STILL TRYING

[spuddleduck]

Im struggling to understand what is going on in my head with alcohol. Hope if I write some of it down perhaps I can get some advice.
I want to put some points down as it?s the best way for me to do it.

I didn?t drink much until I was about 35
When I was younger and drank I was always drunk
Sometimes I didn?t drink for 9months or so but when I did I didn?t stop

I never wanted to drink or missed it

In later years, I have realised that alcohol has a grip on me. A few years ago I was drinking every day. (for about 2 years) . ome horrid times of it. After finding mwo I was sober for 3 months . And everyday was fantastic.

I seem to not be able to get myself back to where I am. I do not like drinking. My social life is far worse for me drinking. My self esteem is far worse for me drinking. I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO BUT I SEEM TO NO BE DOIN IT

[Doggygirl]

STILL TRYING

Spuds, first off, here is a big hug for you!!!! :l

I spent a long time pondering the very questions you are with regard to AL and my thinking. I hated what drinking was doing to my life and my body. I wanted to choose not to drink. But I could not do it. I felt like I was going crazy!!! :nutso:

What I have learned is that this is the nature of addiction, pure and simple. What you described about how your addiction evolved - your drinking experiences from the early days onward - are not exactly the same as *everyone's* progression. However, the progression you describe IS the progression that many people experience. You are not alone and you are not crazy or anything!!!!!

Have you ever put an official plan in writing for yourself? If you haven't, could you make a plan? The stuff in the toolbox is great. I also suggest asking yourself what you have been UNWILLING to try in the past, and make yourself try some of those things now. I was most resistent to things that have actually been the BEST things for me to do to get and stay sober.

Most importantly, NEVER GIVE UP!!

DG

[DriftyAlison0]

STILL TRYING

Reread the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and like Doggy says, write down a plan and stick to it. What has worked in the past? What has not? What would you be willing to do to quit drinking? Would going to rehab help? What is your plan now and why isn't it working?

Sometimes learning how to say no to al will be helpful as well. Hang in there Spuds. You can regain the three months and then go even further then that. I am 10 months AF and I can tell you that it does get better the longer that you remain sober. But it will continue to get worse the longer that you drink.