while drinking is a great idea. It's actually Step 1 of AA, which I just did yesterday. The idea is "we are powerless over alcohol" and we write down all the times we can think of instances where we were in fact powerless. My list was long - I wrote down very specific times when I wanted to only have one or two drinks but went on to have many, and then the disasterous results that occurred afterwards.

For a year and a half I had many failed attempts to stop drinking - two very serious ones, only to fail. Finally, something clicked and I'm making this one work.......I just never gave sobriety long enough. As Molly mentioned, 30 days is a fantastic start, but it really takes quite a bit longer to switch to the gratitude mode where you truly would not go back to drinking because you genuinely don't want to.

Sending you peace and strength...........let this be your quit!! :lilheart:

[Doggygirl]

I need some encouragement

MB, I was so glad to come on here this morning and see your post! I'm glad you are up and at 'em already and hangover free. Sometimes a night riddled with cravings can feel like an eternity. You did it!!!!! :yougo:

mama bear;1293401 wrote: thank you so much everyone. I went to the movies and had a great time. It can be done.....I just need to keep being strong!! AB will help for now. And Hubs said he would quit if it helps!!
I vote with Molly and the others. TAKE HIM UP ON IT. Obviously he is offering because he wants to support you. LET HIM!!! No matter what you try to tell yourself about being able to "handle it" (him doing his normie drinking thing) this will be a LOT easier if he doesn't. Take all the help you can get!!!!!

mama bear;1293560 wrote: I am going to buy a beautful journal and start writing...the first thing will be a list of all the disastrous, stupid things that I have done drunk.......

This is a good idea. Putting it all in black and white is a good step towards accepting reality.

This journey is not easy MB. I'm just glad you kept coming back even though it wasn't your time yet. I hope it's your time now! Be willing to do anything to put your sobriety first. Consider things that you were previously unwilling to consider. Make a new and radical plan.

Good luck today!

DG

[momof3]

I need some encouragement

Good Morning Mamabear,

So happy that you made it through the night and that you are feeling bright and chipper this morning. What a difference a few hours can make!!

Getting through the initial phase for me was one foot in front of the other. But, it is so worth it Mama Bear. My life isn't "picture perfect" as no one's is but I am engaged with life and with others in a way that I never thought imaginable. Life is much more meaningful. Looking back, I see how drinking made me so self-absorbed and I was ashamed. There is no holding me back now. I am living life at 110%.

Your beautiful spirit shines through your photos and look at how you have touched so many people here at MWO. The skies the limit for you girl if you can stay AF. It's an amazing journey and I know you can do it.

:hM3

[GingerDust]

I need some encouragement

MB, as you know, I'm also on AB. I am finding that I'm not content sitting idly by, waiting to feel better, which is what I did when I was drinking. I'm happier when I'm filling my time with things I want to do, with the things that important to me, little accomplishments, fun stuff, things like that. I did not believe that physical exercise would do for me what it does for others, but it has provided an incredible mood and energy boost. We were out of town for a few days and I couldn't do it (aqua fit, which mild aerobics in water). It was surprising how much my mood and energy level plummeted during those few days.

Hang in there. Don't waste time grieving over the end of the worst thing you ever did to yourself. :l

[mama bear]

I need some encouragement

again...thank you amazing friends.....you have no idea how strong and determined you are making me feel

[one2many]

I need some encouragement

On my phone do have to make this short. Maybe if you joined a thread that was AF and that u check into every day for accountability, I know that really worked for me, it's great to keep in touch with our friends but sometimes we need more than that and we need a thread where the focus is AF xx.

[sunshine_gg]

I need some encouragement

Just saw this now, MB :l

I don't count myself as a long termer yet either... but like Molly, I am examining the process of, and even more so the consequences of drinking.. when those thoughts pop in. I am actually repulsed for the most part and feel protective of my sobriety for the first time.

The empty next syndrome is rather powerful... wishing you contentment, my dear :l