Communication, Control, Respect, Recovery

[Wildflowers]

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[Wildflowers]

Communication, Control, Respect, Recovery

Originally posted on Techies, Final Mission Thread. I edited & removed as I realized later that I was being selfish & wanted to keep his thread about him. I apologize to you Techie.

I spoke with my BF, my Hubby last night about whether I wanted to continue my journey here at MWO. I'm not sure, but leaning against it. Still re-assessing my thoughts, feelings about if this is a healthy place to be for my recovery. After I put up one more post, that I was replying to that went poof. Then I'm just going to read once in a awhile. Then re-asses from there, but I just have this gut feeling that my recovery needs something more.

Since there has already been a misunderstanding. And this happens in real life to. Maybe I'm not a very effective communicator. Happened last wk with my daughter thru text messaging. Over some trivial thing, but never got out of hand, still frustrating.

I was typing out my post in my e-mail & came over here to copy & paste. That's when I noticed Techies post had went poof.

It's been a hard day, been wanting to drink off & on all day. Been fighting it with everything I have. I'm so afraid if I were to, that I'd never make it back this time, so I just can't. I don't want to die!... It's so hard some days!....I try to remind myself that even if its a shity day it's not a 100% shity, only 20-30 % shity. Drink would be 100% shitty day!.. & never end!... Tom will be better. Now My Lady Boy Sharon Needles better get crowned 2nite. Or maybe it will be a 95% shitty day. I'm not Fricking Drickin!

[NoraC]

Communication, Control, Respect, Recovery

Wildflowers - you have made excellent points. Thank you for posting this. I hope that you rethink leaving. This is an amazing forum. There are so many wonderful, supportive people here. I, for one, apologize for all of the misunderstanding that happened in the past week. I can assure you that this is not the normal thing around here. I hope never to see this happen again.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide. :h

[LibraryGirl]

Communication, Control, Respect, Recovery

Wildflowers, you really made me think tonight. Thank you for that. I have a terrible habit of wanting the last word, wanting to be right, wanting to prove I'm smart(er), etc. It has caused so much pain for me, and my closest friends. Mainly my bf. I blame him 95% of the time for our arguments, but I need to take a look at myself and my reactions, and my "way" of dealing with things. An honest look, and I can already tell you that I haven't been honest with myself, and I am as much to blame as he is, and I have the ability to not react, to not escalate things, to learn how to control my emotions. This is something I really, really want to work on. Your post tonight was about something else, I believe it was about this forum, but I want you to know that it resonated with me, and helped me think.

I hope you decide to stick around. Even though this forum is far from perfect, it is the no. 1 reason I am sober today. For any of the bad that's here, there's far more good that balances things, IMHO.

LG