Back to the bottle

[Miklo]

I went back to drinking a few weeks ago. I have been pretty good about moderating so far, but I will let things go how they will. One thing I have learned from this site is that most of the people posting have anxiety or depression, or similer chemical inbalances going on which surely isnt helped by AL, those issues should be fixed. I also notice that most here use AL as an excuse for actions, a copout. For example, 3 pages " I cheated while drunk", and everyone says "its ok, it was the AL, you blacked out it wasnt really who you are, etc" Why not own up, and admit you did, drunk or not you did it, AL didnt make you do anything! Never trust a man untill you have got drunk with him, truth is AL takes away inhibition, it allows emotions to flow that are normaly supressed. It allows the subconcious (who you really are) to come out. I drank more than most here, 2 or 3 bottles of WINE a night, come on, try whiskey. Stop putting the blame on AL, and fix the other problems. You want to talk about problems, your anxiety, I have seen some crazy things. People blown to pieces, too many dead bodies to remember, been shot at, bombed, killed people, I survied COMBAT! Those are the issues I need to fix, not say that I drink because of those things, so AL makes me......No, fix the underlying issues. OWN UP. It is rediculous! IF YOU STOP DRINKING TODAY, ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ARE STILL THERE. AL IS NOT THE PROBLEM, YOU ARE.

[Rainyday]

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Wow. Pretty intense post. You are definately correct about Chemical Imbalances, and mediciation should help with certain ones. Keep in mind thought that AL also changes the brain chemistry and one must work on re-figuring the brain with hynotherapy, positive thoughts, and re-amping the body with depleted vitamins.

I am so sorry to hear about the combat issues. Thank you so much for sacrifying (assuming you are fighting for my country and it's allies that is!). My family is trully indebted to those who give up everything to fight for us.

And definately, owning up is a key in all of this.

Take care,
Renee

[sujo]

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I agree with some of what you say, al is a depressant it can lower inhibitions. It's not the sole reason for changed behaviours, you cited cheating as an example, I've cheated many times drunk & sober. Why....? For a few moments I feel I'm worth something. Of course it isn't reality. Sometimes one needs to escape that harsh truth. I'm drinking again too.

[Bella]

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Wow. What a message. I know where youre coming frm. Dont be too angry. Alcohol is more powerful. Bella xx

[KateH1]

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Hi Miklo,
Wow....you sound very angry! You would be quite surprised to find out the horrible events that many here have endured and yet, many of us have found sobriety. Yes, sobriety is possible for all of us, but, sobriety takes intense work.

I do agree that all of us have to "own our actions", AL or no AL. Choosing to blame others or alcohol for our actions does not obsolve us of what we do and the choices we make. But, sometimes, people come here just think out loud and trying to figure things out.

It is a medical fact that alcohol creates chemical imbalances, depression and anxiety. Alcohol also inhibits many medications from doing their job. The first step to health and well being is to stop drinking. Then and only then can we begin to work on the root causes for turning to alcohol as a crutch. You are right, there will always be issues in our lives. There will always be times of great sadness and feelings of wanting to escape. But, I will say this, problems do become easier to manage after some time remaining sober and doing some intense personal work on ourselves.

[KittyKatLost]

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I can relate to doing stupid things like texting calling up people, ya Ive done it , there s no way in me denying it. I blame it on the AL since it turns me into a whole different person, but ultimatly it was me who deceided once again to pick that vodka up knowing it could lead to what stupid things Ive done in the past. That why Iver deceided to quit, your are right thats one thing everyone says which is hard for me to grasp, the problems will still be there for me when I wake up just I feel 40 times worse with a hangover. Its me I decided to pick up the bottle, but addiction is powerful. I hate myself at times for doing the things and I beat my mind up for doing the stuff Ive done , yes but it was me who chose to pick that bottle up knowing when It would end up to me acting a fool. Tho there have been times where I have had a great time too, just another temporary fix.

[LibraryGirl]

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It sounds like you are trying to justify your decision to continue drinking. That is your choice, but it's not fair to belittle everyone here for pouring their hearts out, and admitting faults in hopes of getting some help. I doubt anyone believes AL is THE problem. The problem is the underlying issues that we all try to cover up with AL, by drinking too much, too often. Consequently, some behaviors that we may want to suppress or not deal with, ironically become the very things that surface when we do drink.

Most of us realize that, and that is why we are here. We HAVE owned up and we want to stop destructive behavior, in all it's forms, and getting drunk is a gateway to those kinds of behaviors. Stopping AL is just one step, but for most of us, it is the step we need to take first.

Also, you cannot compare your experiences with others and say, well I went through this and I survived, so your problems are petty. All of us can only know our own experiences, and yes, sometimes things that look benign or inconsequential to others are things that cause US anxiety and concern. Try having a little respect for your fellow human beings.

[KateH1]

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Well said, Library Girl!

[KittyKatLost]

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Yes so well said, library girl

[K9Lover]

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Wow. And how are you doing with fixing your underlying problems Miklo? Mine have all gone away since I quit Alcohol. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones...it WAS the problem, not ME as a person, as you implied...well no, as you blatantly stated.

[nicelife]

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Oh Miklo - here's really hoping that you were absolutely tanked when you posted this! I don't think so though, because it was fairly articulate..... The reason I hope you were blind drunk is that if you wrote this as a sober being you need serious care and lots of concern. Should we not respect where each and every one of us is at on our life journey, and also how we got to be where we are - sober or not???

I wish you every possible success at whatever you choose to do to ensure your life is a happy and fulfilling one.

With respect, Nicelife.

[Guitarista]

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Miklo;1305179 wrote: IF YOU STOP DRINKING TODAY, ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ARE STILL THERE. AL IS NOT THE PROBLEM, YOU ARE.

Hi Miklo,

Sorry to hear you've had to go through all of that friend. I wish you good health and safe travels, and i hope you can come out the other side with a peaceful heart one day.

Yep, our problems are still there when we are sober, to be sure. Magnified when we are hungover and/or have booze in our system. Speaking only from my experience, all external problems or issues really paled in comparison to the thrill and pride i was feeling just getting sober, so my 'problems' disappeared along with the grog. However, i am fortunate that i don't seem to have any (many) internal issues/memories/experiences haunting me when i'm sober, these days. It was a different story many years ago when i lost a partner and a son, but we can come through, and eventually shine in our own way. Take care of yourself.

All the best mate.

G-bloke.

[nicelife]

Back to the bottle

Mr G - I've not known any of your story really.....(said in absolutely amazement....)

MASSIVE salute to you and you gotta know - you DO shine........very brightly!!!!!

[Pink Angel]

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I have to say, with your post Myclo (or something) you have more than likely made a lot of people feel ten times worse about themselves. Tell me, was that your intention?
What is the point in dwelling in the past and comparing whos experiences were worse and who deserves to drink......THERE IS NO POINT!
What we do gain from is focusing on our future and working on personal issues whether they be big or small to make way for a more content and peaceful life.
Alcohol is an escape! It numbs.
We ALL have our reasons for drinking and none of us should have to justify it to you or anyone else for that matter.
I think its time you got down off your high horse and walked with everyone else through this journey. If you dont want to do that, Keep riding and keep your blunt opinions to yourself.

[resrchqueen]

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I for one...am not gonna judge ANYBODY here... Not my place or my expertise.