My normal routine typically starts with a glass of wine at dinner (which turns into a couple). Then I'll work in the evening and have either scotch and/or cognac. I don't know how much alcohol I consume but it's well above 2 drinks. Maybe 5-6 per day.
When I'm traveling there will be periods where I don't drink much. Being away from a routine life seems to break the alcohol routine. Eventually it slowly gets back in there though.
If I don't drink, I can't sleep unless I'm utterly exhausted. Otherwise I start thinking too much. I think mostly about work & opportunities. I think about what's missing in my life and what I want to change. Sometimes I'm depressed & lonely (usually because I haven't found the right girl yet) but other times I'm excited & energetic. Alcohol I guess has turned into my escape by forcing me to chill & relax.
I'd like to be a guy who can just enjoy having 1 glass of wine with dinner but I really don't know if I can. I like the relaxed feeling of being inebriated. I'm not sure what I'd do to replace it as it's become a part of my life. People don't realize I drink so much because I function normally & rarely go past certain limits where I have a hangover (although it does sometimes happen, especially at parties).
I'm fit, have a job I love, awesome & supportive family, friends who I'd do anything for and vice versa (some who drink, others who don't), but I've come to realize I'm slowly killing myself with Alcohol.
I have a problem that needs to be fixed. Is alcohol the problem or the symptom? I'm an alcoholic aren't I?
I'm not going to drink tonight. In part because I feel kind of sick having overdone but also because I want to change. Thanks for reading.
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