almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

[dove]

On Monday it will be two weeks af for me. I'm bored and boring. I do nothing but stay at home, study and sleep. I don't really feel like I am accomlishing anything I couldn't be if I would've been drunk a couple nights over the last two weeks. Yeah, nothing to be embarrassed about but those feelings always fade away anyway. People have invited me out or over to their place for dinner and drinks but I know I'm trying not to drink and being the sober one is only fun....never! I did that one night in December and I don't want to be there again. This is just a really boring life and I don't know if I want it. For those of you who don't know me, as the saying goes, 1 drink is too many and 2 (or 3, or 4...) bottles of wine never enough.

I know people will tell me to find a hobby but I am already busy enough - 20 credits in school, 25 hours of work a week, 3 dogs, a husband and just keeping the house clean and the laundry done (don't worry hubby helps too) kinda take up all my time!

And yes, I could find time, say Friday night to go out and drink if I wanted to.

Anyone else experience these feelings when first quitting drinking? How did you deal with it?

I'm going to sleep now...Friday night and going to bed early and sober - boring!

[weemelonhead]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

Dove my dear....a sober girlie is NEVER as boring as a drunk one.....

Perhaps you are now finding out as I did, that your life was boring anyway, you just masked it with drink? I discovered that i did absolutely nothing, nada, rien.....apart from work, housework, diy, sleep and then fill in any spare time out of my tree!!!

I am slowly learning to 'do' things with these spare hours now, but like you, I found it very dull at first...I wasn't used to having to entertain myself in any healthy ways, I just used the easy 'get the cask out of the cupboard' option....Not that my life is a great party now, but i use the money that I would have spent on booze to go for a coffee, buy new books, get cheap massages, and treat my daughter to nice things that give me GREAT joy!!!!

I guess it's all a matter of getting into a different way of doing things.....crikey...even the tv used to entertain me after a couple of bottles of wine, I now half listen to whatever my partner has on while he slurps, and wonder how I could ever have sat through that sh*t night after night????
It does get better, I do a whole lot more than I used to do, and am also starting to meet up with friends who i always used to put off as I was either too hung over or too desperate to have a drink in private to bother with....
And I enjoy just going to bed early!!! I love curling up quietly with a good book, a cup of horlicks and a couple of biscuits, knowing that I'm going to wake up with a clear head, and a a guilt free heart....
Keep going Dove.....be happy that you are sober, you're doing very well, especially if you're finding it all a bit of a drag...I think recently that there have been a number of similar posts...I know that I thought that my life would be a zinging, problem free mardi gras as soon as I nailed the booze...I am now finding out that this is not something that comes as part of the package, i actually have to get my derriere out there and do a bit of work for myself!!

Keep going....YOU ARE SOBER....yaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!! Weeslightlylessdullthanshewasbeforemelon :H

[lushy]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

I applaud what melon said, and I applaud you for so many AF days. Yes, we need to learn to find "happiness and excitement" beyond the bottle. I understand that is hard. I have never done more than 5 days in a row without. Don't break your momentum. Stop focusing on what you do not have from not drinking, but what you DO have from not drinking, i.e., no hangovers, probably much more productive during the day, no waking up in the middle of the night wondering, "who did I offend and what did I say?". Being sober tends to be a subtle difference in our lives, not a big raging over the top thing like drinking is. When we drink we are used to that ultimate feeling of happy. When we are sober we have to dig deeper for it. But it is there. That I know. I have felt it and it feels real good.

[AAthlete]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

For me, the reason that I used to drink so much on the weekend was because I felt that I was bored all the time. In retrospect I really think it was just me gving myself an excuse to drink, because now I have no problem filling my time with lots of family, house & personal activites. Of course, I was never really one for going out and partying - I would always drink at home and usually by myself.

Dove, it almost sounds like you have too much going on in your life and there is not enough time for you. You said "20 credits in school, 25 hours of work a week, 3 dogs, a husband and just keeping the house clean and the laundry done" take up your day, no wonder going out on Friday and drinking sounds appealing - its a way to deaden the senses temporarily and escape from your incredibly busy week.

I wouldn't say you need a hobby, but would instead say that you need to carve out some time for you to do whatever: exercise, get a massage, read, go out to dinner with hubby, etc. Congrats on your two weeks sober - that is a great accomplishment. I hope that you are able to find the balance that you are looking for.

[capto]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

Not boring

Dove, weemelon is right on, there is NOTHING as engaging as a sober girl.

Give yourself some more time to adjust. Be proud of this period of abstinence?you have every right to be.

There is a great book (don?t let the title put you off), The Artist?s Way by Julia Cameron, that offers many paths to recovering ourselves. She speaks to plain folks about recovering our sense of creativity and worth. She speaks to different ways of looking at our days and our world. She suggests intriguing exercises to break out of our old way of thinking, and one which I absolutely love is the Artist Date. This is a date with yourself, perhaps no more than a couple of hours a week. It doesn?t have to be extravagant. It can vary as you discover new interests, but there is one rule: no one else is allowed to go with you. You are taking yourself and your creative partner on this date. Something just tells me that this might be right for you. Why not give it a try?

Be well and be proud of what you have done. Your abstinence is giving you options.

Best,

Capto

[lorisunshine]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

G'd morning dove,
There is very little that I can ad to what has already been said to you. I just know now that you should take pride in being sober and be grateful for the good fortune of having a clear head and the mind to want more for yourself than you have at the present.
It will come with time, but above all like yourself and look within what would make your soul smile if you took the time to do it.
Congrats on your AF effort and have a wonderful day.
Love Lori

[sammys]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

My advice is do not let that bored feeling get to you, I did a couple of times and drank and then had to start all over wasted the whole next day being hungover. I think that boredom now is our window into letting us know that we don't always need something to do or feel et. We live in an instant society now and I think that once the fast paced drinking life is gone we actually have time to do different things. Not just what we accomplished when we were functioning and drinking.

Its a whole big world out there lets go find it.

Sammys

[bear73]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

I can totally relate to that, most of my group are BIG drinkers and I was really scraed about going out as I thought it would be no fun, I'd feel left out etc.
But the opposite is true, I actually have a better time when I'm sober out. I have had bad times before when I've stopped for say a week and felt really boring.
I thik it's worth doing what you used to but without the drink (if at this point you feel strong enough).
Alan carr book is good - he urges ou to carry o nweith your life as normal as you're not missing anyhing.
also like he ideas re going out for food, cinema,art galleries etc.
god luck - I feel deep down i am boring, bit less than I used to but actually think i was bored - still am sometimes but i guess being aware of it is half the battle.
xx

[Beaches]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

Everyone has given good advice. I would just have to repeat that being bored is better than being drunk. That way you don't have to worry about wasting time recovering and starting over.
Good luck!!

[Flip]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

It thought my whole identity was the drinking Flip.... I thought I would lose myself when I stopped drinking. Who was I? I AM the drinker....the joker, the life of the party....

Guess what? I felt lost, confused and lonely for the first three or four weeks but after that, life suddenly got great! I could go anywhere, do anything and also found out that I could talk to people without quaffing a bottle of wine first!

Now there isn't enough hours in the day to do everything! I enjoy every sober moment. All 74 days of them!!! I am so grateful....

[Dancer]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

I truly believe that we drink to excess to mask certain issues in our lives. One of those issues may be that our lives are boring and dead end, so, change things. Its so easy to sink into our comfortable chair, crack open a bottle of wine and blame everything and everyone for the stage we have reached. This is our life not anyone elses, its up to you, scary I know but exciting at the same time. Well thats how I'm finding it at the moment anyhow.

Dancer.

[Accountable for Me]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

Very wise words Dancer! I couldn't of said it much better myself!!

[Waves 2]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

dancer - Drink to mask the pain, anger, worry, fear...

Sounds too familiar

[Rocky]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

Tooooooo familar...

[Dancer]

almost two weeks af and I'm...boring

Yes Waves 2, I think we have all been there and those of us who have woken up to this fact are fighting as hard as we can to get back to a normal ( or as normal ) a life as we can without alcohol.