Hey MB,
Sorry to hear that you drank the other night. I must say that once you get some solid sober time underneath your belt, the emotional ups and downs will even out.
I am not at all attracted to drama anymore. Yet, when I was drinking and newly sober, I used to seek it out. I didn't realize it at the time of course. It's unconscious and automatic; part of what alcohol does to our brain. Looking back, I see seeking out drama or putting myself in the middle of it was my way of opening up the door to drinking again, i.e., "I am so stressed out from this and I cannot cope so I am going to have a drink."
Hope this helps.
:h
M3
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