Techie's take on hate

[fennel]

Techie's take on hate

Don't know how the green grinning face got in my post. Very much not intended. :h

[sunshinedaisies]

Techie's take on hate

:h:h Techie

[NoraC]

Techie's take on hate

Techie - been thinking about this a lot. :h

[Wildflowers]

Techie's take on hate

I use to think hate was the opposite of love, but I think it is disguised as fear. I'd hope that peoples true motives are to support each other & I think over all they are. One of the negatives with communicating over the Internet is trying to determine what another posters really trying to convey. Or second guessing what their intent really is. By doing so all types of accusations fly. As there were two separate incidents involving different parties. When things get very heated or build up over time between members, well the lid blows. In serious cases defamation may occur. I still find there are more positives than negatives. I need support & I need to support others. Helping myself & others.

I'm pretty new here & I post mainly on the Topamax board. It was brought to my attention what was going on because, it was briefly mentioned that there was a bit of trouble between members by our "Mama Sunny". As I continue to spend time exploring the different boards ~ threads, I read again elsewhere that there was trouble.

These are my motives for wanting to know more. One, I'm an alkie in early sobriety & I admit that I like a little drama, that is until I read what was going on. Two, as this site is large & with many posters I'm trying to get a feel for who people are, what their goals are, personalities, etc. Where I might feel the most comfy, or have something to offer someone. Three, a few years ago I belonged to a forum that became so traditionally fundamental & fanatical that people couldn't get along, because they only offered one traditional recovery way out. Alliances were formed & the majority ruled. Those of us who wanted a recovery forum that was less fundamental or offered fresh & new ideas about recovery issues were tossed aside. This forum today is not very active.

I lurked here in 2007 & found out about Topa. My longest sobriety was achieved. As I'd tried nearly everything else. Came back here & lurked here off & on. Don't know what yr. Think 2010. I posted for a short time without Topa. Maybe a month. There were two posters who reached out to me & tried to help me. I will name just one as this person was accused of not helping others. Yes, it was Ruby. Now granted a month of posting isn't very long to give a fair shot to other members. But still somebody reached out to me & it was her. When Sunshinedaises was recently in the hospital, who was it who came over to the Topa board & let us girls know. Not only that, she offered us some helpful suggestions ~ advice. I replied & she responded to me. It was quite helpful. Thank you Rubywillow!!!.... You do make a difference!!! By the way I don't have a Ruby bumper sticker, haven't started a fan club, but I think shes nice & has just as much to offer as the rest of you. Maybe its not as good as what you think you have to offer, but we all have something to offer. I value different people for a variety of different reasons. Just like I think we can all be judgemental, selfish & down right rotten at times to. So, when I start pointing my fingers at people, I'm slowly learning to stop myself, cause they tend to be pointing back at me.

Now with that being said the people who spoke so harshly to you ~ Ruby & others, have also helped many here including myself. One of them is somebody who I respect & followed their posts when I was lurking & do now as a member. I'd also like to say I'm no angel & as an ex forum member from another site, I didn't always play nice in the sandbox either. Yet, we ended up apologizing to each other. When I parted it was on good terms. This is just good policy! I don't like bad Karma. My reason tho was cause I needed many ways out to sobriety, not just one. I do hope that people will think about their words & how they can really hurt. Especially to someone who is already hurting. I'm very sorry for you & the other member here, who were called names. I appreciate the maturity on how you handled this with very little sobriety may I add. Yes you MB.

Ruby, if you read this, I hope you come back! Even if you don't get an apology, forgive them anyway! I know it hurts! Look for the good in people even those who hurt you, its there!

I hope that the people who need to read this thread will & take positive action. Will live up to their Emotional Sobriety that I respect & have been strengthened by.

I thank you Techie for starting this thread & for all those who are Peacemakers!!!..... Yes, I like your humor..... I need to laugh now!!!!!!......................................... ..................

Do I hit the submit button???

Yes, Wildflowers has to take a stand. She must find courage inside so that the wind & birds will carry her seeds & plant beautiful Wildflowers.

[NoraC]

Techie's take on hate

Wildflowers - that was beautifully written. Thank you so very much. :h

[mama bear]

Techie's take on hate

I am fighting insomnia and am up reading this and I apprecite your beautifully written post. Thanks for acknowledgeing me, but more importantly Ruby. She will not, I do not want to say much more out of repsect for her privacy, but she is deeply hurt and is devastated by the attacks made here. One came from someone she considered a friend.
I will let her know what you have said...it may help.
Thank you so much...... and may peace and manners and calm heads rule! (myself included)

[tawnyfrog]

Techie's take on hate

I was very sad and disappointed this week. On so many levels.

Thanks, Techie.

[Chillgirl]

Techie's take on hate

Hatred does not cease by hatred,
but only by love,
this is the eternal rule.
~ Buddha

[fennel]

Techie's take on hate

Bump.

[nicelife]

Techie's take on hate

Thank you Techie - you're a kind soul!

I was distressed at seeing people get really hurt..... I hate to think that someone is sad because another has hurt them! I wanted to fix/help it but I didn't know how. It took on a life of its own and kept growing. Once it got too big I hid...................

Hugs to the universe, and all who dwell in her!

Nicey

[nicelife]

Techie's take on hate

Oh meant to say that I've always believed that hatred is diminished by love. Try loving someone who 'hates' you and see what the response is.

Just putting it out there.............

Nicey

[sunshinetoday]

Techie's take on hate

Lovely post Techie!

[DizzyBee]

Techie's take on hate

:thanks: for this

I too learned a very good lesson in my personal life in the past few days. We spend so much time wanting to be right that we forget what is important: support and love. It is only when we sit back, calm down and think about it that we come to our senses.

Even though it is a lot harder, saying 'I'm sorry' always makes me feel better than 'telling it as it is.'

So after picking up the pieces I will indeed give peace a chance.

eace:

[fennel]

Techie's take on hate

nicelife;1307440 wrote: Oh meant to say that I've always believed that hatred is diminished by love. Try loving someone who 'hates' you and see what the response is.

Just putting it out there.............

Nicey

I need to remember this...thanks for posting it, Nicey! :h

[fennel]

Techie's take on hate

DizzyBee;1307498 wrote: :thanks: for this

I too learned a very good lesson in my personal life in the past few days. We spend so much time wanting to be right that we forget what is important: support and love. It is only when we sit back, calm down and think about it that we come to our senses.

Even though it is a lot harder, saying 'I'm sorry' always makes me feel better than 'telling it as it is.'

So after picking up the pieces I will indeed give peace a chance.

eace:

Well put, DizzyBee.