Dear Al,
This is a letter of good bye. Given our intense relationship I realize this might come as a shock to you and I know you?ll try to make me change my mind, but after all our years together I have finally found the courage and strength to leave you.
Let me reminisce a little, and look at how we started. Oh you were very clever ? you created an image of yourself that was hard to resist, and you hired people to help create this false image ? you were everywhere ? my friends loved you, you appeared on television, in films, in magazines ? and you only allowed people to see the alluring side of you ? the cool image, the sense that life with you would be more enjoyable, more exciting. ?Life is better with me in it,? you say. ?I?m sophisticated, I can ease your pain, I?m there to help.? And I fell for it.
But I?ve seen through you.
They tell me that I abused you, but let?s examine the evidence. I gave you my all ? my head, heart and soul. I treasured you, thought only of you, put my life on hold for you. I lied for you, hid you, protected you and I shouldered the blame. I dropped my friends for you and hurt my family and people I love ? I gave you my all, and for what?
You prayed on my insecurities, you treated me so badly I was often ill, ended up in hospital, used me and made me behave in ways I didn?t mean to or want to ? and who suffered the consequences ? me. I even became a danger to myself and potentially to others ? all under your control. You manipulated, controlled and rid me of my confidence and self esteem. And it was never enough ? I could never give you enough ? you wanted more and more until eventually you would have taken my life. And stupidly I kept coming back ? I convinced myself that this time it would be different. If you had been any other person I would be seen as a victim, a sufferer, but not you ? no ? I am the aggressor ? I abuse you.
But I?ve seen through you.
And I am no longer the weak person you once knew. I?ve changed. I no longer believe your lies and promises. I?ve seen through your fa?ade ? in reality you are an insidious, subversive, manipulative, poisonous being who preys on innocent people thinking only of yourself and your own needs.
I?ve seen through you.
So GET OUT. I?ve changed the locks and you are no longer welcome. I have found the strength to stand up to you. You will no longer abuse me. As with all bullies, once people stand up to you, you wither, you lose your power, you are nothing. I am rebuilding my life without you. To me you are dead, and in my more charitable moments I would say R.I.P., but if truth be known, I really want you to suffer the way you have made others suffer. However, it is now out of my hands what happens to you.
And what happens to me? Well, that is now well and truly in my hands and I have a future awaiting, with blank pages on which to write a different ending to my story. I can assure you of one thing ? you will not be part of it.
This is a letter of good bye. Given our intense relationship I realize this might come as a shock to you and I know you?ll try to make me change my mind, but after all our years together I have finally found the courage and strength to leave you.
Let me reminisce a little, and look at how we started. Oh you were very clever ? you created an image of yourself that was hard to resist, and you hired people to help create this false image ? you were everywhere ? my friends loved you, you appeared on television, in films, in magazines ? and you only allowed people to see the alluring side of you ? the cool image, the sense that life with you would be more enjoyable, more exciting. ?Life is better with me in it,? you say. ?I?m sophisticated, I can ease your pain, I?m there to help.? And I fell for it.
But I?ve seen through you.
They tell me that I abused you, but let?s examine the evidence. I gave you my all ? my head, heart and soul. I treasured you, thought only of you, put my life on hold for you. I lied for you, hid you, protected you and I shouldered the blame. I dropped my friends for you and hurt my family and people I love ? I gave you my all, and for what?
You prayed on my insecurities, you treated me so badly I was often ill, ended up in hospital, used me and made me behave in ways I didn?t mean to or want to ? and who suffered the consequences ? me. I even became a danger to myself and potentially to others ? all under your control. You manipulated, controlled and rid me of my confidence and self esteem. And it was never enough ? I could never give you enough ? you wanted more and more until eventually you would have taken my life. And stupidly I kept coming back ? I convinced myself that this time it would be different. If you had been any other person I would be seen as a victim, a sufferer, but not you ? no ? I am the aggressor ? I abuse you.
But I?ve seen through you.
And I am no longer the weak person you once knew. I?ve changed. I no longer believe your lies and promises. I?ve seen through your fa?ade ? in reality you are an insidious, subversive, manipulative, poisonous being who preys on innocent people thinking only of yourself and your own needs.
I?ve seen through you.
So GET OUT. I?ve changed the locks and you are no longer welcome. I have found the strength to stand up to you. You will no longer abuse me. As with all bullies, once people stand up to you, you wither, you lose your power, you are nothing. I am rebuilding my life without you. To me you are dead, and in my more charitable moments I would say R.I.P., but if truth be known, I really want you to suffer the way you have made others suffer. However, it is now out of my hands what happens to you.
And what happens to me? Well, that is now well and truly in my hands and I have a future awaiting, with blank pages on which to write a different ending to my story. I can assure you of one thing ? you will not be part of it.
enguin:
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