Help staying sober

[pingu1997]

Help staying sober

thank you to my friends from the army and others who don't know me who have made such lovely and positive comments, and thank you in a weird sort of way to Supercrew who has finally brought some emotion out of me for the first time in 10 months.....
Have spent a lot of time today soul searching, sleeping, shopping, talking, and crying, lots of crying.....

One of the things I have resolved to do is go to AA tomorrow night with a friend of ours who has been going to meetings for 12 years. I need some help in getting my head straight, I can't do it on my own any more.
Also getting my hair cut short tomorrow, spending time with a mate, got some sleeping pills, going to ring my GP in the morning to talk about the effects of cutting down meds and generally stuff that's doing my head in, went to the charity shop and bought a belt, my shiny things arrived and i ordered some totally inappropriate clothing from a funky online store...

thanks again for the positive messages......

[Supercrew]

Help staying sober

pingu1997;1298631 wrote: thank you to my friends from the army and others who don't know me who have made such lovely and positive comments, and thank you in a weird sort of way to Supercrew who has finally brought some emotion out of me for the first time in 10 months.....
Have spent a lot of time today soul searching, sleeping, shopping, talking, and crying, lots of crying.....

One of the things I have resolved to do is go to AA tomorrow night with a friend of ours who has been going to meetings for 12 years. I need some help in getting my head straight, I can't do it on my own any more.
Also getting my hair cut short tomorrow, spending time with a mate, got some sleeping pills, going to ring my GP in the morning to talk about the effects of cutting down meds and generally stuff that's doing my head in, went to the charity shop and bought a belt, my shiny things arrived and i ordered some totally inappropriate clothing from a funky online store...

thanks again for the positive messages......

Hi Ping,

I hope you realize I was trying to get that response with my post. I know it has probably been hell for you over the last year trying to stay stopped and still obsessing over the thought of drinking. I did it for years...... unsuccessfully. I also know that I had a very short memory regarding why I really wanted to quit and the pain and problem alcohol brought into my life. Yes I could always imagine taking that first sip and relaxing in that outdoor patio on the beach, but in reality my drinking experiences never ended there and normally never began there either. I had to quit romanticizing my thoughts of drinking and break it down to what it really was for me....pain.

So I hope my post didn't come off as a slap to your year of success, but I did want it to slap you into reality a little bit. ......and I really don't know what the shiny purple things refer to, I am guessing they are some sort of pill that has helped you quit.

[pingu1997]

Help staying sober

no, no pills for quitting, I did that with hard work and a bloody strong mind and desire to change having been told by my doctor to cut down (yeah right, I don't do cutting down, been there, failed at that)

and yeah your post pissed me right off, I had 3 hours sleep last night and wound myself up into some crazy manic state, so to read that at 6am this morning when I felt like shite anyway..... yeah I cried, for the first time in 10 months

fyi the shiny things are things to put in my holes... yes I am into piercings LOL, I have 14 although all but 1 are hidden behind hair or clothes. I buy myself new things or get new holes as a treat for another month sober..... and I love purple!

[Supercrew]

Help staying sober

Cool on the piercings and the willpower! Sorry for upsetting you, because that wasn't the response I was looking for, but I did want you to look back and realize why you decided to quit drinking a year ago.

I apologize for causing you any negative emotions other that opening your eyes to why you want to be sober. Sorry

[stirly-girly]

Help staying sober

Supercrew;1298647 wrote: Cool on the piercings and the willpower! Sorry for upsetting you, because that wasn't the response I was looking for, but I did want you to look back and realize why you decided to quit drinking a year ago.

I apologize for causing you any negative emotions other that opening your eyes to why you want to be sober. Sorry

Pingu, so glad to hear that you are about to make some changes as far as your sobriety goes. I hope AA works for you. I know it does for many members here. While MWO helps us tremendously, we often need something that is up close and personal. Something that is not just in our virtual lives. Wishing you the best of luck in getting through this difficult time. I know that you determined about getting one year sober under your belt and by dawg, you did it and did it well. Now it's about making changes to adjust your life to ongoing sobriety. Emotions, both positive and negative, will always be there. And if you cut down on your meds, the emotions will be stronger than what you have been experiencing for almost a year now. You crying today was the first sign of that. Now that you've learned how to live sober, you need to work on how to confront those emotions and various problems in your life, whether they be ongoing or new ones that pop up. Also, IMHO, it's good that you got something to help you sleep. Sleep deprivation will definitely not help you deal with the new, stronger emotions that will slowly emerge.

I know you expected something big to change when you had one year sober - something tangible in your life - a gift of some kind. I've said it before - you have that gift already. It is the gift of sobriety, the gift of a healthy life. You gave it to yourself through your hard work to stay AF all this time. Wishing you the best of luck with the AA meeting and with your GP, change of meds, etc. Please do keep us posted. :huggy

And something for all of us to remember - a thread that One2many posted almost two years ago. Here's the link and I'm going to :bump: it as well. An excellent thread starter.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...rap-42629.html

[techie]

Help staying sober

you know that saying, "there's strength in numbers?" Well, for me, every time I fought off that urge to drink, I counted that a win/win. With every win I gained strength. While it wasn't easy, it did get easier. I found my real friends accepting my non-drinking life style. I also discovered after a few months that many of my firends were NOT big drinkers. It was me, me alone that developed the notion that everyone was drinking as much as me.

There are some many personal discoveries to make on the AF journey. Enriching and new sources of fulfillment. Give it a chance. Open yourself to those opportunities, I think you will really like what you find !

Techie xxx

[Unwasted]

Help staying sober

Pingu I never saw myself as an AAer, but the friendship and real, human face to face support is amazing......not evey meeting is great but it's helping me a lot! Just keep going........even if you don't walk out of every meeting feeling wonderful, keep at it. We have to keep an open mind and try different things when we start feeling compromised. Best to you!

[mama bear]

Help staying sober

Pingu...I am not the sober rock star you are....but I am going to try an All Womens AA group tonight for the first time....and I will be thinking of you...ok???
and I LOVE purple!!

[SKendall]

Help staying sober

Pingu, I can't add to the wisdom said above, it's priceless. I hope you are feeling better and looking to the future in an exciting, positive way.

P.S. Cryling is both a release and the start of healing.

[pingu1997]

Help staying sober

well sorry to say this sober rock star hated AA last night, it made her sad, depressed and utterly scared.

Plan C is to try a women's only group a week on Sunday. Meanwhile she has her new shiny things, absolutely outrageous leggings, decided to go back onto normal dose of medication (dr too busy to advise me LOL) and work through these stupid voices on my own and with the support of my friends

[red67]

Help staying sober

Corrine, I totally understand about the AA meeting last night. I have tried so many meetings and most of them were horrible (for me). I did find two that I liked, one is just a discussion group (no steps, hugging or breaking off, I hate that stuff) and the other is a womens group. The womens group includes the stuff i dont like but the women are real nice.

I am also going to start going to Women for Sobriety next Monday. It is not AA so I am excited to see what that is like.
Unfortunately some AA members have a mentality that justs turns me off. It is AA or no way attitude that I hate the most. I got sober without AA and I really find it insulting to be told I can't stay sober unless I do it the AA way. Last guy that told me that pissed me off so bad I really wanted to drink. It was when I was just 4 months sober. Luckily I just came here and ranted. Screw him and those who think like him. I honestly think AA can really drive people to drink after the meetings (I have been to some that I wont even go back to the buildings they were held in for anything).

Anyways, there are good meetings out there, including non AA meetings. Keep trying and I know you will find one you like.